Teen depression and letters to friends

[Anonymous]

DD 14 sent goodbye letters to her friends.

Friends mother phoned me immediately, it was 4am.

DD said she waited until friends were asleep then sent the messages. That was it, no plans of method or anything but said she has been feeling bad about who she is since January.

She recently had a bad friend experience where she was dropped suddenly and we moved last year but other than that things are steady. She did seem more depressed when she found out she has to go back to school online for awhile but there is other stuff going on inside.

I don't know what to do, please help if you have been through this or know what to do.

[Anonymous]

First, I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so hard to hear your child struggling and not k ow what to do

I suggest you address the letters head on and try to talk about it with her. She may not, but use the opportunity to tell her how much you care and this is serious. I would also suggest you discuss finding a therapist for her to talk to ASAP that will help her work through her depression. Don’t sweep this under the rug. The faster you address this the faster you can help her

[Anonymous]

You need a therapist and a psychiatrist ASAP.

Depression does not need a trigger when it is a chemical imbalance.

This was a cry for help, she needs help finding the right doctors to get her medical help.

Start with your pediatrician today to get referrals.

[Anonymous]

That’s frightening. Take her to her doctor today.

[Anonymous]

I've been in similar experiences with one of my kids and also I worked with families who had children that committed suicide. I would immediately take my child to the emergency room for evaluation. What she did is really serious and she may not be telling you the truth about not having a plan.

One thing I learned when working with families is this. Every single one of them said they never saw it coming yet, as a professional, when I heard their stories, the risk was evident. They wanted to believe it couldn't happen in their family, not to their child. Your story screams of this. If she doesn't need the hospital, no harm done. But if you don't take her and she did need the hospital, you all will never be the same.

FWIW, I have taken my child to crisis and the ER on many occasions. Only once was he not admitted and then two days later, he tried to kill himself.

[Anonymous]

Please take all steps above AND lock up all pills and “sharps” which includes knives, scissors, box cutters, razors and extra blades, etc. This includes anything in your own bathroom. You can tell her you are doing this to keep her safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please take all steps above AND lock up all pills and “sharps” which includes knives, scissors, box cutters, razors and extra blades, etc. This includes anything in your own bathroom. You can tell her you are doing this to keep her safe.

And search her room. My brother had hidden stashes.

[Anonymous]

In case you’re in MoCo

https://www.montgomerycountymd.gov/HHS-Program/Program.aspx?id=BHCS/BHCS24hrcrisiscenter-p204.html

Make sure your dd knows she can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 when she’s feeling like this. They even have a chat feature if she doesn’t want to talk on the phone. She doesn’t have to have a plan or be ready to implement anything to talk to them.

Big hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been in similar experiences with one of my kids and also I worked with families who had children that committed suicide. I would immediately take my child to the emergency room for evaluation. What she did is really serious and she may not be telling you the truth about not having a plan.

One thing I learned when working with families is this. Every single one of them said they never saw it coming yet, as a professional, when I heard their stories, the risk was evident. They wanted to believe it couldn't happen in their family, not to their child. Your story screams of this. If she doesn't need the hospital, no harm done. But if you don't take her and she did need the hospital, you all will never be the same.

FWIW, I have taken my child to crisis and the ER on many occasions. Only once was he not admitted and then two days later, he tried to kill himself.

My heart goes out to and your son. Thank you for sharing your personal experience. You have helped people in doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been in similar experiences with one of my kids and also I worked with families who had children that committed suicide. I would immediately take my child to the emergency room for evaluation. What she did is really serious and she may not be telling you the truth about not having a plan.

One thing I learned when working with families is this. Every single one of them said they never saw it coming yet, as a professional, when I heard their stories, the risk was evident. They wanted to believe it couldn't happen in their family, not to their child. Your story screams of this. If she doesn't need the hospital, no harm done. But if you don't take her and she did need the hospital, you all will never be the same.

FWIW, I have taken my child to crisis and the ER on many occasions. Only once was he not admitted and then two days later, he tried to kill himself.

My heart goes out to and your son. Thank you for sharing your personal experience. You have helped people in doing so.

+1 thank you for sharing. When my sister faced a similar situation with her 15 year old she brought her to the ER and the admitted her for a 3 day observation. She used that time to find a therapist and they drove directly from the hospital to the therapist. My sister and I stayed with my niece 24/7 for about 5-7 weeks (yes, that was very difficult to manage as single mothers - but the alternative is unthinkable). School was of course looped in and she was able to stay with her class by spreading the work over the summer.

Best wishes, op.

Also - HUGE props to the mom who called ASAP. That’s what is meant by ‘it takes a community’.

[Anonymous]

I did this and was taken to the ER and placed in a psych ward for 4 days. Outpatient and an ongoing psychiatrist to follow.

[Anonymous]

This is not a "get on a waiting list for a therapist" situation. This is a "go straight to your pediatrician and get a referral for someone who can help RIGHT NOW" situation.

Tell them on the phone exactly what's going on, so they can evaluate and advise properly. Don't downplay out of embarrassment or discomfort. Nobody wants to think this could happen in their own family, but it's absolutely not a reflection on you or your daughter.

And yes, definitely safeguard your house in the meantime, as the PPs mentioned. All the love and support in the world can't override the lies told by the brain of a person with clinical depression.

[Anonymous]

OP HUGS.

The mom that called you is a special person.

[Anonymous]

I would finally add that social media needs to be deleted while she works through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not a "get on a waiting list for a therapist" situation. This is a "go straight to your pediatrician and get a referral for someone who can help RIGHT NOW" situation.

Tell them on the phone exactly what's going on, so they can evaluate and advise properly. Don't downplay out of embarrassment or discomfort. Nobody wants to think this could happen in their own family, but it's absolutely not a reflection on you or your daughter.

And yes, definitely safeguard your house in the meantime, as the PPs mentioned. All the love and support in the world can't override the lies told by the brain of a person with clinical depression.

This. Right away.