FTM due in Feb. Trying to select a pediatrician and have narrowed it down to Dr. Hamburger or Dr. McKnight. Not sure I know the right questions to ask in order to know which would be right for us.

Please let me know what factors you think are important to consider and share any feedback you have on either Ped and their respective practices.

Thanks!!

Anonymous wrote:Motherhood stuff is crap! Have you considered buying a boat from Macy's or somewhere like that in a plus size? I ended up getting a bigger coat from LL Bean and this panel thing called Make My Belly Fit from Canada. So far, I haven't needed the panel, and I'm 32 weeks, but I'm excited because I can use it when the baby is born to wear the carrier under it.

OP here, just looked up Make My Belly Fit. PP, thank you so much for this. Had been talking to hubby about trying to invent something like this, so glad it already exists. This should be perfect for what I need.

And that's a whole lot cheaper than the Canada export: Modern Eternity 3-in-1 fur-trimmed parka that I've been coveting at $345 (waaay more than I'm wiling to spend).

I really love swimming, but am struggling to keep it up. I'm only going on weekend mornings at this point, because it's when I have the energy. And even then, I am not nearly swimming at my usual pace or distance. But I don't focus on that, because I figure just getting in the pool makes me feel so good - mentally and physically.

BUT - that last couple of weekends, once I've gotten home from even a slow, short, gentle swim, I am pretty much done for the day. Like exhausted and needing a long nap that I never really bounce back from. Am at 32 weeks now and really hoping that I'm not going to have to give up swimming until after the baby gets here and I'm recovered. But I can't lose my weekend days when I still have so much to do to get nursery ready and two other kids at home needing attention.

Any suggestions? Did anyone else go through this?

OP, hang in there. Maybe identify a friend or two in the area who you can count on if you feel like you need to get out of the house again. You are right to be figuring out how to find your voice in this relationship and stand up for yourself. it sounds like you're really having a hard time right now, both in terms of struggling through the end of your pregnancy and dealing with relationship issues with your partner. Focus on identifying your support system - friends, family, etc - who you can really count on and let them know what a hard time you are having at the moment. And talk to both your therapist and your OB/MW about depression.

That sounds like a horrible night, but you made it through.

OP, I can totally relate to your anxiety, and think you're using this forum in just the right way - to help you work through this decision. I really agree with the PP who suggested working on being less of a "maximizer" - have found that pregnancy requires a lot of just trusting your gut and letting go of control. It was really hard and scary for me at first, but I just try to remind myself that this is a natural process and my body will do most of it on its own, if I just create the right enabling environment (and actually probably even if I don't).

It sounds like you've narrowed down to two choices. Maybe go ahead with one prenatal visit to your regular doc and come prepared with a list of questions, including some discussion of managing your anxiety. Then you can either (1) schedule your next prenatal with the other practice - and feel free to be upfront with your doc that this is one thing you're planning on doing to help manage the anxiety or (2) just call the other practice, let them know you're considering switching and would like to come in for a consult - they might be able to figure out a way to make that happen so that your insurance covers any charges.

And don't spend too much time worrying whether or not you're "normal" - it really doesn't matter anyway. Just focus on what it is you feel like you need in order to have the best pregnancy experience you can and to allow your body to work this crazy miracle. Figuring out how to go with the flow, has been the biggest, but most rewarding challenge for me, in some ways.

Good luck! You're gonna make a great mom. And what ever decision you make, that will be the right decision.

UPDATE:

OP here, so we wound up using encorebabyregistry.com, which seems to have worked ok. Not everybody seems to have used it, as there are some duplicates, but certainly the give us your hand-me-downs message got through loud and clear, and we have sooo many. From cribs to clothes, we're glad that much of what we will start out with for this little one is stuff that's in its second life.

We also, asked folks to consider making a donation in lieu of gifts. http://www.starshowers.org/

I can't seem to find anything online. I'm looking for a 1x, but even the places like Motherhood Maternity that have plus size lines don't seem to have any real outwear...

Zantac 2 x day seems to be helping me quite a bit, but certainly hasn't resolved the issue.

I find soft, black licorice and coconut milk both help soothe some. Also, almonds. Chew them and chew them until you have basically almond flour in your mouth and then swallow. Also, I have to have something to eat the minute I start to become aware of getting hungry.

Coconut, yogurt and banana smoothies. Throw in some protein powder if you can. Also cottage cheese. At first, just try to eat whatever you're able to keep down and don't forget your prenatal vitamins! Also, I found that half the time, I felt better after having eaten. The things that really actually made me sick were all smell related (getting stuck in traffic behind a smelly garbage truck or an oyster recycling truck - who knew that was a thing?? - were hell for me).

Didn't gain anything until the 3rd trimester. And I'm not a super-fit athlete. Baby was just happy feeding off my existing fat-stores for a while, I guess and that was fine with OB so was fine with me. If you provider is comfortable with the pace of your weight gain, then don't sweat it. Just focus on eating healthy when you are hungry and got to your prenatal visits. Let the professional let you know if/when it's time to worry.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PPs that say this is going to come down to style preference. As a FTM I'm hoping for unmedicated but open to other routes - I am going with OBs because, as PP mentioned, they are really the most progressive practice in the city and are very friendly to working with whatever plan you want. It is easy to get appointments with different providers if yours is overbooked or on holiday, and everyone is great, friendly, reliable. I have full trust in them (and this is at the I st. foggy bottom location right near the hospital). Personally, I did all the thread-reading others have suggested re: the midwives, thoroughly familiarized myself with their website, etc. and simply found them too hard core for my tastes. I don't like the judgment that "natural" is always best for everyone.

Also a FTM who opted for the OB practice at GW rather than the MW. And I've been working in maternal health and supporting midwives around the world for a decade. But I had an aversion to that specific practice and their approach, like PP, found it too judg-y and hard core. I actually know one or two of the midwives there as acquaintances and think they are probably all lovely people and primarily competent providers, but the philosophy of their practice didn't gel with me. Also, a very dear friend had a really terrible experience with them, which pretty much sealed the deal for me.

If I had had the energy in my 1st trimester, I probably would have done more looking around for midwifery options and birthing centers, but I was just too tired and overwhelmed and already felt like I was in good hands with the GW OB's.

I'd been getting my regular GYN care at the Foggy Bottom practice and just really liked, trusted and felt respected and heard by any of the OBs and nurses I interacted with. Dr. Keller, my regular OB (although I've seen many of them, because I'd just schedule appointments based on my schedule not any specific doc's availability), is on maternity leave, so I've been seeing Dr. Martinez and feel really good about it. I find the practice to be very progressive and really feel good about my choice.

Am due in Feb and have a couple of showers coming up. There are certainly items we still need, but don't really want folks to feel they need to go out and buy a bunch of stuff. Hand-me-downs and second-hand items are certainly very appreciated, as would be some more hands-on services (like helping to paint old furniture to repurpose for our nursery). (I get that some folks will want to go out and buy super cute baby items - it's hard to resist, but don't want folks to feel they have to - or even feel obligated to bring anything at all).

Does anyone have any experience creating a registry that could accommodate all that? I'm playing around with www.encorebabyregistry.com, but wonder if anyone can provide feedback on what it's like to use or any similar sites...

Thanks!!