Beloved father died suddenly; overwhelmed with grief but must keep functioning

[Anonymous]

For those who have lost a parent as an adult, how do you keep on functioning and doing everything you must do in the face of overwhelming grief? My father died last week very suddenly and unexpectedly, totally out of the blue, and not only am I trying to handle his estate and tie up all lose ends, but I still must do my full time job and take care of my family, tween, etc. And I am just drowning in terrible sadness.

How do I get through this? Spouse is very helpful, but so many things must be done only by me.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, op. Sending you a virtual hug.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, op. I think that that’s like saying you need to keep functioning with influenza or horrible food poisoning-sometimes you just can’t. What would you do if you were physically incapacitated? It’s time to call in those resources! I know that’s easier said than done, of course. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry for your loss.

Can you take some tome off work to gather yourself? Do you have any siblings or a spouse that can give you emotional support?

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Does your employer have bereavement leave? Or can you put in for a few days off to take care of some of the things and give yourself a little time before you have to function at work?

[Anonymous]

You actually don’t have to do everything.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, op. These things take time. I had very little ones when my dad died. I used to cry in the shower because it was the only time I was alone. Pp mentioned leave from work. Any chance you can take some time off each week to handle estate issues? It just sucks, all of it. Big hugs.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am very sorry for your loss. Just give yourself grace on the hard days and do what you can on the good days. It will get better but it takes time. You have to just remind yourself how lucky you were to have him as your father. And please know he is always with you even now.

FWIW, I talk to my dad out loud all the time and I dream about him often and am comforted by both.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry for your loss. May God give you the strength to face this sad time.

[Anonymous]

This happened to my mother when I was a baby. She has told me that she cried and cried every day, it was so painful for her. A sweet older neighbor stepped in and helped her by taking the baby (me) off her hands for a few hours here and there, for which she was very grateful.

All of this just to say, this is an extremely difficult time for you. Don’t try to do everything at once and give yourself time to just sit and remember your dad and cry when you need to. Grieving is hard, but the only way to get through it is to get through it, unfortunately.

Much comfort and strength to you and your family.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry for your pain and loss. Just keep breathing and taking it one step at a time. I had a newborn when my father died. I had no choice but to function. I’m 6 years out and I still tear up. I do talk to him a lot. Just focus on one step at a time, it’s a terrible club to belong to…

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry for your loss. My dad got sick unexpectedly. He was healthy one day then in the hospital and died with in one week. It is a shock. Be kind and take care of yourself and it sucks. When a good friend asks how you are - be real it’s okay to sa your mad, sad or exhausted. am sorry.
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are trying to do *way* too much. Right now. "Trying to handle his estate and tie up all lose ends ..." Very little, or none of this that has to be done now. By you. Only you. Now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are trying to do *way* too much. Right now. "Trying to handle his estate and tie up all lose ends ..." Very little, or none of this that has to be done now. By you. Only you. Now.

This, OP. Give yourself some time to grieve before you worry about that. It can be a long process.

I’m sorry about your dad.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry OP.

I am just a few weeks out from losing my mom and what I am learning is that it all takes time. It takes time to deal with the loss, it takes time to deal with the minutia of closing out accounts etc..., it just all takes time and you can allow that.

It is ok if it takes you a few months to tie up the loose ends. Just do what you and take it one day at a time. Be sure to prioritize what you need to feel ok, mourn, recover, get time w/ your family and/or friends, etc... No one else will die if some paperwork languishes so prioritize your wellbeing.

My deepest condolences.