Experience with nanny having a baby

[Anonymous]

We interviewed a nanny we really like and want to hire. She is 35 and recently married, so one thing giving us pause is that she wants children of her own. We are hoping to get some insight from others who have had a nanny who had a baby while they worked for you in terms of how challenging it was to manage while they were out, and what it was like during the pregnancy and after the baby was born. We don’t have any family nearby or other support so would need to find someone to fill in while our nanny is out on maternity leave and I know that isn’t easy to find (and it can be hard on the kids). DH and I work pretty long hours and don’t have a ton of flexibility so we rely very heavily on our caregivers.

Would love to know:

-Did you pay your nanny directly for maternity leave or did they just collect disability? Not sure how that piece works
-Was your nanny able to work and manage your kids/the job up until the end of their pregnancy?
-After the baby was born were they still reliable and did your hours with them stay the same or did they ask to change?
-Did they need to take a lot of time off for doctor’s appts during their pregnancy?
-As your nanny’s kid(s) got a little older did you have issues with needing time off when the kids are sick, their own daycare closures, etc?

Thanks for any information anyone can share. We just want to understand what we are getting into so we can be prepared.

[Anonymous]

As for the nanny working during pregnancy and taking time off for appointments it will depend on the individual pregnancy. A couple of teachers at my daycare had to unexpectedly quit their jobs early due to high-risk pregnancies and they were younger than 35.

[Anonymous]

No personal experience, but wanted to answer the first part of your question - "disability coverage" for a pregnancy/maternity leave is not some automatic thing you get. There is no federal benefit, or even any statewide ones that I'm aware of, here. When people take short term disability related to pregnancy/childbirth, it's because their employer PAYS for short-term disability insurance coverage, and I assume with a single employee, that would be cost prohibitive for you to offer.

Now, if you're in DC, there is at least partially paid maternity leave available for eight weeks. Here's some basic info:

https://does.dc.gov/sites/default/files/dc/sites/does/publication/attachments/PFL%20-%208%20Weeks%20One%20Pager%201.5%5B1%5D.pdf

But, in order for your nanny to qualify, you're going to need to pay her on the books from jump, which of course means paying into the system with your employer taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No personal experience, but wanted to answer the first part of your question - "disability coverage" for a pregnancy/maternity leave is not some automatic thing you get. There is no federal benefit, or even any statewide ones that I'm aware of, here. When people take short term disability related to pregnancy/childbirth, it's because their employer PAYS for short-term disability insurance coverage, and I assume with a single employee, that would be cost prohibitive for you to offer.

Now, if you're in DC, there is at least partially paid maternity leave available for eight weeks. Here's some basic info:

https://does.dc.gov/sites/default/files/dc/sites/does/publication/attachments/PFL%20-%208%20Weeks%20One%20Pager%201.5%5B1%5D.pdf

But, in order for your nanny to qualify, you're going to need to pay her on the books from jump, which of course means paying into the system with your employer taxes.

I believe the nanny would also have to be a DC resident to qualify. I don't know how it works when a DC resident is an employee of a VA or MD employer.

[Anonymous]

Now would be a good time to think about how you would feel about your nanny bringing her baby with her to work.

[Anonymous]

This happened to us last summer, but it was during Covid so we were actually out of the house (in a different country) for 3 months (1 month before birth and 2 months after). We kept paying her her normal salary because we had my parents helping those 3 months. Not sure we would have been able to afford 2 nannies salaries.
Her baby is almost 1 and so cute. She brings him to work often and her husband or older kids (late teens) come along sometimes. She is rarely alone with my kids and her baby. She did need to take a couple of hours here and there for doctor’s visits and I stayed with the kids… it was during Covid so we were working from home anyway.
It has worked for us and the baby will soon be an automatic playmate for my 2 year old son

[Anonymous]

I was the nanny that had a baby during my employment (twice).

With my first, we agreed that I would work up until 38 weeks pregnant. None of us felt comfortable going past that to avoid me going into labor at work or having to leave unexpectedly. We found a neighborhood college girl that was available from 3-6pm as needed so I'd make all of my doctor appts within that window (my work hours were 7am-6pm) and she would fill in for me as-needed. She also became their date night sitter which was a nice relationship for them to establish. I took 6 week off and they offered me half pay. They offered to let me being my baby a few days a week and my MIL covered the other days. We ammended the contract to cite that. If my baby was sick on a day she was supposed to come with me, she stayed home with my husband or MIL and I still went to work. When my daughter was 18m, I transitioned her into a half day program near my nanny family's house so she went there in the morning and then nanny kids and I walked a few blocks to pick her up, and I put her down for nap at their house right when we got back.

With my second baby, my nanny kids were starting full time school so the job transitioned into a 30 hours per week nanny/household management job. Nanny family was also renovating their entire house during this time so we were just both really flexible with each other. My oldest was full time at an in-home daycare. I picked her and my nanny kids up at the same time and then we'd all either go back to nanny family's or if construction was too crazy, they'd all come to my house. We honestly just enmeshed families. We all went to the same pediatrician so I'd make all of the kids check ups at the same time and take all 4. Same with the dentist. When nanny family needed me to travel, they'd offer their miles to fly my DH and kids out to meet us for a few days (dad boss travelled every M-F so they had literally millions of miles). At some point, we pretty much just said screw it if any of the kids are sick, I will still care for all of them in the home of the sick child (mine or theirs). They turned a spare bedroom into a room for my kids. I had a cute little set up at my house if their kids every needed to nap or sleep over. I was with them very happily for 11 years until I started my own business and moved on. In those 11 years, I took 4 days off for my wedding, 6 weeks maternity leave after each kid, and 3 total sick days. I always aligned my vacation with theirs. We all felt very lucky to have each other.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it OP.

I personally know many families who tried to do the right thing for their pregnant nanny, including:

Accommodating a lot of extra time off for medical appointments

Accommodating even more time off for morning sickness or generally feeling unwell

Giving the nanny the day off every time their kids had even the slightest sniffle because she didn't want to risk getting sick during pregnancy (this ends up continuing even after baby is born because now nanny doesn't want to risk getting her baby sick)

Completely altering the job expectations because nanny can no longer carry the laundry basket up or down the stairs, is too tired to play with the kids so they end up watching more TV etc

Paying for nanny's maternity leave

Agreeing to let nanny bring her baby with her to work

In EVERY SINGLE case, the nanny stopped working for the family within 6 months of baby being born:

In one case, at the end of her first week back the nanny said she just couldn't handle it and financially she no longer needed the job so she became a SAHM

In another case, the family ended up letting nanny go after 4 months because she wasn't performing even the most basic of her job duties; she was completely absorbed with her own baby and never had time to engage with her charges. The parents, frustrated that they were coming home to a very messy house and children who complained that they were bored all day, ended up setting up cameras inside to get a sense of what was going on. This just confirmed that all day the kids would ask nanny to play and she'd say "I can't, I'm feeding my baby," or "I can't, my baby is sleeping" (in a ring sling). She was just telling them to go play in the backyard, or go color in a coloring book, or go watch TV, instead of engaging with them at all. The parents said the final straw was that they realized the nanny, who used to make the children lunches like chicken and pasta or veggie quesadillas, was literally feeding them PB&J sandwiches every single day because she was too busy or too tired to make anything else.

In another case, the nanny was consistently arriving 30+ minutes late, saying it was too tricky to get her child ready for the day and able to arrive on time. The family eventually, reluctantly, agreed to let nanny watch their toddler in the nanny's home. The family was frustrated because now they had to do pick up and drop off (not having to do this is usually a perk of hiring a nanny), and nanny was insisting they pack all of their toddler's food and milk as well. Additionally, nanny was no longer able to do the toddler's laundry or meal prep. They continued to pay her full hourly rate of course. Their two year old started talking about Michael and Charlie. They asked nanny about who they were, and nanny said they were neighborhood kids who sometimes played with them at the park.

Then one day they had something come up and needed to pick up their child early. Nanny started acting strange and saying it wasn't a good time, but the family insisted. It turned out that nanny was basically running an in home daycare out of her house, and was also watching two other children while she was caring for the two year old she was supposed to be nannying. So they were paying $21/hr for their child to attend an in home daycare with 3 other kids!

Don't do it. There's a terrible return on investment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it OP.

I personally know many families who tried to do the right thing for their pregnant nanny, including:

Accommodating a lot of extra time off for medical appointments

Accommodating even more time off for morning sickness or generally feeling unwell

Giving the nanny the day off every time their kids had even the slightest sniffle because she didn't want to risk getting sick during pregnancy (this ends up continuing even after baby is born because now nanny doesn't want to risk getting her baby sick)

Completely altering the job expectations because nanny can no longer carry the laundry basket up or down the stairs, is too tired to play with the kids so they end up watching more TV etc

Paying for nanny's maternity leave

Agreeing to let nanny bring her baby with her to work

In EVERY SINGLE case, the nanny stopped working for the family within 6 months of baby being born:

In one case, at the end of her first week back the nanny said she just couldn't handle it and financially she no longer needed the job so she became a SAHM

In another case, the family ended up letting nanny go after 4 months because she wasn't performing even the most basic of her job duties; she was completely absorbed with her own baby and never had time to engage with her charges. The parents, frustrated that they were coming home to a very messy house and children who complained that they were bored all day, ended up setting up cameras inside to get a sense of what was going on. This just confirmed that all day the kids would ask nanny to play and she'd say "I can't, I'm feeding my baby," or "I can't, my baby is sleeping" (in a ring sling). She was just telling them to go play in the backyard, or go color in a coloring book, or go watch TV, instead of engaging with them at all. The parents said the final straw was that they realized the nanny, who used to make the children lunches like chicken and pasta or veggie quesadillas, was literally feeding them PB&J sandwiches every single day because she was too busy or too tired to make anything else.

In another case, the nanny was consistently arriving 30+ minutes late, saying it was too tricky to get her child ready for the day and able to arrive on time. The family eventually, reluctantly, agreed to let nanny watch their toddler in the nanny's home. The family was frustrated because now they had to do pick up and drop off (not having to do this is usually a perk of hiring a nanny), and nanny was insisting they pack all of their toddler's food and milk as well. Additionally, nanny was no longer able to do the toddler's laundry or meal prep. They continued to pay her full hourly rate of course. Their two year old started talking about Michael and Charlie. They asked nanny about who they were, and nanny said they were neighborhood kids who sometimes played with them at the park.

Then one day they had something come up and needed to pick up their child early. Nanny started acting strange and saying it wasn't a good time, but the family insisted. It turned out that nanny was basically running an in home daycare out of her house, and was also watching two other children while she was caring for the two year old she was supposed to be nannying. So they were paying $21/hr for their child to attend an in home daycare with 3 other kids!

Don't do it. There's a terrible return on investment.

Scandalous!

[Anonymous]

So nannies should not have babies beause it inconveniences you. Your pregnancies and children also create problems for your employers but, unfortunately, they can't fire you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So nannies should not have babies beause it inconveniences you. Your pregnancies and children also create problems for your employers but, unfortunately, they can't fire you.

Maybe take a breath and read the OP? She’s not talking about firing a pregnant nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So nannies should not have babies beause it inconveniences you. Your pregnancies and children also create problems for your employers but, unfortunately, they can't fire you.

Maybe take a breath and read the OP? She’s not talking about firing a pregnant nanny.

Those employers also don't allow employees to bring kids to work. If you want to bring your baby with you try a daycare center many offer maternity and childcare benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So nannies should not have babies beause it inconveniences you. Your pregnancies and children also create problems for your employers but, unfortunately, they can't fire you.

Maybe take a breath and read the OP? She’s not talking about firing a pregnant nanny.

Yeah, the whole tone of this post is pretty awful as OP is basically discriminating against a candidate for being married. Just because someone was married doesn't mean they will be instantly pregnant and unable to do their job. As a professional woman, I remember employers asking me my marital status and how my husband felt about my working the type of job I was interviewing for and while I just let it go because I didn't have the means to fight it, my understanding is that these questions would be considered illegal in many jurisdictions.