It doesn't matter what kind of school it is. Just say: "Private School X was the best fit for my child's needs."

How hard is that?

It is 100 percent fine to run with the headphones. Seriously - if you worry, pull up pics from last year's marathon and see what percentage of the runners are wearing them.

I agree with the finish line thing as well - just don't ask your husband to come to the finish area, I met my ride at the Starbuck's on Wilson Blvd.

Of course he should call the father.

"Hi, this is your son's landlord. I'm calling because your name is listed on the rental agreement as someone to call if the rent isn't being paid. Unfortunately, your son hasn't paid the rent for two months and his latest check bounced. I'm not asking you for the money, but I am calling to ask for your help in contacting him, as he won't respond to my repeated calls.

Could you contact your son and tell him to call me by Monday, or I am going to begin eviction proceedings and turn his debt over to a collection agency?"

Anonymous wrote:* Listen

* Be human and share your stories of triumph but also struggle and failure

* Listen

* Love and hug

* Provide unconditional love by telling and showing them that you love them no matter what

* Set boundaries so they know how to treat people (including you) *and* know how others should treat them

* Set them up for success, which might often mean not that you set the bar low so that they "win" but rather tell them that winning really isn't always the most important thing--rather there is great value in trying hard, struggling, and sometimes not making it

* Treat them with respect--their interests, their desires, their questions

* Have fun

This is quite lovely. I like the juxtaposition of unconditional love and setting boundaries. You let them know what the rules are (and enforce them!) but also let them know everyone makes mistakes - including yourself.

Praise the effort, not the outcome - and don't always praise the outcome if it didn't take much effort to achieve. Kids are smart and they know when they've done something good, and when they're just reaping idle praise.

Catch them being good. This might be the best thing DW and I ever did. We notice when they are kind to each other, or help out around the house without being asked, or sit through a long and tiresome family commitment with exemplary behavior. And then we let them know we saw what they did, and that we appreciate it. If we're going to call them out every time they do something wrong, we can certainly let them know when we see them doing something right.

Finally, demonstrate through your actions that they can count on you. I've told my teen S over and over that when he really screws up, that's the time he's least going to want to tell me what's happened, and that's exactly when I can be of the greatest help. Fortunately, he hasn't really screwed up too much yet, but there have been a couple of bumps that he's come to me about, haltingly. In both cases, I held down my natural inclination to yell "You did what!?" and instead thanked him for sharing the information with me, and then got to work with him on finding a solution. It's deepened our trust and mutual respect (and, I believe, love) and made it more likely he'll come to me in the future if/when he truly gets in a jam.

NurtureShock is aimed more at parents of younger kids, but it is an excellent book with a chapter "The Science of Teen Rebellion."

The big surprise from research is that objection to parental authority peaks around age 14 to 15, and that such resistance is slightly stronger at age 11 than 18. By the time the kids are 17 and 18, they have enough autonomy that they don't feel compelled to resist every single parental directive. But the younger kids are desperately trying to forge their own identity, even as they remain completely dependent on their parents. This desire for, but lack of, autonomy results in resentment toward parental authority.

It seems logical that the most selective private schools will probably have the most students accepted to highly selective colleges and universities. These students are getting into STA, or Sidwell, or wherever, in large part because of their high test scores and strong academic aptitude. These attributes will carry over into the college admissions process.

I wonder about whether there's an edge to be gained by being a bigger fish in a smaller pond. At, for example, Sidwell, there are going to be dozens of kids scoring in the 99th percentile on the SAT (which went down to 2290 in 2013) and fighting to be at the top of the class. But a kid with that kind of ability at a less selective/competitive school is going to stand out more, be at the top of the class, get great recommendations, etc. Schools won't admit it, but at a certain point, they're going to cap the number of students they admit from any one school.

I think Potomac is doing a good job of addressing the "sins of the fathers." There's nothing they can do now about what happened in the past - but at least they can investigate, apologize, and make sure it never happens again.

The approach they are taking now is the exact opposite of the cover-up that happened in the past and made such abuse possible. Not sure what else they can do.