Does your libido decrease when you feel unattractive?

[Anonymous]

I'm not feeling very attractive right now, and my libido has diminished greatly. Does this happen to others? I'm taking steps to boost my self-confidence and feel better about myself as I don't want these feelings to negatively effect my DH who has always been so supportive and complimentary.

[Anonymous]

Yes. When I feel unattractive I definitely feel much less desire. My libido is through the roof when I am in shape and work out regularly.

[Anonymous]

Yes but when I feel attractive it’s usually because I’m not taking care of my mental health so that might be the real cause (for me anyway). I kinda look like hell right now, objectively speaking, but I don’t feel Unattractive.

[Anonymous]

Yes, during the height of Covid I put on a good amount of weight, my clothes didn’t fit and I didn’t feel good about myself. I felt unattractive even if my husband didn’t see me that way. Since early May I’ve lost all of the weight plus some, my clothes fit and my husband has been very attentive. I feel much better about myself and that has had a positive effect on my libido.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, during the height of Covid I put on a good amount of weight, my clothes didn’t fit and I didn’t feel good about myself. I felt unattractive even if my husband didn’t see me that way. Since early May I’ve lost all of the weight plus some, my clothes fit and my husband has been very attentive. I feel much better about myself and that has had a positive effect on my libido.

Same with me! When I tried on a swim suit in February I almost cried at what I saw so I went to work on fitness and dieting. Now I look great in that same swimsuit. How I felt about myself back then affected my libido but now I feel great about myself and my libido is just fine and now my husband’s libido is very alive.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be hard to have a very active libido if you don't feel good about yourself. My libido is very much mood driven and if I'm in a very good mood sex is likely on the agenda. But I realize that people are wired differently.

[Anonymous]

It's one of the most puzzling and maddening thing about women. Example, your wife puts on some weight and the frequency of sex plummets because she doesn't feel good about her body. Meanwhile the H is still attracted to her and wants her as much as ever before, even if he prefers she lost the weight (which he likely is carrying also.)

So now it's a downward spiral as she feels bad about herself combined with the added tension in the marriage from lack of sex.

Women, stop worrying about your looks so much. We are all aging. Don't let it hurt your intimacy with the man who loves and desires you.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Put on baby weight years ago and never lost it.

Libido went away with my pre-baby body. Still waiting for it to come back.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's one of the most puzzling and maddening thing about women. Example, your wife puts on some weight and the frequency of sex plummets because she doesn't feel good about her body. Meanwhile the H is still attracted to her and wants her as much as ever before, even if he prefers she lost the weight (which he likely is carrying also.)

So now it's a downward spiral as she feels bad about herself combined with the added tension in the marriage from lack of sex.

Women, stop worrying about your looks so much. We are all aging. Don't let it hurt your intimacy with the man who loves and desires you.

Tell that to the advertising industry, TIA!

[Anonymous]

This is basically the largest predictor of my libido. I started strength training regularly and it shot through the roof. I think I’m wearing my DH out LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Put on baby weight years ago and never lost it.

Libido went away with my pre-baby body. Still waiting for it to come back.

Have you met his girlfriend yet?

[Anonymous]

Not really.
I don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about what I look like. Certainly there are moments that I don’t like the way I look, like pp trying on a swimsuit that she looked bad in, and I wouldn’t want to have sex right then, but that thought doesn’t stick with me for days or weeks or months.

[Anonymous]

Uhmm...no. First of all, “unattractive” isn’t a feeling. If you are going to talk about feelings, then use the words for the actual emotions you have.

Secondly, get control of your mind. Meditate, do yoga, go to therapy, whatever you need to do to make it so that your sense of self isn’t so unstable.

[Anonymous]

I have no way of knowing.