When to give up potty training and re-diaper for a bit, versus stay the course?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Day six update: we're calling it quits.

Just hoping this wasn't all for nothing and the knowledge will build on itself when we try again down the line.

Don’t quit OP! Dont! It is so much harder to restart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It's so hard to know what the right move is because on the one hand, he can absolutely hold his bladder and, after these few days, always tells us when he has to pee or poop. The problem is that he will not do it -- he's terrified of the potty. So he just holds it and becomes so stressed and sad and uncomfortable. Eventually, after many minutes, he'll either pee in the potty randomly, or will have an accident (where I know he doesn't fully empty his bladder, he stops midway to continue holding it once he realizes), and it will really upset him. It just makes me think he's a bit too young to understand.

We upped the rewards, too. It helped a little, but then stopped working. He's just still so hot and cold with it, at best. But the reason I'm leaning towards calling it off is that he's just not his happy sweet self. He seems stressed, honestly.

It is stressful. He’s learning something new, and big! It isn’t easy.

Do you think it’ll be easier when he’s 2.5? 3? 4? Read this forum long enough and you’ll find 3+ Year olds who refuse to poop on the potty. It is stressful OP but don’t quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we tried this when my DS was about 2 1/2, and it sounded very similar to your experience. It wasn't so much that he wasn't getting that he was supposed to go in the potty, but he was just so clingy and sad. We kept at it for about 2 weeks, and he did ok, but was still having trouble with poops. We gave up, put him back in a pullup, and he was immediately happier. About 3 months later he was fully trained, including at night, without a struggle.

+ 1. We tried again right before DS turned 3 and he was trained, including at night, with no struggle or tears. Some kids just need longer. Go with your gut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It's so hard to know what the right move is because on the one hand, he can absolutely hold his bladder and, after these few days, always tells us when he has to pee or poop. The problem is that he will not do it -- he's terrified of the potty. So he just holds it and becomes so stressed and sad and uncomfortable. Eventually, after many minutes, he'll either pee in the potty randomly, or will have an accident (where I know he doesn't fully empty his bladder, he stops midway to continue holding it once he realizes), and it will really upset him. It just makes me think he's a bit too young to understand.

We upped the rewards, too. It helped a little, but then stopped working. He's just still so hot and cold with it, at best. But the reason I'm leaning towards calling it off is that he's just not his happy sweet self. He seems stressed, honestly.

It is stressful. He’s learning something new, and big! It isn’t easy.

Do you think it’ll be easier when he’s 2.5? 3? 4? Read this forum long enough and you’ll find 3+ Year olds who refuse to poop on the potty. It is stressful OP but don’t quit.

+1 I can't imagine dealing with my 3 year old who negotiates every minute of his day and PT'ing. He's been potty trained since 20 months, before he could express his toddler tyranny in words.

[Anonymous]

OP again. He has been so much happier and more calm since we put pants and a diaper back on him, and he's asked to go pee and poop in the potty a few times and has done it happily and successfully. His diaper has mostly stayed dry. Maybe it was a panicked feeling of having no pants on? So maybe we keep it going, but in a diaper for a few more days, and then in underwear?

[Anonymous]

I'm going against the grain here and saying it's fine. My brother went through something similar with my nephew and the second attempt went much better.

Oh Crap works great for some kids but it's not some magic universal bible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going against the grain here and saying it's fine. My brother went through something similar with my nephew and the second attempt went much better.

Oh Crap works great for some kids but it's not some magic universal bible.

I agree. We did Oh Crap, and ran into a similar hurdle as the OP where DD would hold it all day then pee or poop in her nap/bedtime diaper, or pee all over the floor. We pushed through, and there were lots of tears involved. It's a lot of work. I'll never know if we made it harder than it had to be, maybe she would have trained easily in another 6 months. Maybe we would have hit another stubborn wall.

OP, if you're finding a way that seems to be working. Stick with it. If you put him in underwear and he starts having accidents, maybe try doing just loose pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. He has been so much happier and more calm since we put pants and a diaper back on him, and he's asked to go pee and poop in the potty a few times and has done it happily and successfully. His diaper has mostly stayed dry. Maybe it was a panicked feeling of having no pants on? So maybe we keep it going, but in a diaper for a few more days, and then in underwear?

You guys are doing fine! Maybe if he keeps doing well, let him pick out some underwear to try, when he's ready.

[Anonymous]

We just trained our 25 month old and it was incredibly easy. He is also almost always dry at night. I thought bus were harder to potty train (I have 2 older girls), but this was not my experience. I did not read any books and my son always had his pants and underwear on (we bought underwear when he peed in the potty the first time). He just got it and we made a huge deal about it at the beginning. I gave him a little car with every poop for the first 2 weeks. We just complimented him a lot, bought 5 little plastic potties (1 per floor and 1 for the car).

He hasn’t had an accident after the first 2-3 days. It has only been a month so I worry he might go back... it sure.

I have to say that my girls were easy too and they were all potty trained at the same age with zero issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. It's so hard to know what the right move is because on the one hand, he can absolutely hold his bladder and, after these few days, always tells us when he has to pee or poop. The problem is that he will not do it -- he's terrified of the potty. So he just holds it and becomes so stressed and sad and uncomfortable. Eventually, after many minutes, he'll either pee in the potty randomly, or will have an accident (where I know he doesn't fully empty his bladder, he stops midway to continue holding it once he realizes), and it will really upset him. It just makes me think he's a bit too young to understand.

We upped the rewards, too. It helped a little, but then stopped working. He's just still so hot and cold with it, at best. But the reason I'm leaning towards calling it off is that he's just not his happy sweet self. He seems stressed, honestly.

Good job OP continuing would have likely led to withholding.