How can you raise academically inclined children?

Anonymous
I was a poor student and did not care for school work. I suffered professionally due to my poor academics. I do not want the same for my children but I have no idea how to instill better learning habits in them.

Tips? ideas?
Anonymous
Procreate with someone smart. Have more than one. Odds are, one of them will be academically inclined.
Anonymous
Tell them that if they want to go to college they need to get significant scholarships.
Anonymous
My husband and I are academics and we like to learn. However my husband doesn't like to read for pleasure, despite having an MD and a PhD. He'll read his stack of research papers and that's it.

I'm happy my kids take after me and are bookworms. They also love to learn new things in their subjects of interest, and we've always gone to museums and discussed science and history with them. I didn't read to them much when they were babies - I waited until they were old enough to understand my favorite children's books like the original Winnie the Pooh, the Chronicles of Narnia, etc, and read them those. However as babies they saw me read all the time for pleasure, and that probably had an impact.

We also place great importance on doing well in school, particularly math skills, reading comprehension and good writing. We review these periodically, because school standards are lacking, and check homework in elementary school. Conversely, anything that's time-wasting busywork we don't force them to do.

I think it comes down to observing your own child, and see what makes them tick, how they like to learn, what topics they prefer. My son used to be passionate about war and weapons, and we built on that to instill a love of history in general. He's now doing all available AP exams in history (and Humanities in general). My daughter loves animals, and would like to work with them for her career. We told her she needs to be strong in STEM if she's considering vet school or animal biology, so she's motivated to do well in those areas.
Anonymous
Why do you think you weren't academically inclined? Do you think it was your personality or could a different academic environment have helped? I know that some kids think they don't like school when in reality they don't like being asked to do things that are too easy or too hard.

Also don't assume that intellectual inclination is very well correlated with professional success. Lots of professional success is based on connections, personality, and dogged determination. You can get really good grades but struggle professionally since the skill sets don't overlap.
Anonymous
Sow a seed by telling them hard work and good grades will take them places. Set a schedule/routine for their study before any TV or recreational time. Award accordingly.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why do you think you weren't academically inclined? Do you think it was your personality or could a different academic environment have helped? I know that some kids think they don't like school when in reality they don't like being asked to do things that are too easy or too hard.

Also don't assume that intellectual inclination is very well correlated with professional success. Lots of professional success is based on connections, personality, and dogged determination. You can get really good grades but struggle professionally since the skill sets don't overlap.


This. I wasn't academically inclined until late high school. Neither of my parents even started college. Still graduated top 10% of my law school then big law. For me it was dogged determination to be something different than the religious community in which I was raised that did not value women working outside the home. I had some academically inclined friends that did really well throughout school and have had no professional success.

That said, at my home we read every night and I make my kids listen to audiobooks in the car. I think they are academically inclined, but time will tell.
Anonymous
I think it's a crapshoot. My husband and I are both lawyers. One of our children is academically motivated, one is decidedly not (late-diagnosed inattentive ADHD), and the third is in the middle.

If I were you, OP, I'd look into whether you have inattentive ADHD or some other learning difference. I am absolutely convinced that I have inattentive ADHD. I think I did well in high school and college because I wasn't really challenged and because my analytical skills are above average. DC with ADHD (and above-average analytical skills) flamed out in middle school because the public schools around here are much more demanding than in my rural hometown. Law school was a wake up call, and I didn't go to a T14. I got through it, even graduated cum laude, but there were many nights I cried myself to sleep.
Anonymous
I agree that it’s a crap shoot. My older DD is “academically inclined” - but she’s been bright & intellectually curious from her toddler years. My other DD was just regular and has sometimes struggled with school work. To help her, I read to her before bed (even though she’s a rising 6th grader). I have her read challenging material aloud. I work on spelling & vocabulary with her, and she sees a math tutor. There is a window of time, and once they get to middle school school it just gets harder & harder to keep up if you’re behind.

I agree that grades aren’t everything, and many successful people struggled.
Anonymous
Read to them constantly. Talk to them over meals. That’s it.
Anonymous
Get the newspaper delivered. Read it. Your kids will wonder what you’re so interested in.
Anonymous
Limit media and screen time. Make them play an instrument. Don’t give them phones til much later than all their friends.
Anonymous
There is a certain aspect of "nature" involved in that individuals may be inclined one way or another. If they are not so inclined, you may not be able to make them inclined to be interested in academics or studying.

However, inasmuch as "nurture" can encourage children to be more inclined, you work on making reading and learning interesting and fun. So, you start by reading to them as much as you can. Emphasize non-screen time as much as possible, so that they get more accustomed to reading rather than watching. When they are young, make sure to incorporate teaching and learning into everything. So, go for a walk and talk about the interesting flowers or animals/birds. When you are working around them, talk to them about what you are doing.

When they hit the insatiable question phase (around 2-3 years old), take the time to answer their questions, don't just use platitudes. If you don't know the answer, show they how to find the answers. In the modern age, when they have a question you don't know, just say "why don't we Google it to find out?" For my kids, we talk a lot. When they have questions, even at dinner, I'll pull out the phone and we'll Google the answer and talk about it. Now that they are late ES, they can Google many things on their own and they do. We show an interest, so if they find something interesting on Google, they'll mention it and we'll talk about it. They love to "educate" Mom and Dad about things they've learned. And they love to learn. We've done the best we could to cultivate this since they could talk. And of our two kids (twins, so they've been in the same environment all their lives), one is much more inclined to be academic and want to learn. The other is smart and good in school, but not as interested in learning for learning's sake. He is very inclined to learn things that interest him and will study a lot about those subjects and topics, but less inclined to just research and learn on his own.
Anonymous
I laid out the law. Do you want to work at McDonalds? No? Then study hard and becoming something.
Also explained education is the key to success. Point out the several successful people and their education background.

At the same time, I warned not to look down on fast food jobs ect. Those are hard working people. My first job was in fast food. I am happy
to can share the blood and sweat stories of working hard to make a dollar. I actually want DS to taste that kind of job to motivatie him to work and climb up higher.
He said he wont do that, he prefer to invest in the stock instead.... okay smarty panty kid..he's 12 btw, so its still early.

I make it clear money doesnt grown on trees. Currently, I make him do his own laundry and take the recycle plus trash out. I also said, the older you get the more responsibilities you will have. Life isn't free. He does get an allowance. He is a good kid so have't had to deduct money for not doing chores... for now.


Anonymous
Read for fun, help them find books about things that interest them, model for them by reading for fun as an adult whether it's the news or a book, don't pressure them down a specific academic path and encourage the academic version of whatever gets them excited (you like soccer? let's find some biographies of famous players), encourage a growth mindset in learning. Too many kids get turned off a subject because when they struggle someone tells them they are intrinsically just not good at it, instead of emphasizing that if they work hard they will usually be able to get it. Of course it comes easier for some kids but with a few exceptions most kids can do well if they are persistent, at least up through the undergraduate level. It can be a real spiral if they fall behind, attribute it to lack of natural ability, stop trying, and fall further behind - that isn't fun for anyone.

My DH barely made it out of high school. Eventually he went to community college, then transferred to a state school, found his passion, and went to an elite graduate school. I'm sure everyone knows the opposite (someone with promise in high school who sort of flopped as an adult or in college). Being academically inclined or not doesn't have to be a lifelong trait.

OP you talk about not caring for school work - I think it's important to talk to kids about how sometimes there are things we have to do at work (and school) that we don't enjoy, but that's not an excuse not to work hard and try your best. Not everything is going to be fun and sometimes the reason we find it not fun is that we have to work harder and get better at it, then it will be more enjoyable - and sometimes it will never get fun, but we have to have pride in our work and do our best.
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