What does it mean when a man touches your cheek?

[Anonymous]

Someone I know professionally made a move like wiping a tear from under my eye (twice) and then gently and briefly cupped the side of my face/cheekbone.

Is this a hella flirty move or what??? How would you read it?

[Anonymous]

He was testing your reaction. Definitely making a move on you.

[Anonymous]

This happened with someone you have a professional relationship with? Yeah, no. That’s inappropriate if it happened in the workplace. If you were dating, that’s different.

[Anonymous]

Married or unmarried?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Married or unmarried?

When has that ever mattered? He is either treating you like a child or making a move on you. In either case, unprofessional and bad for you.

[Anonymous]

Gross , covid

[Anonymous]

Back away. This is unprofessional and creepy.

[Anonymous]

Not necessarily creepy or predatory, but it’s not acceptable in the American workplace. Personally I think this gesture comes from an impulse of kindness and a wish to comfort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was testing your reaction. Definitely making a move on you.

This. I've been on the receiving end before at work and I am so sorry that this is happening to you.

In my case, I had to quit my job and move to a different company. I hope that you can manage this and protect your career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


Not necessarily creepy or predatory, but it’s not acceptable in the American workplace. Personally I think this gesture comes from an impulse of kindness and a wish to comfort.

It is creepy and predatory. Period.

[Anonymous]

sexual harassment.

[Anonymous]

Okay, you know him in a professional capacity, but was this your boss? Or was it just a coworker or somebody at a different company? And was it at a work function or somewhere else? Those would matter in determining if it was unprofessional.

Anyway, he was putting the moves on for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


Not necessarily creepy or predatory, but it’s not acceptable in the American workplace. Personally I think this gesture comes from an impulse of kindness and a wish to comfort.

NP. Gestures need context. You have zero context to say what's in bold above PP. Certainly this gesture can be kind and comforting--in certain contexts. If the OP's business colleague did this impulsively because, say, OP was crying unexpectedly at work over a sudden bereavement, and the colleague is a very empathetic, emotional person who reaches out to comfort others and touched without thinking, well, that's one thing. Still not appropriate in a work setting, but potentially somewhat understandable (though adding the cheek-cupping is indeed too far). But if the colleague just did it during any normal interaction, it is beyond inappropriate.

See what I mean about context?

OP, we know so little about what happened that it's impossible to give you a read. Objectively speaking, barring unusual and highly emotional circumstances, what you describe is inappropriate and extremely unprofessional. But we don't know if you and the person you "know professionally" were in a professional setting, or were out drinking together and the conversation got emotional/sad, or flirty or whatever.

It still would be wrong in the latter case if unwelcome, and frankly, going out drinking to the point of high emotion/flirting/etc. with a professional contact or colleague is...well, potentially fouling your own nest, if you know what I mean. Not saying you DID that. Just using it as an example. Things get into gray areas when people go out socially with work contacts, and that's something to avoid.

I wonder, OP, because you intentionally gave no context -- did you actually like/want this level of touch, or are you saying it was wrong? I don't see how anyone could mistake it for anything other than inappropriate between colleagues or work contacts/clients/customers. Unless the touch were in a situation outside work AND were welcomed. It is not clear whether you find it "hella flirty" because it was unexpected and unwelcome, or because you might be interested in this person, to be blunt.

[Anonymous]

I like him...A LOT! How can I let him know? I am clueless about fllirting.

He is not my boss. I can't go into the details. But suffice it to say I have a huge crush on this guy and I can't help but hope he likes me back. I might have been a little bit sad before this happened, but nothing too obvious. But it's hard to know if his actions were due to fondness/comforting or attraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like him...A LOT! How can I let him know? I am clueless about fllirting.

He is not my boss. I can't go into the details. But suffice it to say I have a huge crush on this guy and I can't help but hope he likes me back. I might have been a little bit sad before this happened, but nothing too obvious. But it's hard to know if his actions were due to fondness/comforting or attraction.

Yay! You can’t know for sure for sure, that’s just life, so I would just keep hanging out with him and show interest and see where it goes.