Nanny dilemma

[Anonymous]

My nanny decided to retire and her last day is supposed to be in two weeks. We hired a new nanny who is set to start on Aug 16th but next week she was going to come for a few half days so she could shadow my current nanny and get to know my kids - they are very attached to my current nanny and I know it’s going to be a rough transition so I really thought gradual would be best.

My nanny texted Sunday night to tell me she is sick (bad cold - not Covid). I told her to take yesterday off and we could chat at the end of the day but didn’t end up speaking to her until this morning. She said she is still sick and probably needs the whole week off to be safe, but doesn’t know when she will feel better and be able to come back implying next week is up in the air too. She said she thinks she got the cold from her cousin who was sick for over 2 weeks - - it was a bit of an odd conversation and she said she understands if we just want to let her go now. I want to give my nanny the benefit of the doubt and assume she is really sick, but she originally asked for this week off but we said no since we knew she was leaving right around now and we hadn’t found a new nanny yet so we asked if she could be flexible to wait until we knew when someone new could start. She said it was fine and she will just plan to go away a couple weeks later.

So all said, now we need to decide - do we even bother to have her come back next week if she is up for it, or just let her go at this point, in which case I will need to take next week off of work to train the new nanny. Will it be harder for my kids to have her back for just a few days?

Also, we were planning to give her two weeks severance but if we let her go now can we just give her 2 weeks total and not pay for this or last week? I am hesitant to pay her for this week and then have her say she is still sick next week.

How would you handle? So frustrated things aren’t going according to out how we planned them months ago and don’t love feeling like we are being ghosted in the end.

[Anonymous]

I would not have her come back and just train the nanny myself, if for no other reason than not infecting the whole family with a respiratory virus. Does she have any sick leave or vacation to use?

[Anonymous]

She’s obviously taking the week off. She’s not sick. That sucks. I’m sorry. Just have the new nanny start and cut whatever bonus you were going to give her.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she is done and ready to head into retirement.

[Anonymous]

Can the new nanny start sooner?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, she took the week off and honestly, good for her. She has put in her time. It’s time for both of you to move on.

[Anonymous]

You don’t need to pay her for the time she is not working unless she has sick leave or other PTO.

[Anonymous]

Although you can’t be sure, it does seem like she took the week off and made up the story about being sick. If you could swing it I wouldn’t have her come back. And I wouldn’t pay the extra severance in that case.

[Anonymous]

She screwed you. That's not right.

[Anonymous]

I'd assume she's not coming back, but you probably also don't need to take all of next week off to train the new nanny. Maybe plan to spend an extra hour or two for a few days with her to show her the ropes, but I've found with nannies that the transition is often helped by letting them figure things out and taking yourself out of the equation so that the kids can adjust.

[Anonymous]

Require a doctor's note of she is sick for more than a day

[Anonymous]

Request old nanny write up a one or two page outline of how things usually go/tip sheet.

[Anonymous]

How long was she your Nanny? Answer factors how much I think you should pay her.

[Anonymous]

Did she have sick days to use? /she probably feels entitled to get them as days off.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. She was our nanny for a year and a half. If it matters, she started in November 2019 and then from mid April through September 2020 we paid her to stay home because of COVID (we are very cautious).

She has technically used all her sick and PTO days this year - we are generally flexible and usually pay for extra sick time, but since I am not sure if she is really sick I am not thrilled to do it.