Do you think kids who are better looking are treated better by their parents?

[Anonymous]

My DD is quite cute (if I do say so myself) and we shower her with attention, buy nice clothes for her, send her to private school, etc.

OTOH, my SIL’s DD is not very cute (SIL is good-looking and has expressed disappointment in her DD’s looks over the years), and her parents don’t give her much attention or spend much money on her clothes or schooling/activities, even though they are likely richer than us. My niece acts out/throws tantrums to get attention, though she is naturally more athletic and quite possibly smarter than my DD.

[Anonymous]

That’s a weird leap to make from those two data points.

[Anonymous]

No. Most parents think their kids are beautiful even when they’re not.

That said, I feel so sorry for your niece. She has horrible parents.

[Anonymous]

Easier to make this argument within a family rather than across families.

In general, this is probably the case though an agreeable personality also goes far.

[Anonymous]

No. Your in laws just sound like crappy parents. They would likely be crappy parents to a beautiful child as well.

[Anonymous]

This thread signals a return to classic DCUM days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Easier to make this argument within a family rather than across families.

In general, this is probably the case though an agreeable personality also goes far.

I'm nicer to my less cute kid because he's nicer to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Most parents think their kids are beautiful even when they’re not.

That said, I feel so sorry for your niece. She has horrible parents.

My mom was obsessed with my appearance in negative ways (ex. I had too much acne, was too hairy, was too short etc). I’m torn over how I feel about that in hindsight. On one hand it made me care about my appearance, but it was really annoying.

[Anonymous]

You wouldn’t do all that for a less cute kid? Sure. And you’re obviously biased about your own kids cuteness, most parents are.

[Anonymous]

Cute kids change and become ugly teenagers and adults. Two ugly parents might have cute kids, but will likely have ugly adult kids.

When little, all you look at is the face and small features. However, being tallish, slender with big eyes and big lips is considered (at least for women) universally attractive.

I have two girls and treat them the same. DD1 is tall, with long lean legs and arms. She has my DH’s family body. DH’s sisters are tall, slender and beautiful. DD also has big eyes, big mouth, but at 8 she is “less” pretty than DD2.

DD2 is 6 (so still young). She has a very pretty face with gorgeous eyes, full lips, small nose, blonde hair, etc. However, she took after me and she is average height and stalkier than her sister. She is thin, but her legs and arms are thicker and shorter.

DD2 is prettier now, but in 15 years I think DD1 might be more attractive.

All of this to say that thinking your kid is beautiful/ugly now means nothing because they will change A LOT and other things (like their body) will become more important

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cute kids change and become ugly teenagers and adults. Two ugly parents might have cute kids, but will likely have ugly adult kids.

When little, all you look at is the face and small features. However, being tallish, slender with big eyes and big lips is considered (at least for women) universally attractive.

I have two girls and treat them the same. DD1 is tall, with long lean legs and arms. She has my DH’s family body. DH’s sisters are tall, slender and beautiful. DD also has big eyes, big mouth, but at 8 she is “less” pretty than DD2.

DD2 is 6 (so still young). She has a very pretty face with gorgeous eyes, full lips, small nose, blonde hair, etc. However, she took after me and she is average height and stalkier than her sister. She is thin, but her legs and arms are thicker and shorter.

DD2 is prettier now, but in 15 years I think DD1 might be more attractive.

All of this to say that thinking your kid is beautiful/ugly now means nothing because they will change A LOT and other things (like their body) will become more important

you are weirdly confident in your ability to predict your own kids' appearances. this, despite claiming that they will change a lot. ugly parents have beautiful kids all the time. take a look at models and actresses and you will see many average or bellow average parents. conversely, many celebs have average looking kids. beauty is complicated and very small changes make a big difference. also cute kids rarely become ugly adults - often, they will be merely average or above average but not stunning, however, ugly adults were rarely cute kids.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids. My middle child is probably the least good looking but has the best personality. He is my favorite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You wouldn’t do all that for a less cute kid? Sure. And you’re obviously biased about your own kids cuteness, most parents are.

MTE.

OP sounds like a troll.

[Anonymous]

I was the best looking one in my immediate family and because I stuck out, my parents targeted me. They said I was ugly and unlovable. They constantly made fun of my looks and at the same time pressured me to be pretty because I want smart enough to make it on my looks.

I went on to be a teen model, which allowed me financial freedom to get away from my parents. And made me realize i was objectively good looking and what else did my parents lie about... hey I was smart too. But obviously modeling is a completely predatory industry that can destroy people without confidence and rock solid, supportive family structures.

I took the money modeling and put myself through school. I'm a lawyer now, but what a mindfunk detour for 15 years of my life.

[Anonymous]

I was really overweight, awkward and ugly as a child. I can telling you without doubt or hesitation that my parents favored my popular preppy brother and never let me forget that I was fat and that my appearance "needed help".