Options for elderly dog

[Anonymous]

Okay, flame away but we are at our wits end with our elderly dog and need to figure out an alternate solution before it completely breaks us. We’ve had her since she was a puppy and she has always been a great dog, but over that time we have had two children, one of whom is special needs, had to relocate to an apartment due to spouse’s job loss and are currently dealing with marital issues and a number of other stressors. In the meantime the dog has gotten elderly and developed bladder issues, barks to be taken out pretty much every hour, including throughout the night, and despite that constantly urinates throughout the house. We have taken her to multiple vets without a concrete diagnosis/solution and can’t afford to spend more money on testing but she doesn’t appear to be in pain. It’s gotten to the point that we just resent her, constantly bicker/are miserable about the situation, and on top of all the current stressors are at a tipping point. I know people are going to lambast me for trying to turn my back on a pet in its old age and given her issues don’t think rehoming is a realistic option but I feel like if something doesn’t give our family will crumble. Would really appreciate any suggestions of possible options.

[Anonymous]

My SIL's family fenced their back yard and put in a half-door sized pet door flap that the dog could use to go in and out himself whenever he needed to pee. That worked pretty well.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you have made up your mind and want reassurance that having the dog put down is OK, right?

[Anonymous]

We did dog diapers for a while. They did not work all that well but our dog was large and immobile and they tended to bunch up. Then of course you have to change them frequently and dogs are not all that easy to keep clean. I could maybe see a belly band working better for small pee accidents for a male dog. It’s worth a try if you feel like the dog is doing well except for incontinence. But if the dog is agitated, barking, etc. seems like there is more going on.

[Anonymous]

Contain the dog when you need to in an area with puppy pads. Put a piece of linoleum on the floor, with a crate if your dog likes having a retreat or just a bed and water inside a playpen.

Or put the dog down. Please don’t dump this dog in some “rehoming” situation.

[Anonymous]

Definitely try diapers

[Anonymous]

Just give the dog a last good day and euthanize. It is better that she is not in a crisis situation, but, it seems to make the decision harder. It is easier on the owners if the dog is in a crisis rather than a gradual decline, but, you need to do it anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you have made up your mind and want reassurance that having the dog put down is OK, right?

No- I honestly don’t have a plan, just grasping for options. I really don’t think I would be able to euthanize her when she doesn’t seem to be in pain. I wish we knew someone we could give her to with a fenced backyard/dog door setup like a pp described but we don’t have any family/friends that would fit the bill. I assume if we surrendered her to a rescue (if that’s even a possibility) she would still probably end up being put down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you have made up your mind and want reassurance that having the dog put down is OK, right?

No- I honestly don’t have a plan, just grasping for options. I really don’t think I would be able to euthanize her when she doesn’t seem to be in pain. I wish we knew someone we could give her to with a fenced backyard/dog door setup like a pp described but we don’t have any family/friends that would fit the bill. I assume if we surrendered her to a rescue (if that’s even a possibility) she would still probably end up being put down?

Yes, she would, and she would be confused and alone when it happened, please don't do that. Take her yourself or better have the vet come to your home.

[Anonymous]

You need to put your own feelings aside and euthanize her. She may not be in pain but she is clearly not happy. There is no way she wants to urinate all over your house.

[Anonymous]

How old is “old”, what breed and where are you in the DMV? A shelter or a rescue organization might be an alternative to euthanasia if can you truly can no longer take care of it. I would call some and see what they have to say. Happy to provide some recommendations. Bottom line for me is quality of life when they get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you have made up your mind and want reassurance that having the dog put down is OK, right?

No- I honestly don’t have a plan, just grasping for options. I really don’t think I would be able to euthanize her when she doesn’t seem to be in pain. I wish we knew someone we could give her to with a fenced backyard/dog door setup like a pp described but we don’t have any family/friends that would fit the bill. I assume if we surrendered her to a rescue (if that’s even a possibility) she would still probably end up being put down?

I was all ready to type an all caps comment about what I think of you for even contemplating tossing your elderly dog who has been loyal to you since she was a puppy into a shelter or rescue because you can’t deal with her being elderly.

PLEASE don’t do that. If you can’t cope with the needs of an elderly dog, if she’s making your life miserable and you are all no doubt exuding hostility that she can sense, have the decency to take her to the vet for euthanasia. PLEASE! YOU OWE HER THAT. Be nice to her for a couple of days, take her out for a doggy ice cream and send her over the rainbow bridge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to put your own feelings aside and euthanize her. She may not be in pain but she is clearly not happy. There is no way she wants to urinate all over your house.

OP here- so is this really a acceptable/common reason for euthanizing? First time dog owner so I don’t have a lot of context but I definitely struggle with the idea-especially since she doesn’t seem to be in pain. At the same time I don’t know how we can handle possibly years of this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to put your own feelings aside and euthanize her. She may not be in pain but she is clearly not happy. There is no way she wants to urinate all over your house.

This! I should have euthanize my cat earlier but I was a wimp. She peed on herself a few days and it still upset me 10 years later. There was no way she would have peed outside the cat box if she could have helped herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to put your own feelings aside and euthanize her. She may not be in pain but she is clearly not happy. There is no way she wants to urinate all over your house.

OP here- so is this really a acceptable/common reason for euthanizing? First time dog owner so I don’t have a lot of context but I definitely struggle with the idea-especially since she doesn’t seem to be in pain. At the same time I don’t know how we can handle possibly years of this situation.

Yes, incontinence is considered by most people to be an acceptable reason to euthanize an elderly dog. Especially if it is combined with dementia or other loss of function.