Why should I want my child to go to TJ if he gets in?

[Anonymous]

He is a rising 9th grader and we find out tomorrow and then go on vacation almost immediately (I thought we would find out sooner a d don’t want to think about on vacation). I am not sure he will get in based on the essay part. He has dysgraphia as part of his autism. He is not coming from a typical feeder school though so I guess he could be in the top 1.5%. His nonverbal IQ scores are 4 standard deviations above the norm. He is not at all interested in engineering. His interests are with biology and geography. My engineering husband finds his math skills to be advanced as he can manipulate numbers quickly and has inherent understanding. Because we lived out of the area for 2 years and came back mid pa Demi’s, he only has one friend who I expect will get into TJ and sill want to attend there. He has zero interest in talking to anyone at his current school and somehow convinced all his teachers he could work alone rather than do group projects.

Overall, he is not very adaptable due to being autistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is a rising 9th grader and we find out tomorrow and then go on vacation almost immediately (I thought we would find out sooner a d don’t want to think about on vacation). I am not sure he will get in based on the essay part. He has dysgraphia as part of his autism. He is not coming from a typical feeder school though so I guess he could be in the top 1.5%. His nonverbal IQ scores are 4 standard deviations above the norm. He is not at all interested in engineering. His interests are with biology and geography. My engineering husband finds his math skills to be advanced as he can manipulate numbers quickly and has inherent understanding. Because we lived out of the area for 2 years and came back mid pa Demi’s, he only has one friend who I expect will get into TJ and sill want to attend there. He has zero interest in talking to anyone at his current school and somehow convinced all his teachers he could work alone rather than do group projects.

Overall, he is not very adaptable due to being autistic.

Dysgraphia + unwillingness to do group projects= a kid who you are setting up to fail at TJ.

They are going to expect a ton of writing. Much of it timed. He might get 1.5 time for writing— but that’s tough, because he has to find time in the school day to finish when he gets extended time. They will not reduced the writing load. Working with the IBET group you are assigned to Freshman year is mandatory. So are many other group projects. Don’t cooperate and pull your weight = flunk.

A 160 NV IQ is great. But what is his Verbal IQ? That is just as important. How is his Processing Speed? My kid had 3 SDs between GAI IQ and PS (ADHD) and it was a significant issue at TJ.

I think you have a real misperception of what TJ is. Advanced math is only one piece. You can make it through TJ without being a math genius. You cannot make it through without being a disciplined writer, being able to work in groups, and having a very strong work ethic.

You also seem very confident your kid will get in. I wouldn’t be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is a rising 9th grader and we find out tomorrow and then go on vacation almost immediately (I thought we would find out sooner a d don’t want to think about on vacation). I am not sure he will get in based on the essay part. He has dysgraphia as part of his autism. He is not coming from a typical feeder school though so I guess he could be in the top 1.5%. His nonverbal IQ scores are 4 standard deviations above the norm. He is not at all interested in engineering. His interests are with biology and geography. My engineering husband finds his math skills to be advanced as he can manipulate numbers quickly and has inherent understanding. Because we lived out of the area for 2 years and came back mid pa Demi’s, he only has one friend who I expect will get into TJ and sill want to attend there. He has zero interest in talking to anyone at his current school and somehow convinced all his teachers he could work alone rather than do group projects.

Overall, he is not very adaptable due to being autistic.

Dysgraphia + unwillingness to do group projects= a kid who you are setting up to fail at TJ.

They are going to expect a ton of writing. Much of it timed. He might get 1.5 time for writing— but that’s tough, because he has to find time in the school day to finish when he gets extended time. They will not reduced the writing load. Working with the IBET group you are assigned to Freshman year is mandatory. So are many other group projects. Don’t cooperate and pull your weight = flunk.

A 160 NV IQ is great. But what is his Verbal IQ? That is just as important. How is his Processing Speed? My kid had 3 SDs between GAI IQ and PS (ADHD) and it was a significant issue at TJ.

I think you have a real misperception of what TJ is. Advanced math is only one piece. You can make it through TJ without being a math genius. You cannot make it through without being a disciplined writer, being able to work in groups, and having a very strong work ethic.

You also seem very confident your kid will get in. I wouldn’t be.

I am not sure he will get in. I think he won’t. I want to be prepared if he does.

Verbal IQ is 129 so more than a two standard deviation spread and 1 point below the gifted threshold in that area.

[Anonymous]

Forgot processing speed….that is incredibly fast. His working memory topped out the tests and his processing speed wasn’t far behind. His ADHD brother basically did the opposite of him on all these metrics. That brother is younger and more socially aware and not interested in TJ despite having a better work ethic. He has had to work harder since his memory and processing are weak so he developed those skills. My older son just naturally does well so he has never learned how to work. As someone who never finished my PhD because I never learned how to work, I see benefit from making him learn that lesson before he is in his mid 20s but as the parent who will need to enforce this, I would rather let him glide along as it is easier for me. Twice exceptionality is not fun and I am jealous of those kids that have to work hard and learn to do it early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forgot processing speed….that is incredibly fast. His working memory topped out the tests and his processing speed wasn’t far behind. His ADHD brother basically did the opposite of him on all these metrics. That brother is younger and more socially aware and not interested in TJ despite having a better work ethic. He has had to work harder since his memory and processing are weak so he developed those skills. My older son just naturally does well so he has never learned how to work. As someone who never finished my PhD because I never learned how to work, I see benefit from making him learn that lesson before he is in his mid 20s but as the parent who will need to enforce this, I would rather let him glide along as it is easier for me. Twice exceptionality is not fun and I am jealous of those kids that have to work hard and learn to do it early.

Maybe look at an IB school if you want some place that is going to require working but not be as intense. IB does require a lot of writing but a regular High School might be easier to work with for accommodations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and sibling-in-law both attended TJ. Both were successful, went to top colleges, and have high incomes now in super striver professions.

Neither would send their kids to TJ. In fact I spend $$$$ now to keep DCs in privates at my spouse’s insistence (and in some ways to my chagrin). The pressure cooker sucks.

DP. I went to TJ and absolutely hope my children will attend one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and sibling-in-law both attended TJ. Both were successful, went to top colleges, and have high incomes now in super striver professions.

Neither would send their kids to TJ. In fact I spend $$$$ now to keep DCs in privates at my spouse’s insistence (and in some ways to my chagrin). The pressure cooker sucks.

DP. I went to TJ and absolutely hope my children will attend one day.

I went to TJ and really hope that my ES aged DD kids is interested unless there are major reforms. Have you been to the school or interacted with the students in the past 5-10 years? It’s incredibly sad, but it’s only a shadow of the TJHSST I graduated from. Our neighbor’s daughter graduated last year and the mom said several times what a sexiest place it was for her white daughter. She was able to get into a T20 university, but had some serious mental health challenges as a result of the isolation from kind, supportive female friends. Not worth it.

[Anonymous]

If nothing else, TJ will make you much more humble about your kid’s abilities. You can rattle off all the high test scores you want. But, as others have pointed out, there are huge red flags. It doesn’t seem like you have any grasp on what TJ entails.

I feel sorry for your kid. HFA/ 2e in HS is hard, without mom dreaming if TJ. And many kids like yours significantly underperform in HS. Brilliant is good and all. But most of HS is just doing the work, on time and according to the rubric. And getting along with others.

The most brilliant kid I know is 2e HFA. He had to leave a top FCPS HS for social and academic reasons and ended up in a private school that caters to LDs. Applied to 10 colleges, all of which DCUM would sneer at. Got into 1: Elon. Burlington Nc, here he comes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH went to TJ and said it did not set him up well. He doesn't use the word burnout but that's what I think happened. He does not want our (still very young) kids to attend.

Well the new admissions should help reduce the toxicity in the current environment and should be a step in the right direction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and sibling-in-law both attended TJ. Both were successful, went to top colleges, and have high incomes now in super striver professions.

Neither would send their kids to TJ. In fact I spend $$$$ now to keep DCs in privates at my spouse’s insistence (and in some ways to my chagrin). The pressure cooker sucks.

DP. I went to TJ and absolutely hope my children will attend one day.

I went to TJ and really hope that my ES aged DD kids is interested unless there are major reforms. Have you been to the school or interacted with the students in the past 5-10 years? It’s incredibly sad, but it’s only a shadow of the TJHSST I graduated from. Our neighbor’s daughter graduated last year and the mom said several times what a sexiest place it was for her white daughter. She was able to get into a T20 university, but had some serious mental health challenges as a result of the isolation from kind, supportive female friends. Not worth it.

PP here, yes I have lots of recent familiarity with TJ. Honestly to me it seems pretty much the same as when I went there, with the exception of additional state-mandated graduation requirements that make it harder to pursue some electives. But that comes from the state, not TJ directly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP _ I feel like the way you framed your question gives you your own answer - you don't sound like you think TJ would be a good fit. If you have any doubts, then just have your child apply. If he gets in, that is the time to make a decision. Options are good things.

I would echo what some of the TJ parents said above that may make TJ a difficult fit for your child - many, many group projects, lots of writing, heavy work load that requires time management skills.

I will also stick up for TJ - my son had a great experience there, did not find the atmosphere toxic, was an upper middle of the pack student, loved the engineering classes, played a sport, had a great and diverse group of friends, and got into his first choice college. I am in no way suggesting that their were not unhappy kids there - some because they didn't have a cohort (hopefully admissions changes will improve) and some because of the family pressure to get perfect grades - but that is not the experience of every child.

+1, if she has to ask and is asking us to convince her, then the answer should be a no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a profoundly gifted child who wasn’t at FCPS due to military assignment of his father for grades 6 and 7. He has autism which FCPS doesn’t recognize as they call it “medical autism” not “educational autism” so he has a 504 not IEP which according to the new metric won’t get him an extra look. He tested well but cannot write. I think he would have tested into TJ but am not sure he will be picked under the new system. If he is, I am honestly not sure I want him there as it seems very discriminatory against minorities and those with disabilities which go against every way I have raised him. He loves life sciences but also history and English and doesn’t want to work hard. As a parent I want to keep his love of learning. Before we know the outcome, if you had a kid like mine what would you choose?

"Doesn't want to work hard" Please don't make him go. He will hate it.

[Anonymous]

Why did you apply and take someone’s seat when you are that unsure? Let someone else attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My spouse and sibling-in-law both attended TJ. Both were successful, went to top colleges, and have high incomes now in super striver professions.

Neither would send their kids to TJ. In fact I spend $$$$ now to keep DCs in privates at my spouse’s insistence (and in some ways to my chagrin). The pressure cooker sucks.

DP. I went to TJ and absolutely hope my children will attend one day.

I went to TJ and really hope that my ES aged DD kids is interested unless there are major reforms. Have you been to the school or interacted with the students in the past 5-10 years? It’s incredibly sad, but it’s only a shadow of the TJHSST I graduated from. Our neighbor’s daughter graduated last year and the mom said several times what a sexiest place it was for her white daughter. She was able to get into a T20 university, but had some serious mental health challenges as a result of the isolation from kind, supportive female friends. Not worth it.

PP here, yes I have lots of recent familiarity with TJ. Honestly to me it seems pretty much the same as when I went there, with the exception of additional state-mandated graduation requirements that make it harder to pursue some electives. But that comes from the state, not TJ directly.

Wait, you mean the EPF class? That’s the only real “state mandated” change in the past 10-15 years. EPF can be taken over a 1-2 week period during the summer or over the school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forgot processing speed….that is incredibly fast. His working memory topped out the tests and his processing speed wasn’t far behind. His ADHD brother basically did the opposite of him on all these metrics. That brother is younger and more socially aware and not interested in TJ despite having a better work ethic. He has had to work harder since his memory and processing are weak so he developed those skills. My older son just naturally does well so he has never learned how to work. As someone who never finished my PhD because I never learned how to work, I see benefit from making him learn that lesson before he is in his mid 20s but as the parent who will need to enforce this, I would rather let him glide along as it is easier for me. Twice exceptionality is not fun and I am jealous of those kids that have to work hard and learn to do it early.

I am intrigued by your comment that you "never learned how to work." I have heard a couple folks say this about themselves or others, and I am really curious what it means. Could you elaborate?