I Am Constantly in Tears

[Anonymous]

Beat her ass OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Beat her ass OP.

I don’t usually laugh at the idea of harming children but I did at this one. Can you imagine a mother who is in the brink of tears trying to spank her teenage daughter?

No this will not work.

[Anonymous]

I can relate, but my tyrant is my elderly mother.

[Anonymous]

Take back the power, OP. I'm sorry you're suffering.

[Anonymous]

It's not normal for you to be in tears daily, OP. I believe you when you say your child is manipulative and hurtful, but you should have developed tools to manage your emotions by now. I wonder if there's an underlying medical condition for your emotional state: besides the obvious menopause, there's thyroid issues, and probably other things. You should get a full check-up at the doctor before moving on to a therapist or psychiatrist.

Hang in there, OP.

[Anonymous]

You tell her you refuse to be her outlet for abuse any more. Just as she would not treat a friend or a boss with verbal abuse, she doesnt get get to do that to you just because you “have” to love her. When she starts, tell her you will walk away and be unavailable until she can be civil. If she wants to be treated as a mature almost-adult, she needs to behave as such. Absolutely withhold car, cash, phone, etc

That said, you need to develop thicker skin to stand up for yourself. Therapy is a great idea. And if you have a partner, have them manage her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The minute she starts disrespecting you, tell her you won't listen to it and leave the room. Lather, rinse, repeat. Find a counselor.

This. I simply wouldn’t tolerate it and cut it off the first time it happened. But then I had full support if DH and we were very involved in a church. It really doesn’t have to be this way. But you have to stop it when it happens. Maybe it’s too late now but fr others reading this you have to call it the first time it happens and remind DD you are a human. Involvement in church, temple is r3 scouting helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Beat her ass OP.

I don’t usually laugh at the idea of harming children but I did at this one. Can you imagine a mother who is in the brink of tears trying to spank her teenage daughter?

No this will not work.

Disagree. I believe OP has a spine deep down in there somewhere.
But this relationship is too far gone for "stomp your foot, tell her you won't stand for it and turn heel and exit the room"

DD needs a shocking loud wake up call because if op tries to assert herself in a half hearted meek manner, dd is going to run circles around her.

Take her phone, take her stuff, take her door off the hinges and do whatever is necessary to make miss precious understand that her reign of terror is over.

And don't back down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not OP, but is there a program that can shut off a cell phone? I know a wireless router can get pulled from power cord, but how can a parent shut off a cell phone if a kid refuses to relinquish? there must be an app for that!!!

Call the cell phone provider and stop paying for the extra phone line. That would include minutes and data - essentially bricking the phone unless they have access to the house wifi.

House wifi can be controlled with mac address. Do not allow the device on your network.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your daughter is struggling with emotional regulation. I’d get a full psych evaluation and then look at maybe DBT-informed therapy. Your daughter needs more help than the average teen to keep herself together. This might be from undiagnosed ADHD, anxiety, or depression (which can look like irritability).


This is outside the realm of normal, but it is closest to normal if she’s 14 or 15. If she’s a different age, she needs even more help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen DD is so mean, so cruel, so unrelenting that I am in tears nearly daily. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. She is a good student and from all reports lovely to others. But she takes everything out on me, says mean things to me, etc. daily. I mean it does not stop.

I am heartbroken over this. And worn out from all the crying. I swear, sometimes it feels like an abusive relationship. I have fantasies of running away.

I just want a day of peace, but every single day something inevitably sets her off and at some point I just can’t take it anymore. She doesn’t always see me cry—many times I make it out of the room. Other times she does.

I’m so tired of it.

Stop crying and give a mean answer back. Do it today.

She keeps being mean to you waiting for you to stop letting her. She gets angered and triggered by what she sees as weakness. Its caused by her own underlying anxiety and feelings of insecurity and sadness over being so angry and mean and not being able to overcome the impulse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Beat her ass OP.

I don’t usually laugh at the idea of harming children but I did at this one. Can you imagine a mother who is in the brink of tears trying to spank her teenage daughter?

No this will not work.

Disagree. I believe OP has a spine deep down in there somewhere.
But this relationship is too far gone for "stomp your foot, tell her you won't stand for it and turn heel and exit the room"

DD needs a shocking loud wake up call because if op tries to assert herself in a half hearted meek manner, dd is going to run circles around her.

Take her phone, take her stuff, take her door off the hinges and do whatever is necessary to make miss precious understand that her reign of terror is over.

And don't back down.

I concur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not OP, but is there a program that can shut off a cell phone? I know a wireless router can get pulled from power cord, but how can a parent shut off a cell phone if a kid refuses to relinquish? there must be an app for that!!!

If my kid refused to hand over his (my) cell phone, he better sleep with his eyes open.

Can we be friends?! Lmao!!

OP, please listen to this person. My child knows we don't bluff in our household. You need to take control.

[Anonymous]

My son has had some outbursts in the past and while not directed at me (he knows better!), they have been loud and ridiculous. We have taken away electronics, he currently doesn't have his xbox for the full summer, has missed multiple events because I won't drive him, etc. The outbursts have slowed down dramatically. With consequences and therapy, things have gotten better.
I have allowed my child to see how his actions have hurt me, cried and been upset but I also followed up with consequences. He isn't running the show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not OP, but is there a program that can shut off a cell phone? I know a wireless router can get pulled from power cord, but how can a parent shut off a cell phone if a kid refuses to relinquish? there must be an app for that!!!

I just take it away! If my DD is really disrespectful, I just yank her phone. That gets her attention real fast. OP, my DD is very difficult. I try to let a lot go and not get into battles. But as others point out, teens depend on us for a lot of stuff they want. If necessary, use that as leverage. Let her cry about having no phone and think about her behavior towards mom!