Your kid got in but you know they aren’t ready
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Anonymous
| Who makes the call? |
Anonymous
The one writing the checks. |
Anonymous
| Why do you think your child isn’t ready? |
Anonymous
| They rise to the occasion usually unless major mental health concerns , I’d send them |
Anonymous
+1 I see kids go off to college every year who have not had the same academic challenge as their college peers, who are very shy, who have been babies or heavily managed at home, for the most part they all do fine. Agree with the pp that youth with serious mental health challenges need a closer eye and really strong plan in place for how they will make the transition. |
Anonymous
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I'd give careful thought to what the alternatives are, whether your kid is amenable to any of the alternatives, whether imposing any of the alternatives on a resistant kid will be a path to success, and what your financial limits are.
What exactly do you see your kid doing for the next year if not going to college? How will that help them be better prepared/more ready by August 2022? E.g., staying home working a minimum wage job to gain some maturity can be a pretty grim experience if all his friends have left town. This plan could be particularly grim layered on top of this past year of COVID. Other plans could require even more maturity than college (e.g., solo travel in Europe, assuming COVID allows it), while more supervised options will cost $$$. |
Anonymous
sorry, hit submit too soon. So, if an option you'd consider is some kind of paid program, consider whether it would really be that much more expensive to send him for a semester of college to see how it goes--maybe he will surprise you. Etc. You need to game out pros and cons of every alternative, and think about what your contingency plans are if things go south with any of the options. |
Anonymous
Give some context. How are you defining "kid is not ready"? Maybe it's YOU that isn't ready (to let go). |
Anonymous
| They are ready. |
Anonymous
| In our hall we had a kid whose mom individually wrapped his laundry detergent in ziplocks in case he lost the scoop. |
Anonymous
| Not OP but thank you for the encouragement! I worry my DD is not ready to manage a calendar! (Not about anything that recurs, like the classes, but about the odd appointments). And checking email! Etc. |
Anonymous
| Agree that delaying only makes sense if you have an alternate plan that will better position them for college in a year. I can imagine lots of cases where delaying won't do any good and might even make the situation worse. |
Anonymous
She may not be- but she will learn! |
Anonymous
If your child is not able to manage a calendar and remember to check email by the time they graduate high school, either there are executive function issues there that need to be diagnosed and treated, or they’ve have people doing that for them too much throughout their high school,years, and may benefit from some independence. |
Anonymous
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NP also in the same boat. With the pandemic, I feel as though missing out on the normal experiences my child should have had junior/senior year has him paralyzed with the college decision, which makes me question whether he is ready at all.
On the other hand, as a PP said, if the alternative is working a minimum wage job for a year, how much will that help? OP, it makes me feel better to know there are others in this situation. |