Do you teach your kids to stay out of primary bedroom during a play date?

[Anonymous]

There is one of my daughter’s friends who always goes into the primary bedroom during play dates, despite us repeatedly telling her not to. Should I say something to the parents?

I personally have taught my daughters not to go in the parents’ bedrooms or other private areas of the home during a play date. Am I the only one who cares about this?

[Anonymous]

You can call it a master bedroom. The term was coined by Sears in the 1930s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is one of my daughter’s friends who always goes into the primary bedroom during play dates, despite us repeatedly telling her not to. Should I say something to the parents?

I personally have taught my daughters not to go in the parents’ bedrooms or other private areas of the home during a play date. Am I the only one who cares about this?

I think that if she doesn't listen to you, it's likely that if her mother had told her she wouldn't listen to her mother.

I would say something to her like "I have asked you not to go in my room. If it happens again, I will not invite you back." and then explain to the parents "I'm sorry, we can't have her over again, as she did not follow my rules. Maybe in a few months we can try again."

But I'd also make sure my kid knew that this was my plan, because generally a kid can shut this behavior down in a peer pretty quickly.

[Anonymous]

The child should not be going into your bedroom but with covid no inside play dates. Stop inviting the child.

[Anonymous]

I’d talk directly to the kid:

“Larla, I’ve told you not to go into our bedroom. Yet you continue to do it. What’s going on?”

Listen to whatever she says. Then respond with, “If it happens again, the play date is over.”

If she does do it again, then you end it and talk with the parent.

[Anonymous]

Why not just lock the door?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d talk directly to the kid:

“Larla, I’ve told you not to go into our bedroom. Yet you continue to do it. What’s going on?”

Listen to whatever she says. Then respond with, “If it happens again, the play date is over.”

If she does do it again, then you end it and talk with the parent.

I’d start the play date with a reminder in front of both kids. If it happens again, I’d ask the kid why she was in there and then call her parents and let them know why the play date ended early and you’ll be taking a break for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d talk directly to the kid:

“Larla, I’ve told you not to go into our bedroom. Yet you continue to do it. What’s going on?”

Listen to whatever she says. Then respond with, “If it happens again, the play date is over.”

If she does do it again, then you end it and talk with the parent.

I’d start the play date with a reminder in front of both kids. If it happens again, I’d ask the kid why she was in there and then call her parents and let them know why the play date ended early and you’ll be taking a break for a while.

OMG you guys are harsh. I’m all about the frequent reminders and maybe avoiding indoor playdates with her again, but ending the play date early? It’s not like she slashed your furniture with a knife!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d talk directly to the kid:

“Larla, I’ve told you not to go into our bedroom. Yet you continue to do it. What’s going on?”

Listen to whatever she says. Then respond with, “If it happens again, the play date is over.”

If she does do it again, then you end it and talk with the parent.

I’d start the play date with a reminder in front of both kids. If it happens again, I’d ask the kid why she was in there and then call her parents and let them know why the play date ended early and you’ll be taking a break for a while.

OMG you guys are harsh. I’m all about the frequent reminders and maybe avoiding indoor playdates with her again, but ending the play date early? It’s not like she slashed your furniture with a knife!

Different strokes for different folks. OP asked for ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d talk directly to the kid:

“Larla, I’ve told you not to go into our bedroom. Yet you continue to do it. What’s going on?”

Listen to whatever she says. Then respond with, “If it happens again, the play date is over.”

If she does do it again, then you end it and talk with the parent.

I’d start the play date with a reminder in front of both kids. If it happens again, I’d ask the kid why she was in there and then call her parents and let them know why the play date ended early and you’ll be taking a break for a while.

OMG you guys are harsh. I’m all about the frequent reminders and maybe avoiding indoor playdates with her again, but ending the play date early? It’s not like she slashed your furniture with a knife!

My house, my rules. Staying out of rooms that are off limits isn’t a big ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d talk directly to the kid:

“Larla, I’ve told you not to go into our bedroom. Yet you continue to do it. What’s going on?”

Listen to whatever she says. Then respond with, “If it happens again, the play date is over.”

If she does do it again, then you end it and talk with the parent.

I’d start the play date with a reminder in front of both kids. If it happens again, I’d ask the kid why she was in there and then call her parents and let them know why the play date ended early and you’ll be taking a break for a while.

OMG you guys are harsh. I’m all about the frequent reminders and maybe avoiding indoor playdates with her again, but ending the play date early? It’s not like she slashed your furniture with a knife!

You need to supervise better and enforce rules.

[Anonymous]

Is there something in the room that is a big draw? They are doing fashion shows in the closet with a huge mirror? They are playing with nail polish in yh bathroom? They listen to music and you have the only Alexa?

They should listen regardless but it would be worth trouble shooting why they are in there -- something is fun in there versus they are just being sneaky. If it is interesting in there, maybe you can move that think to a public space for the playdate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d talk directly to the kid:

“Larla, I’ve told you not to go into our bedroom. Yet you continue to do it. What’s going on?”

Listen to whatever she says. Then respond with, “If it happens again, the play date is over.”

If she does do it again, then you end it and talk with the parent.

I’d start the play date with a reminder in front of both kids. If it happens again, I’d ask the kid why she was in there and then call her parents and let them know why the play date ended early and you’ll be taking a break for a while.

Almost the same, but I wouldn’t bother asking the kid why they were in my room- there’s no answer that will make it acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there something in the room that is a big draw? They are doing fashion shows in the closet with a huge mirror? They are playing with nail polish in yh bathroom? They listen to music and you have the only Alexa?

They should listen regardless but it would be worth trouble shooting why they are in there -- something is fun in there versus they are just being sneaky. If it is interesting in there, maybe you can move that think to a public space for the playdate

Oh, I was assuming that this kid was wandering off. If "they" are doing it, like my kid is going into my bedroom with a friend and playing, regardless of whose idea it is?

Then my kid would be done playing for the day. The playdate would be over, and my kid would be alone in their room. Other kid could watch TV until their parents come, or get picked up early, and I'd explain that my kid was the one did not follow my rules. I wouldn't complain about other people's kids not following rules I couldn't get my own kid to follow.

[Anonymous]

I just lock the door. But in general, if a kid repeatedly doesn’t listen they aren’t invited back.