Failed IVF and FET

Anonymous
Just got the news of my failed FET, had done an IVF earlier. Not sure what's going to be the next best option - IUI or another IVF cycle.
While I wait to consult the doctor, I'd love to hear of similar experiences and success stories if you can share. For me age is the only obvious reason I know of, I am 42. We have been trying the 'natural' way but decided to go for IVF since March this year.
Feeling pretty disheartened
Anonymous
Is this your first? How many embryos do you have?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Just got the news of my failed FET, had done an IVF earlier. Not sure what's going to be the next best option - IUI or another IVF cycle.
While I wait to consult the doctor, I'd love to hear of similar experiences and success stories if you can share. For me age is the only obvious reason I know of, I am 42. We have been trying the 'natural' way but decided to go for IVF since March this year.
Feeling pretty disheartened


What clinic are you at? Was the embryo tested?
Anonymous
I am really sorry. It’s such a big step to move to IVF and very easy to think that it will work on the first try, and sadly for so many couples it just does not. I was one of those so I get it.

I would definitely continue IVF. I would absolutely not revert to IUI. That’s like a step back to something that’s not as effective and likely to be a waste of time and money and emotional expense.

I did two egg retrieval cycles and three transfers (two FETs after my first IVF cycle and then a fresh transfer after my second egg retrieval). I had success with the fresh, conceiving at age 38 (unexplained infertility).

One thing I kept in mind is that for many women and couples, IVF is a numbers game. The percentage chance of success will continue to go up with each round, generally up to the third round when it levels off. Our doctor did not assign an actual percentage chance of it working for us, but thought we had good ads and we’re good candidates. When my first two transfers failed and I realized I would have to go through another full egg retrieval and subsequent transfers, I was really low and upset, but I also felt optimistic that I was just on the wrong side of the success percentage. If that makes any sense… Where you’re at, talk to your doctor about protocol, talk to your partner if you have one, regroup and go from there. Good luck! This stuff is so hard. Big virtual hug to you!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Is this your first? How many embryos do you have?


First IVF yes. We had 3 embryos transferred the first round, and one embryo was transferred through FET.

We have a 5 year old kid.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got the news of my failed FET, had done an IVF earlier. Not sure what's going to be the next best option - IUI or another IVF cycle.
While I wait to consult the doctor, I'd love to hear of similar experiences and success stories if you can share. For me age is the only obvious reason I know of, I am 42. We have been trying the 'natural' way but decided to go for IVF since March this year.
Feeling pretty disheartened


What clinic are you at? Was the embryo tested?



SGF. Yes, they were tested, and apparently were of "best grade": A/A+
We were told our numbers looked great for my age.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is this your first? How many embryos do you have?


First IVF yes. We had 3 embryos transferred the first round, and one embryo was transferred through FET.

We have a 5 year old kid.


Why did they transfer 3 embryos together?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am really sorry. It’s such a big step to move to IVF and very easy to think that it will work on the first try, and sadly for so many couples it just does not. I was one of those so I get it.

I would definitely continue IVF. I would absolutely not revert to IUI. That’s like a step back to something that’s not as effective and likely to be a waste of time and money and emotional expense.

I did two egg retrieval cycles and three transfers (two FETs after my first IVF cycle and then a fresh transfer after my second egg retrieval). I had success with the fresh, conceiving at age 38 (unexplained infertility).

One thing I kept in mind is that for many women and couples, IVF is a numbers game. The percentage chance of success will continue to go up with each round, generally up to the third round when it levels off. Our doctor did not assign an actual percentage chance of it working for us, but thought we had good ads and we’re good candidates. When my first two transfers failed and I realized I would have to go through another full egg retrieval and subsequent transfers, I was really low and upset, but I also felt optimistic that I was just on the wrong side of the success percentage. If that makes any sense… Where you’re at, talk to your doctor about protocol, talk to your partner if you have one, regroup and go from there. Good luck! This stuff is so hard. Big virtual hug to you!


Oh thank you! <3 For your kind words and sharing important info. Really, your words just made me feel so much better!

Since this is our first cycle, and everything seemed "great" from the get-go, it was a disheartening that it did not work out. We'll see what the doctor has to say, and thanks for the pointer about IUI.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is this your first? How many embryos do you have?


First IVF yes. We had 3 embryos transferred the first round, and one embryo was transferred through FET.

We have a 5 year old kid.


Why did they transfer 3 embryos together?



To increase chances of implantation, that's what we were told. How many are usually transferred?
Anonymous
^ Totally normal at your age. I transferred two each time when was in my 30s.
Anonymous
I’m so sorry. I’d keep going. PGT-A would probably improve the odds of a given transfer working, but it’s also possible you wouldn’t get any normals at your age and I know SGF will only transfer normals. We know that mosaics and even abnormals lead to healthy babies but the odds are a lot lower. I’d probably do one more round and not test if I were you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is this your first? How many embryos do you have?


First IVF yes. We had 3 embryos transferred the first round, and one embryo was transferred through FET.

We have a 5 year old kid.


Why did they transfer 3 embryos together?



To increase chances of implantation, that's what we were told. How many are usually transferred?


I’ve never heard of more than 2
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is this your first? How many embryos do you have?


First IVF yes. We had 3 embryos transferred the first round, and one embryo was transferred through FET.

We have a 5 year old kid.


Why did they transfer 3 embryos together?



To increase chances of implantation, that's what we were told. How many are usually transferred?


I’ve never heard of more than 2


I have. It's fine. It's done in cases with a low chance of success. Don't worry about it being more than 2. IVF fails. And as someone with many failed IVFs under the belt, it's painful and I'm sorry you are going through this. It may pay to get a second opinion elsewhere. They may recommend further testing or a different protocol. I wouldn't go back to IUI, because it has a much lower success rate.
Anonymous
If I were you, I'd take it one step at a time and then reevaluate. If I got 3 normal embryos at age 42 I'd say try another round if you have the resources. Tested vs. Untested after 40 is a controversial topic and there are threads on this on this forum. SGF pushes for tested but there is a school of thought (Dr. Davis at Cornell) that believes in untested for older women like us in our 40s. IUIs have a really low success rate for our age and are just a waste of time in my opinion. Best of luck!
Anonymous
Ugh, I am sorry to hear of your difficulties. It is really hard. We are also at SGF for secondary infertility and were told everything looked good and we were great candidates! Doing shared risk and have two rounds of IVF under our belt so far with no viable embryos. Doctor says that sometimes it just doesn't work out and there isn't a reason why (other than age - I am 40), which isn't what you want to hear, I am sure, but it may be comforting to know you aren't alone. Thinking of you.
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