Okay, for the PP who said I should stay in Detroit and suck it up with the inlaws. I have sucked it up with the inlays for more than 10 years, I live with them and live within a 1 mile radius of the rest. My husband is the youngest but the go-to guy for his whole family and I am S I C K TO D E A T H of it. At this point, moving to the other side of town isn't far enough. I need to move us somewhere that's more than just a simple car ride away, not just for me but so they all can cut the damn umbilical cord and his focus can be just on our little family. THAT'S why we are not staying or else I feel like I will truly go mad. The only thing that's keeping me going is finishing up this graduate program next May and MOVING.

Okay, if I gave up the yard for a short commute would that be better? These stories of monster traffic i believe and experienced when we visited friends in Fairfax, VA. The only thing is I do NOT want to live in an apartment with 2 young boys. Know what I mean?

Honestly folks, after what I have read so far on simply the cost of housing and rental for anything decent if I had half a brain I would stay in Detroit with a big house, in ground pool, and private school money if I wasn't desperate to escape my DH's family. They're good folks but really demanding and it's all about them ALL THE TIME and I need to pull us out of here before I go kazoo.

Thank you all for the wonderful advice and directions. I must admit I am really shell shocked by the prices I am seeing. One person wrote that there are preschools that the fed agencies provide....can anyone speak on that? I know we have one up here at the Army Tank Command where my father worked. Heard it was great.

Okay folks, I'm from Detroit. Here, we live in a GORGEOUS neighborhood with homes 3000 sq ft + that have Terrazzo tiles, leaded glass windows, plaster and woodwork that you will never find anymore and they go for under $250K, these days. BUT people pay through the nose for taxes $14 K - $25 K and all the neighborhood kids are in elite private schools because DPS is not an option. I DO NOT expect to have these perks in DC.

My DH and I will be working for a specific fed agency, so I am assuming the location will be DC proper. I am guessing at the salary, it may very well be more than that. I would love to rent a house with a yard, and my husband and I don't want to commute more than 30 min if at all possible since we have young kids and I don't want them in aftercare until 6 pm. I am thinking rental around $2500, although that sounds crazy to my Detroit ears where a fantastic 2000 sq ft home might rent in the $1500 range.

SOMEBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR PRESCHOOL SYSTEM DOWN THERE. Everyone keeps writing that I need to get on that now. I haven't had to really deal with that because my kids attend private school together and there is always an Early School with pre - K.

Wish list

Great schools
short commute
a yard
pedestrian community