has your kid every been strongly advised to leave a school

[Anonymous]

my young kid just was and it was out of the blue with very minimal communication about minor concerns this year than bam "we're not sure we can serve him well and would all be failing him to continue to try to force him into an environment that doesn't work for him....but of course he's welcome....."

i'm confused, angry, stressed about what to do now given how close we are to the next school year etc. Not looking to dive into my situation, just looking for others to not feel so alone

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. Was this totally out of the blue or had they raised issues earlier? How old is your child?

My child attended a PK-8 school for PK. It was clear all year that my child was struggling there and by the end of the year we were asked not to come back. But through our struggles that year, my child was diagnosed with autism, we got him set up with appropriate services, and found a much better school. It was a really difficult year and I cried more that year than any other time, but it ended up being the best thing for my child and the whole family.

But it sucks to go through.

[Anonymous]

OP the phrase, "counseling out" wouldn't exist if it wasn't a common enough phenomenon. Good schools don't spring it out of nowhere though. Also, FYI good privates will help the child find a place to land. It's late in the year for the news to come. Is there a special need at play that would be better served in a specific other school, or a public school?

[Anonymous]

Yes, it happened to my kindergarten student. It was completely out of the blue and so heartless, the class had a substitute teacher who couldn't deal with boisterous boys but never told us, not even once, that she had any problem with my son. It was right after the deadline to apply to other privates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it happened to my kindergarten student. It was completely out of the blue and so heartless, the class had a substitute teacher who couldn't deal with boisterous boys but never told us, not even once, that she had any problem with my son. It was right after the deadline to apply to other privates.

That’s awful. I hope you found a good school.

[Anonymous]

Happened to us. My suggestion is to leave gracefully so in the future you don't have to say you're child was expelled or thrown out of a school. It sounds like at this point, they haven't asked you to leave exactly... so you can honestly say no if future applications ask about it. You don't want your child in a school that isn't equipped for their needs. It will be hard on the kid and hard on you in the long run. I'm sorry. It hurts.

[Anonymous]

DD after first grade. They suspected she had a learning disability and she does. We got her into a great LD school and she’s flourishing. We’ll be forever grateful to her first school for alerting us.

[Anonymous]

Did they say why?

[Anonymous]

OP, are you the same poster/parent of the 4-year-old who was destroying other kids' work at Montessori?

If so they are right and it's in your son's best interest to move on.


Even if it isn't it's still best to move on you want your kid to thrive at school, go where you and he are wanted and he can thrive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did they say why?

+1. The “why?” Is the key element.

[Anonymous]

my bet is the school suspects a learning/social/emotional difference they cant service. they wont say it. get your child evaluated so you know what he needs to thrive and can find the right place

[Anonymous]

Op here - thanks for those sharing your stories. My kid is 6 and the story now is that he struggles with following directions. They claim they’ve tried everything yet never mentioned a thing of this to us. Yes of course I will pull him (who wants their kid to suffer someplace they’re not wanted) and get professional guidance…I’m just flabbergasted a school would do this at the very end of the year without tons of convos and collaboration in advance and far fast the opportunity to evaluate and apply for options that could be a better fit. I honestly believed a “good” school would be better partner than this

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP.

I think the school could have done a better job keeping you informed on your child’s issues. My quests is that they didn’t have time during the short covid year.

Definitely get him a complete evaluation to know where he would learn best.

[Anonymous]

Nearly. My ex-preemie had a global developmental delay and was enrolled at a Montessori preschool, where he could not follow directions or seem to understand anything... until the director took him under her wing and really started customizing instruction for him. It could have gone both ways. I was ready for her to say that he had to leave, but this wonderful woman instead decided to go above and beyond to cater to his needs. Years later he was diagnosed with severe ADHD and several other things. My son is now 16 and is doing very well - I remember this Montessori teacher fondly and I'm so grateful for her efforts. She passed away recently and we are sending flowers and donations in her honor.

All this to say that this is a blessing in disguise, OP. Place him where he will be valued and well treated. If he has not yet been evaluated, perhaps your doctor can recommend someone. Just be aware that there is a waiting list for the most in-demand psychologists and developmental pediatricians. From your description, there might be some ADHD going on, but maybe other thing as well. Also keep in mind that 6 is very young, and if he receives a diagnosis, it might change or become more specific over time.

[Anonymous]

Hugs to you OP. Its so infuriating that schools do this so late in the year so you can't even get a decent chance to apply out!