Good coaching overall: organized practices: drills first, then 3x3 or 5x5 then scrimmage. One theme focus each practice that the coaches expect the girls to apply during the scrimmage at the end of that practice. Positive comments throughout. Last year's practices were a nice compliment to my daughter's regular practices and included strategy so we rejoined this year. State Level adds strategy and expected faster play,for sure and challenged the players.
One weekend last year, we felt she played too much, though.
Travel was organized to other states by bus.
Also, My DD now knows other girls during regular league games and that keeps the fun and social in it for her.
First experience rooming with teammates was good and after initial awkwardness, girls had a blast.

My DD has been a trapped ECNL-R player. ODP worked for us, as she made it far enough to have some games through February. Fall season rolled right into a moderately busy winter season and it worked until spring virginia soccer began. She also guest played on another team so got games in through late February. Also, some tournaments allow a single player to sign up (including Jeff Cup) and she was picked up for a spring tournament once. We got by. It may be a good time to add private lessons or small group lessons.

Agreed, Leave.
He cannot learn soccer (nor can a student learn in school ) while he is " at his breaking point and has physical manifestations to the frustration/anxiety he feels."
Life is too short. Find a nice team.
I regret not pulling my child part way through 5th grade due to issues like you describe. I waited and pulled him at the end of the year. It was a mistake to wait.

I did so last spring twice.

My daughter was picked up by a friend's club. They were short players and it was fun and a small tournament. She scored the winning goal in the last minute of the finals in poor conditions and with her weaker foot. HUGE confidence boost.

Another individual sign up the next month resulted in having to back out of that/had to take her off the list of the site due to our own team's changing schedule. She had not yet had an offer to play with any team.

Both tournaments there was a link from the tournament site to sign up. The Jefferson Cup allows this.

To be able to go onto another team and adapt to new players/another position is a good experience.

I understand 2nd teams have a spread in skill level in the U14/U15 ( and up?).
they can have a mix of players with different interest levels in soccer. Some are more serious than others, more competitive and some due to other sports may not make all practices. Some play for the social aspect. This seems like a difficult situation to coach.
Is this the pattern from this point forward on these 2nd teams?
Are there any coaches who handle this well and also are able to develop the stronger, competitive player on these teams who plays to learn more?

My 16 year old and 14 year old did it last year and need to renew for 2023 this month. One must renew certifications annually and it is alot of time, imo. It is good to renew in August for the next year , as they have time to do so while not in school. Fall and Spring trainings get booked so you might drive farther, as someone mentioned. There are costs for whistle and uniform. If they can stick with it through college years, its a great flexible side gig.