College essay: can being too honest backfire?

[Anonymous]

Our DC struggled as freshman and part of sophomore year but then excelled as a junior. Taking very challenging courses as senior. DC wants to put a lot of details about what contributed to a bad start in high school but reflect on how lessons were learned. Applying to some selective schools but wondering if being brutally honest will have a negative impact (doesn’t want to be seen as a slacker or weak student). For context:SAT very high. Good ECs with a lot of volunteer hours with low income kids. Interested in humanities. TIA

[Anonymous]

Being too honest can hurt if they think it is a problem that can rear its ugly head again in college

Tread lightly

[Anonymous]

Be careful if anything is related to ADHD, depression, etc. And prepare your kid to be rejected from a lot of schools he could succeed at. Make him apply to at least two schools with an acceptance rate over 70%. BTDT, now looking into transferring.

[Anonymous]

If they were serious things beyond his control definitely put them in. If it’s your typical “I matured and so I got better grades” that’s just not necessary to explain, you can basically see that from the transcript.

If it’s something in between it’s kind of a tough call. It could be done well, though.

[Anonymous]

It’s not “honesty” that’s the problem, it’s that those kinds of stories tend to make dull, dreary essays. It’s an application essay, not a confessional. I would try to help dc brainstorm topics that have more to do with dc’s personality or interests or how he spends his time.

[Skinnydad]

I think some honesty there is okay, but I wouldn't go too deep into it. It's probably good to address it as a "lesson learned" type of thing, but all the details aren't necessary. Just have them frame it as something they learned along the way (value of education, studying hard, etc.). It could be a benefit if done tactfully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not “honesty” that’s the problem, it’s that those kinds of stories tend to make dull, dreary essays. It’s an application essay, not a confessional. I would try to help dc brainstorm topics that have more to do with dc’s personality or interests or how he spends his time.

I agree. It doesn't need to be cathartic for your kid to write it, it needs to be an inspiration for anyone reading it. So you need to be able to take a step back and look at the essay as objectively as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not “honesty” that’s the problem, it’s that those kinds of stories tend to make dull, dreary essays. It’s an application essay, not a confessional. I would try to help dc brainstorm topics that have more to do with dc’s personality or interests or how he spends his time.

I agree. It doesn't need to be cathartic for your kid to write it, it needs to be an inspiration for anyone reading it. So you need to be able to take a step back and look at the essay as objectively as possible.

+2. The advice I’ve heard on essays is to put yourself in the admission counselor’s position of reading thousands of essays and maybe having 5-7 minutes per admission packet. Is this essay something you would want to read? Also with good writing in general you hear to “show rather than tell the readers”.

There is a related but separate debate if you should even acknowledge mention mental health struggles or neurodiversity in the application. I don’t know think my dd will include anything about that but if she does, at one of the college counseling sessions at her high school with a college admission counselor (not of a school she is applying to), the person mentioned that there is usually a section if you want to provide additional information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not “honesty” that’s the problem, it’s that those kinds of stories tend to make dull, dreary essays. It’s an application essay, not a confessional. I would try to help dc brainstorm topics that have more to do with dc’s personality or interests or how he spends his time.

I agree. It doesn't need to be cathartic for your kid to write it, it needs to be an inspiration for anyone reading it. So you need to be able to take a step back and look at the essay as objectively as possible.

+2. The advice I’ve heard on essays is to put yourself in the admission counselor’s position of reading thousands of essays and maybe having 5-7 minutes per admission packet. Is this essay something you would want to read? Also with good writing in general you hear to “show rather than tell the readers”.

There is a related but separate debate if you should even acknowledge mention mental health struggles or neurodiversity in the application. I don’t know think my dd will include anything about that but if she does, at one of the college counseling sessions at her high school with a college admission counselor (not of a school she is applying to), the person mentioned that there is usually a section if you want to provide additional information.

At the end of the FAFSA there's an additional information section, that's the appropriate place to discuss trajectory in GPA. Don't weight down the essay with that. The essay should highlight her current self.

[Anonymous]

something that conveys a growth mindset is good; while it can seem otherwise to high school students, college admissions officers (like job interviewers) aren't necessarily looking for perfection and being able to overcome inital challenges/difficulties and persevere/improve in the same area can also be impressive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:something that conveys a growth mindset is good; while it can seem otherwise to high school students, college admissions officers (like job interviewers) aren't necessarily looking for perfection and being able to overcome inital challenges/difficulties and persevere/improve in the same area can also be impressive

The problem is that it's hackneyed usually. This is the kind of thing that parents think--and sometimes then make kids think--is a good personal essay. The aim isn't to show perfection OR a growth mindset. It's to give them a sense of you as yourself--your voice, your writing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:something that conveys a growth mindset is good; while it can seem otherwise to high school students, college admissions officers (like job interviewers) aren't necessarily looking for perfection and being able to overcome inital challenges/difficulties and persevere/improve in the same area can also be impressive

The problem is that it's hackneyed usually. This is the kind of thing that parents think--and sometimes then make kids think--is a good personal essay. The aim isn't to show perfection OR a growth mindset. It's to give them a sense of you as yourself--your voice, your writing.

The sounds right. It is tough to get across the growth mindset. That being said, note one of the Common App essay prompts: "Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others."

[Anonymous]

OP here. Read some replies to my DC and they were helpful. Eliminated some details and focused more on how much these challenges helped DC grow. We’ll see what happens. For so many schools it’s really a crapshoot but DC has good safeties and a solid work ethic. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Read some replies to my DC and they were helpful. Eliminated some details and focused more on how much these challenges helped DC grow. We’ll see what happens. For so many schools it’s really a crapshoot but DC has good safeties and a solid work ethic. Thanks

Good luck! Sounds like DC is on a great trajectory and will thrive wherever they land.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not “honesty” that’s the problem, it’s that those kinds of stories tend to make dull, dreary essays. It’s an application essay, not a confessional. I would try to help dc brainstorm topics that have more to do with dc’s personality or interests or how he spends his time.

I agree. It doesn't need to be cathartic for your kid to write it, it needs to be an inspiration for anyone reading it. So you need to be able to take a step back and look at the essay as objectively as possible.

+2. The advice I’ve heard on essays is to put yourself in the admission counselor’s position of reading thousands of essays and maybe having 5-7 minutes per admission packet. Is this essay something you would want to read? Also with good writing in general you hear to “show rather than tell the readers”.

There is a related but separate debate if you should even acknowledge mention mental health struggles or neurodiversity in the application. I don’t know think my dd will include anything about that but if she does, at one of the college counseling sessions at her high school with a college admission counselor (not of a school she is applying to), the person mentioned that there is usually a section if you want to provide additional information.

At the end of the FAFSA there's an additional information section, that's the appropriate place to discuss trajectory in GPA. Don't weight down the essay with that. The essay should highlight her current self.

100% agree with this. That section is at the end of the Common App (not the FAFSA). What the colleges really want to know is what your kid brings to the table and how it helps round out the class. Will your kid be the engineer, the talented artist, the avid reader, the social media expert, the aspiring attorney helping those less fortunate defend their rights? Your student should use the “other info” section to provide context for the not so pleasant stuff, but use the essay to let his passions shine.