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Infertility Support and Discussion
Do you announce you're TTC?
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Anonymous
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DH and I have been happily married for a few years and we just now decided to start a family. Do you announce this to family and friends?
Both of our families hinted at grandchildren initially when we got married, but we sorta shrugged it off. Our friends with babies/kids would occassionally ask if we were going to start a family, but again, we just shrugged it off and came up with some witty response. And nobody has really asked us in about 5 years. But now that we are TTC and we are trying to have a family I was wondering if we should say something. Then again, I worry that maybe it's TMI, or it would cause repetitive "are you pregnant yet?" questions from my MIL, or it may take a long time and it would deflate any potential excitement of a new arrival. So, at Easter brunch in a few weeks - while we're all sitting around the table with our family and friends, should DH and I make an announcement? Is that weird? Do you think people stop caring since they haven't asked us in years? What did you do? |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't do it for all the reasons you mentioned. First, it does smack of TMI. "Hey everyone, we're now having sex with a purpose." We didn't tell anyone we were TTC and when we did get pregnant everyone was thrilled. Fortunately for us, they were also incredibly supportive when we had to terminate that pregnancy. Now it is two years later and we haven't been able to get pregnant again and we are seeing an RE.
I would tell when there is news to share. |
Anonymous
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i woudn't either. less is more...
what if you end up having a hard time getting pregnant? my family unfortunately knew the entire time we were going thru fertility treatments and it was stressful because they all had their opinions, diagnosis, questions, & it made it very difficult. if i do it all over again, i wouldn't say a thing. |
Anonymous
| You should announce it only if you want people continually asking you if you're pregnant yet. If it takes a while, that will get old reeeeeally fast. |
Anonymous
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If you were my relative, I'd say, please, please, don't make an announcement like that at Easter brunch! It is truly TMI.
One-on-one is different. If someone happens to ask you, you can tell whatever you like. Or you can allude to it casually with close friends or family members in private conversation. "You know, DH and I are feeling ready to start thinking about kids." That's probably specific enough. No one really wants to have in mind the fact that you are "trying". |
Anonymous
| Tacky, self important, and TMI. |
Anonymous
Yes. Very weird. |
Anonymous
| It's really exciting when you start trying, but keep in mind that you never know how things will play out and you don't want people constantly watching you (to see if you're drinking) and asking about it, especially if it ends up taking a long time. I remember how excited I was when we started trying and part of me wanted to tell friends/family, but I am so glad I didn't. It ended up taking about 18 months (eight of them going through IUIs/IVF) and at that point I really did not feel like sharing beyond a small group. I hope that you have an easier time than many of the people on this board, but I would think long and hard about telling people just in case. |
Anonymous
OP, ignore ugly, mean, judgmental posters like these. Just be careful with what and how much you share because your family and friends may continue to ask you how things are going. And hopefully you will have luck soon and it will be OK, but if it takes longer then the questioning may become stressful for you. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| excuse my ignorance but what does TTC stand for? |
Anonymous
| I'm in the same boat as the OP. I just tell people that we're thinking about eventually trying to start a family and leave it at that..IF they ask. Now that the questions have died down, I'm not really interested in hearing "are you pregnant yet" over and over again. |
Anonymous
TTC= Trying To Conceive |
Anonymous
| you never know how long it is going to take and if problems with conceiving could happen. If people know you are trying, you will be constantly asked "how's it going"....if it is taking a long time to happen, people asking you will only annoy and upset you. Save the big announcement for when you are pregnant. |
Anonymous
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No! Since we had trouble it was too sensitive and too upsetting to really talk about. Save the big announcement for when you actually are pregnant.
Good luck! 
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Anonymous
| Announcing it seems to invite people into your sex life. Don't do it. If it takes you awhile, it is stressful enough. The more people know, the more awkward it can become. |