Can a Californian and a Virginian make a good match?

[Anonymous]

One of us is from California (think laid back San Diego beach culture), one of us is from a very well
off, formal, blue bloodish, horsey enclave west of D.C. It’s like we have a constant low grade but humorous culture clash when we talk about our childhood and life experiences. We literally sometimes are speaking different dialects of English, one of us went to a massive urban public middle school in SoCal, one of us went to a very formal boarding school in New England, one of us wears a blue sport coat and loafers everywhere except to bed basically, one of us wears flip flops and hoodies to all but MOST formal occasions. But, absolutely, the deep attraction, mutual admiration, close friendship, and love is 100% there, and has been since the beginnings a few years ago. I’m kind of joking, but also actually wondering if anyone from the DC area has paired up with a very California Californian? And how’d that go?

[Anonymous]

Just go with it, it would be interesting to see what accent your children adopt. When I first moved here (DC) I had a really strong Brooklyn accent and everyone would ask where I was from, but over about 10 or 15 years it has really gone away and no one asks anymore, my accent gets charged up if I am back home for holidays etc. but it’s not nearly as strong as it once was.

If you live together you May adopt some of his accent and he may adopt some of yours but eventually you will both average out to a non-regional dialect like everyone else has here.

Everyone says people from California are laid-back, I don’t see it; there are neurotics in every state you just happened to get a calm one.

[Anonymous]

Ahh, the classic old money lady from Loudoun. Not surprised you were able to sweep that cali beach bum off his feet. Blue blazer, loafers, and daytime pearls is an irresistible look for men who shop exclusively from the billabong catalog.

I predict that within 5 years you will be married and living on the west coast again, La Jolla or thereabouts, in a fab mission style home with 2.5 kids and a Tesla minivan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ahh, the classic old money lady from Loudoun. Not surprised you were able to sweep that cali beach bum off his feet. Blue blazer, loafers, and daytime pearls is an irresistible look for men who shop exclusively from the billabong catalog.

I predict that within 5 years you will be married and living on the west coast again, La Jolla or thereabouts, in a fab mission style home with 2.5 kids and a Tesla minivan.

This made me chuckle. Because it's true.

The more important question for our Virginian: can you handle the Bro Dad lifestyle? It's a lifetime commitment.

[Anonymous]

The California person wants to marry into money and live near the beach in La Jolla. Sounds good to me!

[Anonymous]

You're the plot of Commonwealth by Ann Patchett. Great book -- read it to find out how your story ends.

[Anonymous]

OP, I know this didn't occur to you, but you're borderline offensive. You are in an international area where lots of people married spouses with vastly different backgrounds. My parents didn't share the same tax bracket, language, religion, culture or nationality when they met at work. My husband and I are from different cultures and ethnicities.

And you're telling me that someone from California can't live with someone from Virginia?!?!?!

Check yourself please.

[Anonymous]

If he's willing to put up with you, enjoy it while you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, I know this didn't occur to you, but you're borderline offensive. You are in an international area where lots of people married spouses with vastly different backgrounds. My parents didn't share the same tax bracket, language, religion, culture or nationality when they met at work. My husband and I are from different cultures and ethnicities.

And you're telling me that someone from California can't live with someone from Virginia?!?!?!

Check yourself please.

Sorry to offend. Congrats on your various cross cultural unions and relationships.

I was just wondering if anyone local (with some stereotypical characteristics) had married a SoCal partner (with some stereotypical characteristics) and what it was like for the couple.

[Anonymous]

I'm a southerner who married a yankee; it's working.

[Anonymous]

I think your worse problem isn't going to be personally but cross-country commuting for big events or family time. If you decide you want to be near the grandparents or siblings/cousins to foster a relationship with children, who is going to be the 'loser' in that scenario?

Or will you decide to stay in the region but basically deep-six the Cali family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, I know this didn't occur to you, but you're borderline offensive. You are in an international area where lots of people married spouses with vastly different backgrounds. My parents didn't share the same tax bracket, language, religion, culture or nationality when they met at work. My husband and I are from different cultures and ethnicities.

And you're telling me that someone from California can't live with someone from Virginia?!?!?!

Check yourself please.

Don’t get so easily offended? And don’t tell people to “check themselves”—???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ahh, the classic old money lady from Loudoun. Not surprised you were able to sweep that cali beach bum off his feet. Blue blazer, loafers, and daytime pearls is an irresistible look for men who shop exclusively from the billabong catalog.

I predict that within 5 years you will be married and living on the west coast again, La Jolla or thereabouts, in a fab mission style home with 2.5 kids and a Tesla minivan.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, I know this didn't occur to you, but you're borderline offensive. You are in an international area where lots of people married spouses with vastly different backgrounds. My parents didn't share the same tax bracket, language, religion, culture or nationality when they met at work. My husband and I are from different cultures and ethnicities.

And you're telling me that someone from California can't live with someone from Virginia?!?!?!

Check yourself please.

This is extremely stupid. Actually America has tremendous cultural diversity.

-PacNWer married to South Asian

[Anonymous]

Serious(ish) answer: as long as you both have a sense of humor about your differences and aren't judgmental or defensive about it, it can work. Like, if you poke fun of each other's "culture," are you each able to chuckle and acknowledge, "yeah, it is a little ridiculous that my high school friends all own horses/all wear flat-brimmed Hurley hats, but I kind of love it."

But if there's insecurity, it can be tough. My parents were sort of mis-matched in the respect that my mother was very blue-blood and well-educated and my dad came from nothing and was the first of any close relation to go even to a crappy college. While it was to dad's credit that he "made it," the chip on his shoulder and resentment about how "easy" my mom supposedly had it growing up was toxic.