When to give up potty training and re-diaper for a bit, versus stay the course?

[Anonymous]

My son is exactly 2. We started Oh Crap-style potty training this past weekend (plus little rewards). He did pretty well between Friday afternoon and Sunday -- about 10 pees in the potty (but with LOTS of coaxing), about 2-3 pee accidents, and two poop accidents. Yesterday and today with his nanny has been a different story -- he's been wild, clingy to me, seems alternatively petrified of the potty and will have accidents, and then a few times he will pee in the potty calmly and happily. Still has not pooped in the potty once (he's not constipated though, he just poops on the floor).

Should we press on? Or does it seem like he's not ready?

First timer over here, appreciate the advice.

[Anonymous]

I say as long as the times he is terrified and brief and he is over them quickly, keep going.

[Anonymous]

Five days with a caretaker switch in there? And some success?

I'd give it more time. I'd probably give up next Monday (after another weekend with you) if there hasn't been major progress.

[Anonymous]

Well, keep going, but don’t make it into a power struggle. Maybe dangle a big reward for full potty training, like a big boy bed or any underwear he wants or whatever floats his boat. In my experience the sweet spot is between 2.5 - 3 though.

[Anonymous]

Why does he poop on the floor? With oh crap you (or nanny) need to watch him like a hawk and run and catch the poop with the potty and then celebrate.

Also you shouldn't be doing ANY coaxing to go on the potty. Oh crap is about zero pressure and it is important to stay neutral with the only exception being to celebrate their success. You're supposed to watch him like a hawk and run and put the potty under him when he pees, neutrally say "pee goes on the potty", then celebrate and give him a reward.

That's why oh crap is so exhausting, but very successful in 2-3 days if done right. Language is key.

I'd say give up for now, read up on the method, and try again in 6 months.

[Anonymous]

we tried this when my DS was about 2 1/2, and it sounded very similar to your experience. It wasn't so much that he wasn't getting that he was supposed to go in the potty, but he was just so clingy and sad. We kept at it for about 2 weeks, and he did ok, but was still having trouble with poops. We gave up, put him back in a pullup, and he was immediately happier. About 3 months later he was fully trained, including at night, without a struggle.

[Anonymous]

We had a nightmare week trying to do Oh Crap at age 2. DD just wasn't getting it, even naked for a week. We called it quits and I've never regretted it. She potty trained easily at 3. By that age she could understand rewards and how to earn them.

Oh Crap is great for a lot of kids, but it didn't work for us. And that turned out to be just fine.

[Anonymous]

just 2 is pretty young - wait till they show signs of being dry after a nap.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Day six update: we're calling it quits.

Just hoping this wasn't all for nothing and the knowledge will build on itself when we try again down the line.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry you’re quitting, OP. We made this mistake with our oldest and he didn’t toilet train for poop until after 4. We had a very rough five days with our second son at 22 months and then it clicked and he’s had maybe three accidents total in the last two years.

We also upped the rewards with our second son - little cars in a bag that he could choose after peeing or pooping on potty.

[Anonymous]

We started/quit potty training with our 2.5 yo DD several months ago. It was just so stressful for her and she was really freaking out about it. Now she's 3 and we're just easing back into it. She will now reliably hold her pee when we're out and about (even if she's in a pull-up) but sometimes around dinner will ask for a pull-up, especially if she needs to poop. It gets a little better all the time and I fully expect in a few months she'll have made the full transition, and it's so much better with her essentially leading us than us trying to force it. OP, I think you've made the right choice to step back where you are and to try again later.

[Anonymous]

OP again. It's so hard to know what the right move is because on the one hand, he can absolutely hold his bladder and, after these few days, always tells us when he has to pee or poop. The problem is that he will not do it -- he's terrified of the potty. So he just holds it and becomes so stressed and sad and uncomfortable. Eventually, after many minutes, he'll either pee in the potty randomly, or will have an accident (where I know he doesn't fully empty his bladder, he stops midway to continue holding it once he realizes), and it will really upset him. It just makes me think he's a bit too young to understand.

We upped the rewards, too. It helped a little, but then stopped working. He's just still so hot and cold with it, at best. But the reason I'm leaning towards calling it off is that he's just not his happy sweet self. He seems stressed, honestly.

[Anonymous]

I know pull-ups get a bad rap, but I found them really helpful when our first erffort at potty training (a week of Oh Crap, truly the most miserable experience we had as parents) failed. I think it's true that a low-pressure environment is key, and for me, personally, it was a lot easier to create that with pull ups. She had the option to use the potty (and she eventually did start to do so regularly!), but it was no big deal if she didn't. She is pretty much trained now, five months after our first attempt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It's so hard to know what the right move is because on the one hand, he can absolutely hold his bladder and, after these few days, always tells us when he has to pee or poop. The problem is that he will not do it -- he's terrified of the potty. So he just holds it and becomes so stressed and sad and uncomfortable. Eventually, after many minutes, he'll either pee in the potty randomly, or will have an accident (where I know he doesn't fully empty his bladder, he stops midway to continue holding it once he realizes), and it will really upset him. It just makes me think he's a bit too young to understand.

We upped the rewards, too. It helped a little, but then stopped working. He's just still so hot and cold with it, at best. But the reason I'm leaning towards calling it off is that he's just not his happy sweet self. He seems stressed, honestly.

I would absolutely not stop. It's the first rule in the oh crap book. You need to commit mentally, no more diapers. Then your kid will believe you.

[Anonymous]

Our daughter was afraid of pooping on the potty (would cry, hold it in). We decided to stick with it and after a few weeks she got adjusted. It was definitely stressful for us and her but I’m glad we stuck it out.