Why should I want my child to go to TJ if he gets in?

[Anonymous]

I had a profoundly gifted child who wasn’t at FCPS due to military assignment of his father for grades 6 and 7. He has autism which FCPS doesn’t recognize as they call it “medical autism” not “educational autism” so he has a 504 not IEP which according to the new metric won’t get him an extra look. He tested well but cannot write. I think he would have tested into TJ but am not sure he will be picked under the new system. If he is, I am honestly not sure I want him there as it seems very discriminatory against minorities and those with disabilities which go against every way I have raised him. He loves life sciences but also history and English and doesn’t want to work hard. As a parent I want to keep his love of learning. Before we know the outcome, if you had a kid like mine what would you choose?

[Anonymous]

DH went to TJ and said it did not set him up well. He doesn't use the word burnout but that's what I think happened. He does not want our (still very young) kids to attend.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how to advise you but maybe hearing about our experience will help. My oldest (daughter) went to TJ; my second child (son) went to our base school. Both are very bright, got exactly the same SAT scores for example. But they had vastly different high school experiences. My daughter had no close friends at TJ despite being an extreme extrovert and a three-sport athlete. TJ kids were not really into partying, and prioritized studying over socialization. My daughter studied 2-3 hours a night, didn't get a lot of sleep, and got a mix of As and Bs, and even a rare C. My son has a handful of close friends despite being an introvert. He rarely studied compared to his sister and got straight As while taking the hardest courses at his school (okay he did study a bit his Junior year). He got a good night's sleep most nights and was free on weekends to play video games. Daughter did not get into her top colleges; son got into his first choice. But, daughter's experience at TJ has put her way in front of the other engineering students at her college; she used her senior project to talk herself into an internship after her freshman year. She says she would not be going into engineering if not for TJ, and thinks it is totally worth it if you want to have a career in science or math. Son agrees with that idea but recognizes how easy he had it in high school and that his easy experience made college admissions a lot easier for him. Anyway, I hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think TJ is a good environment for children. Period. I really like the proposal to change the school to an academy with open enrollment. Provide the same educational opportunities without the current insanity and mental health problems.

[Anonymous]

I would not send my child there with the current culture. It has lost all the things that made it such a special place.

[Anonymous]

Don't bother with this unless he gets in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't bother with this unless he gets in

[Anonymous]

If your kid doesn’t like to work hard then it’s an easy no. It’s not worth the extra stress. My kid is very bright and doesn’t like to work hard either. He likes his easy A’s in regular school with honors and AP classes.

[Anonymous]

If he doesn't want to work hard, find an easy HS. TJ or any other top NOVA school will be difficult for him.

[Anonymous]

I sent an ADHD kid with a 504 through TJ. He loved it. We tolerated it. I’m glad he did it and I’m glad it’s over. I’d say no way for your kid because:

1. Getting many accommodations is a fight. Extra time on tests is fine. But, accommodations that touch on less work or less rigor are just not available. Extensions on turning work in have no practical point because there is so much work. You just end up further and further behind.

2. Doesn’t write well sends chills up my spine. You kid won’t just have to absorb material fast, he’ll have to write a lot and at a high level— both scientific writing and for English. Freshman year, grades in three major classes will be largely based on his IBET paper. . My TJ kid is now in college. I’ll talk to him at 9 pm and he is very blasé about cranking out “only 1000 words” before bed. And the grading is strict.

3. He like to work hard. By junior year, my kid was up until 2 working many nights, then back up at 6:30. The workload is killer.

4. TJ runs on group projects. Most projects are no individual. If your kid can’t work well in groups, it’s going to be a huge problem. The teacher will flunk him and give the rest of the group a B+ if he doesn’t pull his weight.

IDK what “minority” your kid is, so can’t comment on that. I would say my kid did not have an HfA diagnosis, but definitely had some the qualities, like rigidity, difficulty with transition and socially awkward. There’s even a term at TJ for boys with these qualities: members of the marching band/ drama department. He was much better off socially at TJ than he would have been at our base school (where his sibling went).

Your kid sounds like a terrible fit.

[Anonymous]

BTW: I thought writing was still part of the new admissions standards?

[Anonymous]

So your child is rising 8th at a FCPS school? Or rising 9th?

[Anonymous]

OP _ I feel like the way you framed your question gives you your own answer - you don't sound like you think TJ would be a good fit. If you have any doubts, then just have your child apply. If he gets in, that is the time to make a decision. Options are good things.

I would echo what some of the TJ parents said above that may make TJ a difficult fit for your child - many, many group projects, lots of writing, heavy work load that requires time management skills.

I will also stick up for TJ - my son had a great experience there, did not find the atmosphere toxic, was an upper middle of the pack student, loved the engineering classes, played a sport, had a great and diverse group of friends, and got into his first choice college. I am in no way suggesting that their were not unhappy kids there - some because they didn't have a cohort (hopefully admissions changes will improve) and some because of the family pressure to get perfect grades - but that is not the experience of every child.

[Anonymous]

^ there - sorry!

[Anonymous]

My spouse and sibling-in-law both attended TJ. Both were successful, went to top colleges, and have high incomes now in super striver professions.

Neither would send their kids to TJ. In fact I spend $$$$ now to keep DCs in privates at my spouse’s insistence (and in some ways to my chagrin). The pressure cooker sucks.