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Anonymous wrote:Sorry. You will never convince me (and many American women) that it's OK for a culture to deem that women's heads, hair, eyes, ankles, what have you, should be covered - unless the men in the culture dress similarly. Otherwise it's a sexual double standard. Plain and simple.
And that's OK. You don't have to convince me. You can wear whatever you want and I can think whatever I want about it.
Whoever said I need to convince you of anything? Apparently you know that the there are requirements for modesty upon both men and women. If you actually WANTED to know something rather than be willfully ignorant and just regurgitate what you've been spoon fed about other peoples belief beyond the eye level you would actually be a more substantive individual with a global understanding. I'm free to think whatever I want about you as well.
And by the way, I am an American woman. I just happen to also be Muslim. The two are not mutually exclusive, despite popular opinion.
Dude...I still that way of 45!! LOL. Wish I could turn my period off, that only happened in the Marine Corps where it just simply stopped and it was GREAT!!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think becoming a woman is a process. Menarche is an important milestone on that path.
If, as women, we had celebrations like this regularly, then the young girls WOULDN'T feel mortified. It would be something they look forward to, like birthdays or Christmas. It would be THEIR special day. It would take some of the "ew gross" stigma out of menstruation. We would be reclaiming our respect for this important natural process.
Look, that said, I hate getting my period. It's a messy pain. But maybe we can begin a cultural change, starting with the girls who will someday be wives and mothers. It won't be any less messy and aggravating, but it also won't seem dirty and shameful if we teach them to embrace it.
As is a young boys first wet dream but men don't have puberty parties with bo scented foods and wet dreamed-themed poems.
Men are not struggling against thousands of years of being told that their bodies are dirty, shameful, unnatural, that bearing children in pain is God's punishment, that women are responsible for evil...
Kind of like affirmative action, men don't need wet dream parties because there are plenty of other ways society encourages and validates their maleness.
I disagree. Men have their own issues to deal with. They are expected to be manly, tough, can't show emotion. They can't embrace much more than being "man". I think it's just as hard to raise a strong boy as it is to raise a strong girl. Schools are geared towards females, society doesn't let boys be "babies", girls can show emotion while boys cannot so please don't act like girls are the only ones who have it so bad because their bodies are dirty and shameful. Boys goes through the same stuff.
And some men are doing their own things to reclaim the "softer" side of their personalities. Men's drumming circles/men's circles where they talk about their feelings....
Men have their own issues to deal with. But as long as God is a man and many people say that Genesis is TRUE, I don't think you can really compare men's problems to women's. When I see men wearing burqus and head scarves, I'll grant you that they have the same sexual/body issues as women. That's really waht we are llaking about here.
You know, I think you are EXTREMELY ignorant of Islam with your prior comment. Stop using Muslim women as your whipping stone any time you want to talk about the subjugation of women. I don't care what you THINK you know based on the media, why don't you actually try TALKING to us to find out IF as a whole, we are really "oppressed". Every Muslimah that I know is a ROCK!! and they ROCK, and they ae kind, generous, funny and RULE with their abayas, galabayas, hijabs and actually I have YET to meet ONE woman with a burka because they are only worn in Afghanistan.
a party favor
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fVmp0Njt-no/Taos80UpSzI/AAAAAAAAAM4/Jfgxb5qrnp8/s1600/by-astrobhadauria-ramendra-singh-bhadauria.jpg
Really? That was unkind and unnecessary, you must have had to really search to find that pic. I had a lousy experience with my first period, unfortunately my mom (probably like most moms) didn't do anything to make it better, and already embarrassing. It really colored the way I saw womanhood and I would not want that for any young girl.
We are in a place and time where we have the freedom to define ourselves and our bodies rather than deny.
I gotta tell ya...this is pretty freaking OUTSTANDING. I wish I had girls to do this with. It's lovely, it's honest and it translates the power, the beauty and the nature of women.
Do it!!
Do it!!
Anonymous wrote:
This is the first time Ramadan has fallen during the summer for me, and I have no idea how you fast in such heat! My husband's family is in Egypt, and they are literally sleeping all day and staying up all night to beat the heat. Which they can do because most of the country is Muslim. Here, you obviously can't do that and still work.
hahahahaha... that's soooo funny. This is one Egyptian who hates the heat and LOVES LOVES LOVES the snow!! Yes, the Muslim world accommodates the one who fasts nicely. Day light saving time stops, banking hours change, work hours change, schools and universities refrain from examinations...it's lovely. In Egypt, Ramadan is glorious and wonderful and wrapped with sweetness of remembering God in everything we do.
We do Ramadan big in my house for our children's sake. They start looking forward to it in January LOL, spent the whole day shopping with them yesterday for Iftar groceries and they just sang Ramadan songs the whole time!!!
I love this time of year. It makes every fasting person humble as we reflect on the Majesty of Creation and the Mercy that Allah swt has bestowed on all human beings.
Anonymous wrote:Hope this won't offend anyone...this thread has been so nice. Our nanny is celebrating Ramadan as well this week. Is there anything we can be doing to make her more comfortable while fasting? (we offered her to take vacation this week, but she declined.)
Well, Hello Mrs. 10:11!! That's lovely that you want to make her more comfortable. Ramadan is a month long and won't end until about September 1st. The days this year are extremely long 4:30 am - 9 pm and will get longer in the coming years. We are on a lunar calendar like the Judaic calendar, however, they adjust their calendar by 2 weeks every year which is why the dates stay in about the same range while our go back 2 weeks ever year. The last time it was in the summer was 33 years ago when I was a kid!!
I would suggest that you don't ask her to do anything too much out in the heat, like long walks or activities that are very active with the children just for this month. I mean we drink ALOT of water before dawn and it's never the food it's always the thirst for most folks. But we do manage, and she will as well.
I don't know if she is there late into the evening, but if you can find her some nice sweet dates to break her fast the gesture will be supremely appreciated as dates are the symbol for many of the coming of this month. We wait, everyone of us, eagerly for this month. This is the month where not only the stomach fasts, but the heart, the tongue, the eyes from all things unkind, unchaste, etc.
Since this is a month devoted to pursuit of Almighty God and the soul, vacations are abstained from since they are more about fun than the Divine. It was REALLY sweet that you offered her that. I hope this helps you to understand why she declined.
Ramadan Mubarak Ladies!!!
Suhoor these next coming years will be kind of on the light but substantive side because Fajr is at 4:30 and Maghrib around 9 . The time is so brief that you have barely had time to digest the food in your stomach!!
Egyptian style suhoor...foul, chai, pita bread with a little butter grilled on the stovetop, dates, eggs, and fruit. Honestly, even this morning we could hardly finish the little I prepared.
Iftars are where we shine, my boys TOTALLY get into making special dishes and deserts with me that we leave only for Ramadan.
So glad to see you ladies on this board...quick question...
we are moving into DC next spring. Any ideas what neighborhoods you would recommend and schools?
May this be a month of light for you and may Allah swt accept your fasts, prayers and good deeds. Ameen!
Suhoor these next coming years will be kind of on the light but substantive side because Fajr is at 4:30 and Maghrib around 9 . The time is so brief that you have barely had time to digest the food in your stomach!!
Egyptian style suhoor...foul, chai, pita bread with a little butter grilled on the stovetop, dates, eggs, and fruit. Honestly, even this morning we could hardly finish the little I prepared.
Iftars are where we shine, my boys TOTALLY get into making special dishes and deserts with me that we leave only for Ramadan.
So glad to see you ladies on this board...quick question...
we are moving into DC next spring. Any ideas what neighborhoods you would recommend and schools?
May this be a month of light for you and may Allah swt accept your fasts, prayers and good deeds. Ameen!
Anonymous wrote:csabdalla wrote:Anonymous wrote:csabdalla wrote: I don't get what you're saying about the whole "suspicion" and the "dinner" thing (I've been invited to dinner lots of times in Michigan...). I mean, yes, it's different, but Detroit is not Mars.
tHI!! Well, I mean that agents don't say "I'm an FBI/CIA/NSA Agent/Analyst/etc" in Detroit. Detroit is cosmopolitan to an extent but it's not a government culture where this would be a normal thing to drop on the neighbors and at dinner parties with people not from the IC. This just isn't the place to roll like that openly particularly in certain ethnic or cultural communities.
OK, I get what you're saying.
Girl, please...if you dropped that on an average metro Detroiter and it got passed around SOMEBODY would be looking to hurt you or your kids/family or break into your home because they would think you may have some highly classified material they could sell or leverage. Like I said, this ain't DC.
Anonymous wrote:OP, chill out. And welcome to dcurbanmom.
(How did you find us?)
People have been a little snarky here and there, but really, by dcum standards they've been really, really nice.
We're going through a heat wave today and maybe people were a little bored and tok to some speculating about what the "unable to divulge" job could be -- sorry about that -- but no one intended any harm.
This is an anoymous forum, and even fro post to post, it's anonymous and no way to track who posts what on which thread -- so that does lead to more snarkiness than on your usual forums BUT it also allows people to be blunt and honet, which is teh feedback you have gotten.
If you can have a thick enough skin to ignore the worst, dcum can be a great place. I hope you move here, and I hope you find a great place to live.
Sorry, it's 99/humid here we have a brown out since yesterday morning, kids are whiny and the heat is making me crazy. So yes, I am a little thin skinned today. Will duly chill.
Anonymous wrote:csabdalla wrote: I don't get what you're saying about the whole "suspicion" and the "dinner" thing (I've been invited to dinner lots of times in Michigan...
tHI!! Well, I mean that agents don't say "I'm an FBI/CIA/NSA Agent/Analyst/etc" in Detroit. Detroit is cosmopolitan to an extent but it's not a government culture where this would be a normal thing to drop on the neighbors and at dinner parties with people not from the IC. This just isn't the place to roll like that openly particularly in certain ethnic or cultural communities.
myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself myself
Really? Am I supposed to convince you of my one handed typing ability with a 3 year old on my knee? I've got things to do, I don't have half my life to come back and edit every time I spot a typo or grammatical error, I'm not writing a White paper. You must really inspire those around you and clearly you must have mastered proper use of the word "myself" 8) .
Really? Am I supposed to convince you of my one handed typing ability with a 3 year old on my knee? I've got things to do, I don't have half my life to come back and edit every time I spot a typo or grammatical error, I'm not writing a White paper. You must really inspire those around you and clearly you must have mastered proper use of the word "myself" 8) .
By the way, Fed field offices here in Detroit are generally NOT known to the public nor are their addresses published. Period. You guys just have it different in DC and it's the nature of the place and the large population there that does federal and contract work. You say something like that here in Detroit you might as well dress up in a bright pink tutu with bells on because that's how much you would stick out, it would arouse nothing but attention and suspicion from every civilian around you. It's a different place, thinking and culture. HERE, people would think THREE times before having you over for dinner.
Okay, I came to this board for help and not the snarky comments below. I GREATLY appreciate the generous help that has been given, but I am coming in blind from a very different part of the nation that is weathering the worst the economic crisis.
"I would have to say the "can't comment on" is code for "I don't have a job" or "I haven't finished my background check" - not I work for NSA or CIA. As so many people here work for NSA or CIA and freely comment on it (vs. the work they do for that agency...it's only a person who is new to the area that feels the need to be so hush hush)."
We live in Detroit, it's an intimate city and not a "government community"like DC. You are usually no more that 2-3 degrees of separation of anyone. There are field offices and unless you work for the FDA people DO NOT advertise where they work or what they do, nor are they encouraged to do so. I am completely unfamiliar with Washington culture but where I live people with with certain work deflect direct questions as a rule.
My self and my husband (this should read "My husband and I") are in the same field and where he will be situated is also up in the air and is the reason I just want a feel for the general area so we are able to weed out area's not worth looking at and focus on what is.
As for my math skills...
"OP, hopefully you are not working for Treasury because you need some help with your math skills. You are willing to pay $3,200 in rent, PLUS childcare on a 125K Dual HHI?"
They are pretty good considering we own little to NO debt short of some student loans. Are cars are paid for, as well as every piece of lovely furniture, we have no credit card bills and live within our means.
I had NO idea childcare there is more than I pay for one child's monthly tuition at an elite private school here. $125 - 140K in Detroit and you live pretty damn good. But it's still Michigan and it's time to move on.
"I would have to say the "can't comment on" is code for "I don't have a job" or "I haven't finished my background check" - not I work for NSA or CIA. As so many people here work for NSA or CIA and freely comment on it (vs. the work they do for that agency...it's only a person who is new to the area that feels the need to be so hush hush)."
We live in Detroit, it's an intimate city and not a "government community"like DC. You are usually no more that 2-3 degrees of separation of anyone. There are field offices and unless you work for the FDA people DO NOT advertise where they work or what they do, nor are they encouraged to do so. I am completely unfamiliar with Washington culture but where I live people with with certain work deflect direct questions as a rule.
My self and my husband (this should read "My husband and I") are in the same field and where he will be situated is also up in the air and is the reason I just want a feel for the general area so we are able to weed out area's not worth looking at and focus on what is.
As for my math skills...
"OP, hopefully you are not working for Treasury because you need some help with your math skills. You are willing to pay $3,200 in rent, PLUS childcare on a 125K Dual HHI?"
They are pretty good considering we own little to NO debt short of some student loans. Are cars are paid for, as well as every piece of lovely furniture, we have no credit card bills and live within our means.
I had NO idea childcare there is more than I pay for one child's monthly tuition at an elite private school here. $125 - 140K in Detroit and you live pretty damn good. But it's still Michigan and it's time to move on.
Forgive me folks, I can't really comment on which Fed agency and I won't know the location specifics until several months from now. My nature is to scout everything out well ahead of time and position myself so that at least one of us knows what we are walking into. My desire to leave Detroit is much greater than my husband, and of course I would never be so rude as to tell him the real reason why, so I am the one who is ultimately going to makes things happen and steer the ship in this particular instance.
We have opportunities to go to other cities around the nation, however for what we will be doing DC is the better place, than say Atlanta or Seattle or Chicago. Doing the math, I think we can reasonable be able to afford something up to $3250 in rent - that just sounds crazy to me when that would be a hefty mortgage most places. but as they say "it is what it is". It just has to have great schools, i can live without a lot but I won't sacrifice the quality of education for my kids.
When you guys talk about commuting on the train how long does it literally take you to get to and from work> I mean you park your car, get on a train, get off and then still have to walk long distances or get on a bus? Is that how you do it there? Detroit is the Motor City after all so we drive everywhere and park.
We have opportunities to go to other cities around the nation, however for what we will be doing DC is the better place, than say Atlanta or Seattle or Chicago. Doing the math, I think we can reasonable be able to afford something up to $3250 in rent - that just sounds crazy to me when that would be a hefty mortgage most places. but as they say "it is what it is". It just has to have great schools, i can live without a lot but I won't sacrifice the quality of education for my kids.
When you guys talk about commuting on the train how long does it literally take you to get to and from work> I mean you park your car, get on a train, get off and then still have to walk long distances or get on a bus? Is that how you do it there? Detroit is the Motor City after all so we drive everywhere and park.