How often does your 10/11 year old boy cry?

[Anonymous]

We have had a really rough year. I won’t go into details but it was pretty traumatic for my almost 11 year old. He’s in therapy, and it seems expected that he’d be fragile, but I still want to get a sense of what kinds of things make other kids cry and how often?

[Anonymous]

3 or 4 times a year. Mostly welling up and then hiding his face. Maybe one of those times is real boo-hooing.

[Anonymous]

Practically never. He's a very calm introverted, person. The only tears he ever shed recently were last spring (2020) when the schools shut down and suddenly every teacher was sending him assignments on a different platform, and he suddenly couldn't keep up.

No tantrums either when he was little. None. Strange, isn't it?

But his sister makes up for it...

[Anonymous]

I have a sensitive kid who is 11 and tears up quite often (he just did this morning), and cries all out at least once or twice a month.

[Anonymous]

Frequently. My kid has always cried quickly. We've done some counseling, mostly for him to figure out how to advocate for himself when he starts feeling emotional, to ask for a water break or a bathroom break, etc., so that he can remove himself from the situation and get himself collected. Teachers have mostly been patient. Kids in 4th and 5th grade can be unkind about the tears, so it's been a hard couple of years. He's made great strides since he was 8 in being able to manage the emotions, but he still cries way more frequently than any other kid in his grade.

[Anonymous]

Mine starts tearing up in anger often, when he feels particularly hard done by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine starts tearing up in anger often, when he feels particularly hard done by.

This is true of mine too. It’s when he’s actually angry or feels like he got in trouble unjustly. Maybe once per month

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old cries in anger and when he’s really upset. Not in public or at school that I’m aware but at home yes. Totally healthy. There are hormones flowing. Once a month I’d say on average, more if I take his screens away “unjustly”.

[Anonymous]

Twice a week.

[Anonymous]

My 11yo dd almost never cries. Maybe once a year? I’m sorry your ds is going through a rough time. Crying is normal for some people but he does sound like he needs a lot of support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Practically never. He's a very calm introverted, person. The only tears he ever shed recently were last spring (2020) when the schools shut down and suddenly every teacher was sending him assignments on a different platform, and he suddenly couldn't keep up.

No tantrums either when he was little. None. Strange, isn't it?

But his sister makes up for it...

I have a similarly pretty calm extrovert who never had a single tantrum as a little kid.

[Anonymous]

OP here,

Thank you all for your thoughts. It sounds like he's probably within the normal range of frequency, but it's still more than it was for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

Thank you all for your thoughts. It sounds like he's probably within the normal range of frequency, but it's still more than it was for him.

I’m sorry he had a particularly rough year. I’m a pp with a son who also cries a lot, but he has no trauma. Sending you both hugs today.

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind that boys can start the puberty process as early as 10. Often one of the signs looking back will be that your son was more unpredictably moody or had more emotional outbursts than usual.

Our son is almost 11.5 and he'll have outbursts that are typically the result of conflict with us over boundaries, frustration, anger. Maybe once a month. We had a rough 6 month patch which coincided with a growth spurt and confirmation from his ped that he had started puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that boys can start the puberty process as early as 10. Often one of the signs looking back will be that your son was more unpredictably moody or had more emotional outbursts than usual.

Our son is almost 11.5 and he'll have outbursts that are typically the result of conflict with us over boundaries, frustration, anger. Maybe once a month. We had a rough 6 month patch which coincided with a growth spurt and confirmation from his ped that he had started puberty.

This should have said he's almost 12.