Rule that family can’t visit if they have colds?

[Anonymous]

I’ve tried to hint to my parents for awhile I don’t want them to visit sick, even if they deem it just a minor cold. It started with when we had babies and I got angry at my mom a couple of times for coming sick. Kids are now older, but I still find it so rude and it’s hard to be warm with her here when I’m so put out. If she brings a cold here, it’s such a disruption to our three kids in terms of going to camps, seeing friends, etc, especially now with remaining covid restrictions (kids are under 12). I think she thinks I’m an idiot and is t notice her coughing and blowing her nose, or she’ll call it allergies no matter the time of year. She also is insecure about stuff, I think that’s why she comes sick and does t just cancel. She can’t bear to think she’s miss the piano recital or swim meet or whatever. I find it so so self centered and inconsideate. Jus cancel and we’ll plan another time for goodness sake. FWIW they’re a 2-3 hour drive away. They also have plenty of money to stay in a hote. Am I being unreasonable trying to set a rule that we don’t want sick houseguests ever?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s unreasonable. Reasonable people can disagree on this one. Either attitude is fine (but your mom thinking you’re an idiot for not wanting the hassle of taking care of 3 kids with a cold is not fine).

I do wish people had a less blasé attitude about colds. They can be so awful and as you say really disruptive.

[Anonymous]

I hate it when people come sick and i always say so. “We are so excited to see you this weekend! Please let me know if you’re feeling any kind of cold / virus symptoms so we can pick a different weekend, getting sick now means the kids miss an entire week of camp so I’m sure you understand. Thanks!”

[Anonymous]

I think in normal times it's over the top, but I think it's reasonable now considering the smallest sniffle triffers covid rules for your kids' school/activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think in normal times it's over the top, but I think it's reasonable now considering the smallest sniffle triffers covid rules for your kids' school/activities.

*triggers

[Anonymous]

This would drive me NUTS. I get everything. So if someone comes over with a little case of the sniffles that turns into a two day cold, I'm out for like five days with a terrible cold. I just have a crappy immune system, always have.

Stop "trying to hint" - change to "So excited to see you this weekend! Just a note that we do NOT want to get sick, so if you have any cold symptoms at all, please let us know so we can reschedule." And if someone showed up at my house, even after a three hour drive, even if it was my mom, with a runny nose and a cough, I would not let her in the house. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were sick. We cannot risk getting sick right now, we're going to have to postpone the visit." Do that once or twice, it'll never happen again.

Done.

[Anonymous]

I’m in complete agreement with you. I hope the Covid rules change in time for the holidays since I don’t expect to see family otherwise. In the before times, someone inevitably gets sick at the holidays.

[Anonymous]

My parents (both fully vaccinated medical professionals) will voluntarily opt out of visits if they're sick. But they drive here, so no canceled flights, etc. I wish everyone's parents were like that.

I'm not overly strict about COVID but I don't want my kid to miss daycare, so I'm with you, OP

[Anonymous]

I think it's ridiculous if all adults are vaccinated (especially if she has allergies; why are you assuming it's not allergies?) but it is your house, your rules.

If you've already asked her (vs hinting) and she doesn't listen, I don't know what you are going to do other than bar her from the door. Which you are entitled to do, so long as you accept there may be consequences from her and you've decided it's worth it. If you've only been hinting, then tell her straight out how you feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think in normal times it's over the top, but I think it's reasonable now considering the smallest sniffle triffers covid rules for your kids' school/activities.

I agree. In non-pandemic times, cold symptoms without fever are fine. Flu symptoms are not, like fever, aches, significant fatigue.
But now? Don’t come near me with your cold!!! It’s too much of a hassle to get tested and worry if it’s Covid and isolate while we find out and warn everyone we’ve been in contact with. I’m sure most people wouldn’t even do all those things, so for them it’s no big deal, but for me it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think in normal times it's over the top, but I think it's reasonable now considering the smallest sniffle triffers covid rules for your kids' school/activities.

OP obviously felt the same way pre-covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would drive me NUTS. I get everything. So if someone comes over with a little case of the sniffles that turns into a two day cold, I'm out for like five days with a terrible cold. I just have a crappy immune system, always have.

Stop "trying to hint" - change to "So excited to see you this weekend! Just a note that we do NOT want to get sick, so if you have any cold symptoms at all, please let us know so we can reschedule." And if someone showed up at my house, even after a three hour drive, even if it was my mom, with a runny nose and a cough, I would not let her in the house. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were sick. We cannot risk getting sick right now, we're going to have to postpone the visit." Do that once or twice, it'll never happen again.

Done.

+1 This is me. I don't get "mild" colds, I get really sick for 1-2 weeks and it is miserable. I also get painful ear infections after almost every cold, even as an adult. I HATE when people come over or show up for a previously scheduled event with sniffles because "It's just a cold!" Your "just a cold" for me is at least a week of hell. My ds is the same. I think it is so selfish and arrogant of people to just decide that since they feel being "a little sick" isn't so bad that they can inflict on others.

I have stopped people at the door and turned them away for showing up with a cold.

[Anonymous]

My kids got fever, chills, the works from a cousin, whose only symptom was sniffles. It was hugely disruptive. so yeah, I get you, OP.

[Anonymous]

YEs - DH's whole family like this. Drives me bananas. I don't have a solution for you, but just commiseration. It is so freaking selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think in normal times it's over the top, but I think it's reasonable now considering the smallest sniffle triffers covid rules for your kids' school/activities.

I agree. In non-pandemic times, cold symptoms without fever are fine. Flu symptoms are not, like fever, aches, significant fatigue.
But now? Don’t come near me with your cold!!! It’s too much of a hassle to get tested and worry if it’s Covid and isolate while we find out and warn everyone we’ve been in contact with. I’m sure most people wouldn’t even do all those things, so for them it’s no big deal, but for me it is.

Same! Don't usually care but a cold right now is such a huge pain!!