Guys who hang around lots of ladies

[Anonymous]

I've dated a couple guys like that and they were bad news. Some men get off on getting attention from women - it's like an ego feed. And some use their pool of friends as people to date or cheat with. It's not a dynamic I feel comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure about your situation OP, but the men I know who tend to frequently be the sole male out with lots of females have ISSUES. Not necessarily cheating, all of them have either extremely boundary challenged, over-bearing moms but some of them don't see it. I think there's also something going on when lots of women friend-zone these guys. It's the whole veneer of being a "nice guy" but not really being a great guy to date or marry and their female friends pick up on this (subconsciously?) and aren't attracted to them. I say this as someone who's been friends with these types, but that's a red flag for me and I would never date someone who frequently hangs out with only women.

Nit sure why but I immediately thought of a typical (East) Asian man

[Anonymous]

OP grow up, men and women have friends of all sex and race.

[Anonymous]

DH is like that. He is closer at almost all of my friends than me with a couple of exceptions.

Zero flirting and no affairs at all. He seems like a magnet for these women. He became such good friends with a lot of DS's friends mom's. Starting from Grade 1. Teachers love him and 4th grade teacher told me how lucky I was to have such an involved dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy with lots of female friends and very few female friends. I find many (not all) men difficult to socialize with, and just click better with women. I often end up better friends with my wife's female friends than she does, but I've never cheated on her with any of them.

not being snarky- but have you cheated on her with someone else?

I guess that men who socialize a lot with ladies are constantly putting out feelers to see who might be interested. And then, because of my own insecurities and I respond to those signals (instead of waiting for someone who is ACTUALLY interested in me, vs. just interested in female attention) so we date and then the cycle repeats.

No, I've never cheated on her with anyone. I just don't really like men; there's often an undercurrent of aggression in a lot of male social relationships, half of it is built around jokes I'm not sure how to respond to. I find women much easier to relate to, and I also tend to find they have more interesting internal lives. This might have started as looking for women to date, like in high school (I definitely befriended women I was interested in then, although it was never all of my female friends), but at this point I've been married for decades and I'm not looking for dates, I'm looking for friends who don't stress me out and they're mostly women.

This sounds like my dad. He is not big on the male ego/aggression thing and works a high powered job surrounded by a lot of men who have these behaviors. He does have a few male friends but in social settings he gravitates towards women and kids. I think some men rather clumsily treat social interactions like dick measuring contests and he doesn’t have any interest in talking about who has the nicest car, who makes more money etc. I think women are less likely to treat him like competition due to his gender so he feels he can have deeper and more interesting conversations with them. He is not gay and has been happily married a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, so I have a pattern I am trying to uncover and break.
I often date men who are frequently hanging around lots of women. Not like thirsty women- but still, lots of women.

What does this pattern say about me, them, or nothing at all.

I’m married to a man like this. It’s awful. Please try to break this pattern

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, so I have a pattern I am trying to uncover and break.
I often date men who are frequently hanging around lots of women. Not like thirsty women- but still, lots of women.

What does this pattern say about me, them, or nothing at all.

I’m married to a man like this. It’s awful. Please try to break this pattern

Curious; what don’t you like about it? Do you not like the women or how he behaves around them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP grow up, men and women have friends of all sex and race.

Races? Wow- digging deep there right be insulted.
Would you be equally comfortable with women who only hung out with men?

[Anonymous]

They are insecure. Run!

[Anonymous]

I have a friend like this. For him, I think it's about trauma, trouble forming friendships-and women are more likely to carry the weight of a friendship.