Guys who hang around lots of ladies

[Anonymous]

Ok, so I have a pattern I am trying to uncover and break.
I often date men who are frequently hanging around lots of women. Not like thirsty women- but still, lots of women.

What does this pattern say about me, them, or nothing at all.

[Anonymous]

Are these men in women-friendly professions? Or do you mean they go out of their way to have a lot of women friends?
I am friends with a man who naturally gravitates towards socializing with women. He's married with kids. I think it takes all kinds to make a world, OP.

[Anonymous]

The men I have dated with lots of girlfriends have not been great in relationships. I was cheated on with those friends.

My husband has zero girlfriends, but plenty of female colleagues who he is friendly with. He is also close with his sister.

Take what you will from that!

[Anonymous]

I agree it depends. Is it because he is an extrovert and they have always been platonic? Are they exes? I dated a guy with a lot of female friends. Most were platonic, but he ended up with so many because he was always trying to date and cheat on all his partners, so he met a lot of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are these men in women-friendly professions? Or do you mean they go out of their way to have a lot of women friends?
I am friends with a man who naturally gravitates towards socializing with women. He's married with kids. I think it takes all kinds to make a world, OP.

Good distinction. I guess my point is that I will, obviously introduce my friends to this person they when things end the ladies will be like 'we miss Larlo'. And I just never see this happening to anyone else.
It just makes the breakup that much more difficult. In law school, I dated a guy who, after we broke up still wanted to come to my house- with a bunch of ladies to watch a weekly TV show. These ladies were married or otherwise not interested. But I just keep going into the same patterns and its confusing.

[Anonymous]

^^ I'll add- then i see my female friends SO and those dudes are not trying to come to American Idol night or an all laides happy hour.

[Anonymous]

I'm a guy with lots of female friends and very few female friends. I find many (not all) men difficult to socialize with, and just click better with women. I often end up better friends with my wife's female friends than she does, but I've never cheated on her with any of them.

[Anonymous]

*very few MALE friends obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy with lots of female friends and very few female friends. I find many (not all) men difficult to socialize with, and just click better with women. I often end up better friends with my wife's female friends than she does, but I've never cheated on her with any of them.

not being snarky- but have you cheated on her with someone else?

I guess that men who socialize a lot with ladies are constantly putting out feelers to see who might be interested. And then, because of my own insecurities and I respond to those signals (instead of waiting for someone who is ACTUALLY interested in me, vs. just interested in female attention) so we date and then the cycle repeats.

[Anonymous]

** my guess is that men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy with lots of female friends and very few female friends. I find many (not all) men difficult to socialize with, and just click better with women. I often end up better friends with my wife's female friends than she does, but I've never cheated on her with any of them.

not being snarky- but have you cheated on her with someone else?

I guess that men who socialize a lot with ladies are constantly putting out feelers to see who might be interested. And then, because of my own insecurities and I respond to those signals (instead of waiting for someone who is ACTUALLY interested in me, vs. just interested in female attention) so we date and then the cycle repeats.

No, I've never cheated on her with anyone. I just don't really like men; there's often an undercurrent of aggression in a lot of male social relationships, half of it is built around jokes I'm not sure how to respond to. I find women much easier to relate to, and I also tend to find they have more interesting internal lives. This might have started as looking for women to date, like in high school (I definitely befriended women I was interested in then, although it was never all of my female friends), but at this point I've been married for decades and I'm not looking for dates, I'm looking for friends who don't stress me out and they're mostly women.

[Anonymous]

Got it! Thanks for sharing your perspective!

[Anonymous]

If the guy is attached, as in has a GF or wife, and he is not flirting with all those women he hangs around with I'd say it indicates he's a guy who really likes women. That's a good thing. Some guys do not really like women even though they want one of their own so watch out for those guys.

[Anonymous]

Why would you want to break this pattern? If he adores his sister, respects his female boss, cooperates with and doesn't patronize his female subordinates and colleagues, and is civil and supportive with a small number of exes, I'd say he's a keeper! If he's slept with a lot of women, maybe not.

[Anonymous]

Not sure about your situation OP, but the men I know who tend to frequently be the sole male out with lots of females have ISSUES. Not necessarily cheating, all of them have either extremely boundary challenged, over-bearing moms but some of them don't see it. I think there's also something going on when lots of women friend-zone these guys. It's the whole veneer of being a "nice guy" but not really being a great guy to date or marry and their female friends pick up on this (subconsciously?) and aren't attracted to them. I say this as someone who's been friends with these types, but that's a red flag for me and I would never date someone who frequently hangs out with only women.