Is this money well spent?

[Anonymous]

DS 6 is starting 1st grade this week. I’m solo parenting while DH is deployed and honestly do most of the parenting labor since even when he’s here DH starts work early and gets home late.

With school starting Monday, someone recommended a “morning nanny” to me who needs hours from 7-9 am. This would be $25/hour. I don’t need this service because my son is pretty reliable in the morning, he gets up without a problem, gets dressed without a problem, and usually has a very simple breakfast of a muffin and fruit or something like that. The bus stop is a very quick walk, and school is a five minute drive or less, so it’s not a hardship for me to take him.

However, I asked this person if she would also clean. I told her I needed help with washing the dishes from the night before, cleaning up the area around where my son eats, wiping down the powder room daily, doing our daily laundry including putting it away, vacuuming, and also properly cleaning the bathrooms once a week or so. She came over the other day for a trial run. From 7 to 8:40 in the morning (8:40 would be the time to leave for school), she was able to make breakfast for DS and accomplish all of these things, and that is with the house being a bit messy (full dishwasher, dishes in the sink, A few loads of laundry that needed to be washed and put away). I asked her to let me know how much she’s charge to do all of this, and I think she’ll come back with $30/hour on the high end.

All in all this service will run me $300 weekly. We make enough money that we can max out our retirement and contribute to a college fund and have a few extras, But we certainly can’t throw away $1200 a month. We have to be mindful about where it’s coming from and what we are going to cut. However, I think I’ll be getting freedom from housework, which just sounds so amazing to me. Do you think it’s worth it to hire this person?

Well I don’t need a morning nanny to take care of my son, the idea that I could start my workday by taking a not rushed shower, with my son eating a proper breakfast, with not having to worry about getting him to school on time, and with the house being clean and laundry done and put away well that… I mean that sounds amazing.

[Anonymous]

I think I would use the money for things you *do* feel like you need help with. If not mornings, do you need to hire a regular sitter so you can see friends once a week, go to the gym, etc. Or just a once a week cleaner?

[Anonymous]

That sounds amazing. Don’t forget you have to pay taxes.

[Anonymous]

What you are looking for is a housekeeper. Hire a weekly housekeeper but it will probably cost the same.

[Anonymous]

It sounds really great but it doesn't sound like a longterm expense you can afford (based on your own feelings, not my perception of what you can afford).

I would instead invest in:

- Hiring an organizer to come and organize your kitchen and closets and set you up for some systems for easier cleaning and straightening. A few thousand as a one time cost.
- Hire a weekly or twice-monthly cleaner.
- Look into other ways to help you keep yourself sane while solo parenting, like meal kits.

I think in the long run these are better investments because they are aimed at just helping your life run more smoothly in general, instead of paying someone to come every day and essentially do triage. And the organizing is a one time cost and the benefits can be really long lasting, while the cleaning is an investment in your home as well as a time-saver -- a good way to keep your home in good condition. The meal kits are more of a splurge, but also temporary -- you can stop them whenever you don't need them and they are for less of a commitment (and cost) than hiring a daily nanny/housekeeper.

[Anonymous]

For that budget I would just get an au pair, especially given a deployed husband.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a huge waste of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For that budget I would just get an au pair, especially given a deployed husband.

An au pair is over 22k/year isn’t it?

[Anonymous]

So, here's my suggestions:
Pay for 4-5 hours per week. During that time, have the housekeeper (and make it clear it's a light housekeeping position) do the following:
1. Wash/dry/fold laundry (putting it away will take you and DS6 5 minutes)
2. Make mini frittatas or mini quiches (they can be put in the fridge for Mon-wed, freezer for thurs-sun, warmed up in the microwave)
3. Batch prep/cook dinners so that you pull one out of the freezer and pop it into the oven/crock pot/microwave.
4. Clean the bathrooms (toilets, sinks, mirrors, floors).
5. Vacuum high traffic areas.

At 6, your son is old enough to learn to put away folded clothes, microwave a prepared breakfast and then clean up after himself (including the floor!), empty the dishwasher and load the dishwasher. Give him the tools to be successful by showing him how and having him show you, then give him a morning checklist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, here's my suggestions:
Pay for 4-5 hours per week. During that time, have the housekeeper (and make it clear it's a light housekeeping position) do the following:
1. Wash/dry/fold laundry (putting it away will take you and DS6 5 minutes)
2. Make mini frittatas or mini quiches (they can be put in the fridge for Mon-wed, freezer for thurs-sun, warmed up in the microwave)
3. Batch prep/cook dinners so that you pull one out of the freezer and pop it into the oven/crock pot/microwave.
4. Clean the bathrooms (toilets, sinks, mirrors, floors).
5. Vacuum high traffic areas.

At 6, your son is old enough to learn to put away folded clothes, microwave a prepared breakfast and then clean up after himself (including the floor!), empty the dishwasher and load the dishwasher. Give him the tools to be successful by showing him how and having him show you, then give him a morning checklist.

Are you saying that the person should be able to do all the above in 5 hours every week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, here's my suggestions:
Pay for 4-5 hours per week. During that time, have the housekeeper (and make it clear it's a light housekeeping position) do the following:
1. Wash/dry/fold laundry (putting it away will take you and DS6 5 minutes)
2. Make mini frittatas or mini quiches (they can be put in the fridge for Mon-wed, freezer for thurs-sun, warmed up in the microwave)
3. Batch prep/cook dinners so that you pull one out of the freezer and pop it into the oven/crock pot/microwave.
4. Clean the bathrooms (toilets, sinks, mirrors, floors).
5. Vacuum high traffic areas.

At 6, your son is old enough to learn to put away folded clothes, microwave a prepared breakfast and then clean up after himself (including the floor!), empty the dishwasher and load the dishwasher. Give him the tools to be successful by showing him how and having him show you, then give him a morning checklist.

Are you saying that the person should be able to do all the above in 5 hours every week?

Why not? 2-3 loads of laundry (if 3, they'll have to fold their own)
One batch of frittatas takes all of 15 minutes to whip up, and you can easily make 2 dinners while the frittatas bake
Bathrooms take all of 15 minutes each for sink, toilet, mirror and floor unless they're huge or disgusting (and therefore not light cleaning)
and vacuuming takes all of 15 minutes max per room

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, here's my suggestions:
Pay for 4-5 hours per week. During that time, have the housekeeper (and make it clear it's a light housekeeping position) do the following:
1. Wash/dry/fold laundry (putting it away will take you and DS6 5 minutes)
2. Make mini frittatas or mini quiches (they can be put in the fridge for Mon-wed, freezer for thurs-sun, warmed up in the microwave)
3. Batch prep/cook dinners so that you pull one out of the freezer and pop it into the oven/crock pot/microwave.
4. Clean the bathrooms (toilets, sinks, mirrors, floors).
5. Vacuum high traffic areas.

At 6, your son is old enough to learn to put away folded clothes, microwave a prepared breakfast and then clean up after himself (including the floor!), empty the dishwasher and load the dishwasher. Give him the tools to be successful by showing him how and having him show you, then give him a morning checklist.

Are you saying that the person should be able to do all the above in 5 hours every week?

Why not? 2-3 loads of laundry (if 3, they'll have to fold their own)
One batch of frittatas takes all of 15 minutes to whip up, and you can easily make 2 dinners while the frittatas bake
Bathrooms take all of 15 minutes each for sink, toilet, mirror and floor unless they're huge or disgusting (and therefore not light cleaning)
and vacuuming takes all of 15 minutes max per room

NP. This is a lot of multitasking and doesn't seem practical in the timeframe. Don't forget the time it will take to do the dishes and clean up the kitchen after all the bulk dinner cooking and frittata whipping. I don't know about OP, but my microwave is over 5' above the floor and my 5.5 year old can't reach it. Same with the upper cabinets where we keep the dishes. My son couldn't do this on his own yet. Plus it sounds like OP would rather have the help daily because there's mess to clean up daily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, here's my suggestions:
Pay for 4-5 hours per week. During that time, have the housekeeper (and make it clear it's a light housekeeping position) do the following:
1. Wash/dry/fold laundry (putting it away will take you and DS6 5 minutes)
2. Make mini frittatas or mini quiches (they can be put in the fridge for Mon-wed, freezer for thurs-sun, warmed up in the microwave)
3. Batch prep/cook dinners so that you pull one out of the freezer and pop it into the oven/crock pot/microwave.
4. Clean the bathrooms (toilets, sinks, mirrors, floors).
5. Vacuum high traffic areas.

At 6, your son is old enough to learn to put away folded clothes, microwave a prepared breakfast and then clean up after himself (including the floor!), empty the dishwasher and load the dishwasher. Give him the tools to be successful by showing him how and having him show you, then give him a morning checklist.

Are you saying that the person should be able to do all the above in 5 hours every week?

Why not? 2-3 loads of laundry (if 3, they'll have to fold their own)
One batch of frittatas takes all of 15 minutes to whip up, and you can easily make 2 dinners while the frittatas bake
Bathrooms take all of 15 minutes each for sink, toilet, mirror and floor unless they're huge or disgusting (and therefore not light cleaning)
and vacuuming takes all of 15 minutes max per room

Stop being cheap. No one cleans a bathroom in 15 minutes. Least of all you. If you do, your house is filthy I guarantee it. Scrubbing, rinsing and wiping down a shower/tub combo well should take 10-12 by itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, here's my suggestions:
Pay for 4-5 hours per week. During that time, have the housekeeper (and make it clear it's a light housekeeping position) do the following:
1. Wash/dry/fold laundry (putting it away will take you and DS6 5 minutes)
2. Make mini frittatas or mini quiches (they can be put in the fridge for Mon-wed, freezer for thurs-sun, warmed up in the microwave)
3. Batch prep/cook dinners so that you pull one out of the freezer and pop it into the oven/crock pot/microwave.
4. Clean the bathrooms (toilets, sinks, mirrors, floors).
5. Vacuum high traffic areas.

At 6, your son is old enough to learn to put away folded clothes, microwave a prepared breakfast and then clean up after himself (including the floor!), empty the dishwasher and load the dishwasher. Give him the tools to be successful by showing him how and having him show you, then give him a morning checklist.

Are you saying that the person should be able to do all the above in 5 hours every week?

Why not? 2-3 loads of laundry (if 3, they'll have to fold their own)
One batch of frittatas takes all of 15 minutes to whip up, and you can easily make 2 dinners while the frittatas bake
Bathrooms take all of 15 minutes each for sink, toilet, mirror and floor unless they're huge or disgusting (and therefore not light cleaning)
and vacuuming takes all of 15 minutes max per room

Stop being cheap. No one cleans a bathroom in 15 minutes. Least of all you. If you do, your house is filthy I guarantee it. Scrubbing, rinsing and wiping down a shower/tub combo well should take 10-12 by itself.

10-12 HOURS??

[Anonymous]

How many dishes and laundry do you have???

I assume it's just the kid and you?

When dh is gone, I feel like my household work is cut by 2/3, don't you?