I’ve been on DCUM for 5 years. This is my first IL post.

[Anonymous]

On vacation with the ILs. (All fully vaccinated, and we’re staying in a cabin.)

FIL has to control everything. Literally from the first, as we pull up. “Don’t park there, park THERE, and back in, so we can unload easier.” “Don’t take that in the house first, take THAT in the house first.” “Oh, don’t drink that—we’re having X for dinner, and you want to drink Y with X.” “The kids don’t have to go to bed NOW—it’s vacation!” “They should be up by now.” “Don’t set that there—it will fade in the sun.” (It’s a freaking magazine.)

It’s driving me batty. I try sticking up for myself and my kids, in the moment, but it’s like he’s deaf to anything but the sound of his own voice.

[Anonymous]

I vacation with a friend like that. Unless it’s important to me, I just go along and don’t say anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I vacation with a friend like that. Unless it’s important to me, I just go along and don’t say anything.

I let the little things slide, but man. He literally tries to manage my purse.

[Anonymous]

Day trips without him. Seriously.

Just to f with him, I would declare that our family is on a special diet and we will handle all our own meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Day trips without him. Seriously.

Just to f with him, I would declare that our family is on a special diet and we will handle all our own meals.

Haha! This would be a great time to try out being vegan or keto or plant based.

Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Day trips without him. Seriously.

Just to f with him, I would declare that our family is on a special diet and we will handle all our own meals.

Haha! This would be a great time to try out being vegan or keto or plant based.

Enjoy!

OP here. HAHAHA! He seems kind of dubious that my kids actually have severe tree nut and peanut allergies, so the food “battles” have already been waged. As in yes we really do have to check labels.

[Anonymous]

Is your husband just letting him boss you around? He needs to say something, “Ok, Dad, enough. It’s our vacation, too, and my wife is pretty damn smart and can make her own decisions.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your husband just letting him boss you around? He needs to say something, “Ok, Dad, enough. It’s our vacation, too, and my wife is pretty damn smart and can make her own decisions.”

He’s speaking up for each “infraction,” but I think you’re right. He needs to make a global remark to shut it down.

[Anonymous]

I would suddenly feel sick and leave early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On vacation with the ILs. (All fully vaccinated, and we’re staying in a cabin.)

FIL has to control everything. Literally from the first, as we pull up. “Don’t park there, park THERE, and back in, so we can unload easier.” “Don’t take that in the house first, take THAT in the house first.” “Oh, don’t drink that—we’re having X for dinner, and you want to drink Y with X.” “The kids don’t have to go to bed NOW—it’s vacation!” “They should be up by now.” “Don’t set that there—it will fade in the sun.” (It’s a freaking magazine.)

It’s driving me batty. I try sticking up for myself and my kids, in the moment, but it’s like he’s deaf to anything but the sound of his own voice.

Omg "fade in the sun" is my parents too, about the most random things. Seriously some old ppl just don't have enough going on and too much time to fixate on random things.

[Anonymous]

This s my FIL. Total narcissist who has to control everything. It has gotten worse over the years to the point where we have very little contact with him.

[Anonymous]

My DH had a secret family? A younger one!
OMG!

[Anonymous]

How does he try to control your purse?! That’s hilarious (and awful)! My DH has very mild tendencies like this, so I’ve started saying “I’m a 45-year-old woman. I can make this decision for myself!” and “I’m a 45-year-old woman. I think I can handle putting down a magazine” or whatever. You can also just say, “I’m good,” which shows you heard him but aren’t going to listen to him. At some point you might make a joke about FIL getting a job so he gets paid to boss people around. Otherwise, just ignore him like he didn’t speak and do your thing your way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does he try to control your purse?! That’s hilarious (and awful)! My DH has very mild tendencies like this, so I’ve started saying “I’m a 45-year-old woman. I can make this decision for myself!” and “I’m a 45-year-old woman. I think I can handle putting down a magazine” or whatever. You can also just say, “I’m good,” which shows you heard him but aren’t going to listen to him. At some point you might make a joke about FIL getting a job so he gets paid to boss people around. Otherwise, just ignore him like he didn’t speak and do your thing your way.

If we’re about to go out the door to a vacation outing, and I hang it on the back of a chair as I put sunscreen on the kids or something, he’ll walk it back to the bedroom and say, “You’re going to lose this if you leave it lying about.” And I’m like…I know exactly where I left it, we’re about to leave.

Anyway, I do say, “I’m good,” and DH does stick up for me, but I think DH is going to have to sit him down and tell him to please stop. And if it doesn’t, I think we’re going to leave early.

[Anonymous]

Start micro managing his actions. Turn it into a drinking game. Have your kids start micro managing his actions. Set out 20 magazines on a row in the sun. Leave your purse on his doorknob and walk around telling everyone he stole your purse. You can have a lot of fun with this. If he reacts poorly, you can then tell him to pound sand.