FET now or bank embryo(s) to use later?

[Anonymous]

I have almost 2 year old DS from IVF when I was just turning 36. That cycle gave me another PGS normal embryo so I’ve got that one on ice (it’s a 7 day normal blast). My DH and I want to have one more child but I feel like I have my hands full with my DS and we’re both really happy with our family of 3. I signed up for DHs insurance policy which covers $30k in IVF. Ideally, I would love to wait to transfer my remaining embryo in another 6-12 months. However, I’m worried that if the embryo doesn’t work, I’ll have to do another round of IVF and will have potentially lost my opportunity to have a baby with my own eggs as my fertility will have decreased even further. I was originally going to do a with retrieval just to bank more embryos and buy some time but then I fear I’ll have to deal with what to do with the remaining embryos.

So, do I just do an FET now with my last embryo and if it doesn’t work, then look into another round of IVF or should I just do another round of IVF so I can bank another embryo (or more) and kick the can down the road to when I’m really ready for a second?

[Anonymous]

Wait until fall then do the FET

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do an FET until I was sure I was ready to have another child. If I were in your situation, I'd rather IVF/bank embryos than feel pressured to rush a second pregnancy. It may be as time goes on you'll find you're remaining happy as a family of three. We have ended up being one and done, which I didn't expect when we started the process. But although we still have one PGS normal embryo on ice...I just feel like our family is complete and happy as we are, the more time we spend this way. (Also I am not sure I really could cope with another dose of the "threenager" year we're in right now but that is obviously a personal problem, LOL.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do an FET until I was sure I was ready to have another child. If I were in your situation, I'd rather IVF/bank embryos than feel pressured to rush a second pregnancy. It may be as time goes on you'll find you're remaining happy as a family of three. We have ended up being one and done, which I didn't expect when we started the process. But although we still have one PGS normal embryo on ice...I just feel like our family is complete and happy as we are, the more time we spend this way. (Also I am not sure I really could cope with another dose of the "threenager" year we're in right now but that is obviously a personal problem, LOL.)

NP in the same situation. Curious what you’re doing with your remaining embryo? I can’t seem to let go of mine even thought I know I don’t want another kid. Not quite sure what that means.

[Anonymous]

In your situation I would do banking and try to get some more embryos, and then transfer only when ready for second child

[Anonymous]

Have the second baby only when you feel ready for it. In your situation I would use the IVF benefits to bank more embryos right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do an FET until I was sure I was ready to have another child. If I were in your situation, I'd rather IVF/bank embryos than feel pressured to rush a second pregnancy. It may be as time goes on you'll find you're remaining happy as a family of three. We have ended up being one and done, which I didn't expect when we started the process. But although we still have one PGS normal embryo on ice...I just feel like our family is complete and happy as we are, the more time we spend this way. (Also I am not sure I really could cope with another dose of the "threenager" year we're in right now but that is obviously a personal problem, LOL.)

NP in the same situation. Curious what you’re doing with your remaining embryo? I can’t seem to let go of mine even thought I know I don’t want another kid. Not quite sure what that means.

Op here: this is exactly what I’m afraid of!

[Anonymous]

i would transfer the remaining embryo and see how you feel. It is not a guarantee even if it's a pgs normal. You feelings after that outcome will guide you to if you want to try to make more embryos.

I had 5 and thought I had enough for a sibling and transferred slowly over 4 years. DD is now 5 and NONE of them took.

[Anonymous]

I am in a similar situation and just finished an embryo banking cycle since for me I think that being unable to have a second would be far more devastating than having to make a tough decision about what to do with remaining embryos. But that was a very personal decision informed by my personal ethics and experience with infertility thus far, so it may be different for you. Good luck with the decision!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do an FET until I was sure I was ready to have another child. If I were in your situation, I'd rather IVF/bank embryos than feel pressured to rush a second pregnancy. It may be as time goes on you'll find you're remaining happy as a family of three. We have ended up being one and done, which I didn't expect when we started the process. But although we still have one PGS normal embryo on ice...I just feel like our family is complete and happy as we are, the more time we spend this way. (Also I am not sure I really could cope with another dose of the "threenager" year we're in right now but that is obviously a personal problem, LOL.)

NP in the same situation. Curious what you’re doing with your remaining embryo? I can’t seem to let go of mine even thought I know I don’t want another kid. Not quite sure what that means.

Op here: this is exactly what I’m afraid of!

Original PP and yeah, I do think about it sitting there on ice sometimes, and feel it more than I expected to to be totally honest. That's one reason it's still there even though I am happy with where our family is right now, so I really hear you, PP! And in a weird way I wish there were more because if there were, like, 10, it would be so obvious we couldn't try for them all it would seem less personal than...one lonely one that didn't get picked when we got lucky. But you know, when I start to get into a funk about it I sit down and think about all the science, how many embryos don't implant anyway - I had a couple of failed FETs and also a miscarriage so saw that on the personal level - and remind myself that while it's a possibility of life, it's not a life, and from time immemorial the universe has been full of possibilities that haven't been realized and that's both natural and, well, ok. On days when I feel spiritual I figure if there's a soul out there that's meant to be, it will make its way to Earth one way or another anyway. And when I'm feeling more pragmatic I figure it's just like a potential electrical connection that will never get turned on and it just...is what it is, no need to get upset about it.

(I will say I have thought about donating it but DH is very against that, which I respect, as I respect those who do donate their remaining embryos.)