I Am Constantly in Tears

[Anonymous]

My teen DD is so mean, so cruel, so unrelenting that I am in tears nearly daily. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. She is a good student and from all reports lovely to others. But she takes everything out on me, says mean things to me, etc. daily. I mean it does not stop.

I am heartbroken over this. And worn out from all the crying. I swear, sometimes it feels like an abusive relationship. I have fantasies of running away.

I just want a day of peace, but every single day something inevitably sets her off and at some point I just can’t take it anymore. She doesn’t always see me cry—many times I make it out of the room. Other times she does.

I’m so tired of it.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP. Can you find a psychologist for support, maybe one who specializes in family issues?

Some people are trainable. I'm no expert in this, but when I have enough of my younger daughter's back talk, I take away electronics and that seems to help with her behavior. When I give it back, I ask for an apology too.

[Anonymous]

Wow. One question- where is dad and how does she treat him? Siblings?

[Anonymous]

Me too. She is awful, but only with me. I have said to her, no matter how awful and mean you are to me, no matter how much you continue to hurt my feelings, no matter how much I dislike your behavior, I will always love you. That is my current go-to.

All I can say is try not to react/engage, keep calm and steady, and carry on. I'm told they will come back to us in a few years. I hope those doing the telling are correct

[Anonymous]

The minute she starts disrespecting you, tell her you won't listen to it and leave the room. Lather, rinse, repeat. Find a counselor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me too. She is awful, but only with me. I have said to her, no matter how awful and mean you are to me, no matter how much you continue to hurt my feelings, no matter how much I dislike your behavior, I will always love you. That is my current go-to.

All I can say is try not to react/engage, keep calm and steady, and carry on. I'm told they will come back to us in a few years. I hope those doing the telling are correct

you sound like a doormat? why would you tell her you love her as she abuses you?

[Anonymous]

I wonder if your daughter has anxiety or some mood disorder, and she unloads it onto you. Maybe a PhD (nonmedical) would benefit her and her behavior to work through her anger and underlying mood issues in a healthier way than dumping on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen DD is so mean, so cruel, so unrelenting that I am in tears nearly daily. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. She is a good student and from all reports lovely to others. But she takes everything out on me, says mean things to me, etc. daily. I mean it does not stop.

I am heartbroken over this. And worn out from all the crying. I swear, sometimes it feels like an abusive relationship. I have fantasies of running away.

I just want a day of peace, but every single day something inevitably sets her off and at some point I just can’t take it anymore. She doesn’t always see me cry—many times I make it out of the room. Other times she does.

I’m so tired of it.

My first thought is get yourself a therapist to take care of you! You do not want your emotions to be at the mercy of your teen’s moods and words. Make sure you are getting your emotional needs met elsewhere and not depending on your child for validation.

Also work on your boundaries. Let her know you will not be spoken to with disrespect and all conversations end when that happens. Then walk away when it does. If you pay for your child’s phone take it away if they are nasty to you. You can get to a better place where your teen is not controlling your emotions but it will likely take working on yourself.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, I am not trying to be rude, but this is not an effective technique against a child who is trying to be emotionally manipulative. I strongly encourage you to seek out a therapist or child psychologist who is experienced in managing these behaviors for advice and suggestions.

[Anonymous]

How old is your child? My son is 14. I pay for his phone, his ipad, cable, he needs me for rides to see his friends and do things. If he treats me with disrespect, he loses these things, which are important to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your child? My son is 14. I pay for his phone, his ipad, cable, he needs me for rides to see his friends and do things. If he treats me with disrespect, he loses these things, which are important to him.

This.

[Anonymous]

I'm not OP, but is there a program that can shut off a cell phone? I know a wireless router can get pulled from power cord, but how can a parent shut off a cell phone if a kid refuses to relinquish? there must be an app for that!!!

[Anonymous]

I’m starting to be convinced there are a lot of hidden KellyAnne Conway mother-daughter relationships out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not OP, but is there a program that can shut off a cell phone? I know a wireless router can get pulled from power cord, but how can a parent shut off a cell phone if a kid refuses to relinquish? there must be an app for that!!!

If my kid refused to hand over his (my) cell phone, he better sleep with his eyes open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not OP, but is there a program that can shut off a cell phone? I know a wireless router can get pulled from power cord, but how can a parent shut off a cell phone if a kid refuses to relinquish? there must be an app for that!!!

Call the cell phone provider and stop paying for the extra phone line. That would include minutes and data - essentially bricking the phone unless they have access to the house wifi.