would you keep going?

[Anonymous]

Hi all, feeling kind of lost so would love to get some thoughts from this group. We have been trying to have a second child for two years, I am currently 40. I've had one missed miscarriage at 12 weeks that we learned was for trisomy 21. We have had two failed rounds of IVF, first round we got one blast that tested abnormal, second round we got two blasts that tested abnormal. I get a good amount of eggs, but a below average amount fertilize and make it to day 5. So it is probably an egg quality issue. Would you keep going? We are on shared risk, so money isn't a huge factor, but I don't want to do this forever with no luck and the emotional and physical toll. What would you do if you were in our position? We have a child who is 4.

[Anonymous]

Sorry! IVF is supremely frustrating.

What is your doctor doing differently each cycle? Are you doing anything to improve egg quality?

[Anonymous]

I would keep going. Shared risk has a stop time right, they'll only let you do so many cycles? I would probably declare that as my stop time.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Try a cycle transferring fresh or frozen of day two or three embryos. It made the difference for us (vs testing, blast stage etc).

[Anonymous]

I would keep going, but only you know your emotional limit. You may also consider transferring a normals depending on what the abnormality is. Embryo genetic testing is not 100% and lots of false positives out there.

[Anonymous]

We stopped doing IVF for a second child when the odds of success from continued cycles dropped under 10% and it began to feel pointless. You get so used to the physical and emotional hardship that it becomes your normal. Then you stop and realize how much you had been putting yourself through. Surprisingly, we conceived naturally 4 times after stopping treatment, but all ended in early miscarriages due to chromosomal issues. That was extra confirmation that trying would just mean more pain and loss. It sucked, but was validating that we really weren't going to get lucky if we had kept trying forever. I'll say, many women hit the emotional wall after their third failed cycle. If you don't feel like you've hit the wall yet, then try again and see how you feel. You'll know when you've had enough.

[Anonymous]

In your shoes, I would try until my shared risk limit was met and then consider donor eggs as it seems to be an egg quality issue.

[Anonymous]

I would go to Colorado or Cornell or quit. I wouldn’t keep doing the same thing.

[Anonymous]

currently year 3 trying for a sibling. 5 failed IVF rounds (DOR is my issue) with horrible egg quality. Switched and did mini stim instead of full stims, got one blast - didn't test and am 12 weeks with all the NIPT tests coming back low risk. I am 42. I almost quit but needed to try a different approach (mini stim) before calling it quits. I know it's highly debated but when you have egg quality issues stims are not your friend. good luck

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for the replies. After I talked to my care team today I learned we are changing the protocol a bit. I feel better about moving forward with another round knowing we are trying something new.
In terms of trying to increase egg quality, any suggestions? I am taking coq10. What else should I be doing?
I think we will try at least one more time...

[Anonymous]

How did you have your first and at what age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Try a cycle transferring fresh or frozen of day two or three embryos. It made the difference for us (vs testing, blast stage etc).

+1

Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

I would move on to donor egg IVF. I conceived on the first round of DE IVF three times after years of frustrating losses with OE. It’s a way to move on and get a child (and my three are amazing!).

[Anonymous]

OP here - we had our first at 35, no interventions. Took 3 months of "real" trying with timed intercourse after several more months of trying casually.

[Anonymous]

I’d suggest moving on to donor egg.

We conceived on our own three times; two ended in TFMR. I then did four rounds of retrieval; 60+ eggs, no normal blasts. I wish we’d moved on to donor egg after the second round. Donor egg worked with the second transfer.