DH yelling too much

[Anonymous]

Any tips to curb dh's yelling? He is absolutely not the worst and our club is already very low key with that kind of unwanted participation (not how I grew up with parents yelling and roaring as a fun past time). He acknowledges that others yell too much and get into a coaching role when they shouldn't but sees himself as "rallying" the team and positively hyping them with a dash of directions...NO I just wish he would shut his mouth. I already keep the game time to myself until the last moment in hopes something else busies him but he asks repeatedly and clears his usually busy schedule to go. He is driving me so crazy!! Its unnecessary for him to do anything but his already ample clapping. Any tips on how to reach someone who sees the flaws in the other dads but not himself?

[Anonymous]

Tell him how attractive the others Dads are that don’t do that

[Anonymous]

Record him and show him how he looks

[Anonymous]

I have 3 sons. With my oldest, I must confess that I acted like you describe your DH acting at his games: lots of cheering, "a dash" of direction here and there . . .

Eventually, around age 11 or 12, my son yelled back to me one time "Dad - stop! It's distracting me!" So I did. In retrospect, I think I was making the game less enjoyable for him.

With my younger two boys, I'm much, much more low-key. I mostly just enjoy the game and let them play. On a rare occasion, where there is some specific issue I want to bring to their attention, I might wait for an opportune time when he's nearby or looks up at me, I might give a "dash" of advice/direction, but nothing like I would do before. I also try to record a lot of the game on my phone, or at least snippets of it that I will later sit down and review with my boys to talk about what they could have done differently (e.g., gotten into a better position off the ball, made a pass to a teammate instead of dribbling or vice-versa, etc.). I think they get more out of it by seeing the video and hearing me calmly talk about whatever direction/pointers I have, rather than them trying to understand what I'm saying during the game and execute on it right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Record him and show him how he looks

+1. Also tell him that your DC performs worse when he yells.

If he doesn’t believe you, yell the exact same way at him when he’s making love to you. I guarantee he won’t be able to perform. (This is assuming no one is at home and can hear you.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Record him and show him how he looks

+1. Also tell him that your DC performs worse when he yells.

If he doesn’t believe you, yell the exact same way at him when he’s making love to you. I guarantee he won’t be able to perform. (This is assuming no one is at home and can hear you.)

“Offsides!!!”

[Anonymous]

Mine was like this. It was incredibly embarrassing for DC and for me, and I’m sure extremely annoying for the coach and everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 sons. With my oldest, I must confess that I acted like you describe your DH acting at his games: lots of cheering, "a dash" of direction here and there . . .

Eventually, around age 11 or 12, my son yelled back to me one time "Dad - stop! It's distracting me!" So I did. In retrospect, I think I was making the game less enjoyable for him.

With my younger two boys, I'm much, much more low-key. I mostly just enjoy the game and let them play. On a rare occasion, where there is some specific issue I want to bring to their attention, I might wait for an opportune time when he's nearby or looks up at me, I might give a "dash" of advice/direction, but nothing like I would do before. I also try to record a lot of the game on my phone, or at least snippets of it that I will later sit down and review with my boys to talk about what they could have done differently (e.g., gotten into a better position off the ball, made a pass to a teammate instead of dribbling or vice-versa, etc.). I think they get more out of it by seeing the video and hearing me calmly talk about whatever direction/pointers I have, rather than them trying to understand what I'm saying during the game and execute on it right there.

Hindsight is the best teacher. I wish I had all the parental experience to begin with but I only have twins so they both get all my mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Record him and show him how he looks

+1. Also tell him that your DC performs worse when he yells.

If he doesn’t believe you, yell the exact same way at him when he’s making love to you. I guarantee he won’t be able to perform. (This is assuming no one is at home and can hear you.)

“Offsides!!!”

"move up, move up!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Record him and show him how he looks

+1. Also tell him that your DC performs worse when he yells.

If he doesn’t believe you, yell the exact same way at him when he’s making love to you. I guarantee he won’t be able to perform. (This is assuming no one is at home and can hear you.)

“Offsides!!!”

"move up, move up!"

Faster!! Pay attention!!

[Anonymous]

Haa..
"You gotta be there!"
"Turn it around!"
"Stop jogging!"
Haa..
Once your kid curses at the dad while playing, he will stop. That's how it worked for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Record him and show him how he looks

+1. Also tell him that your DC performs worse when he yells.

If he doesn’t believe you, yell the exact same way at him when he’s making love to you. I guarantee he won’t be able to perform. (This is assuming no one is at home and can hear you.)

“Offsides!!!”

"move up, move up!"

Faster!! Pay attention!!

What are you doing?!?!?

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I get stuck standing with ‘your husband’ because our kids are friends. Drives me absolutely crazy. He’s the ONLY one yelling. ‘Go to the goal, Emily! Go to the goal!’

People turn, stare/glare. I’m not even related to the guy but simply mortified by association. My DD is playing up a year this spring so I don’t have to deal with it again.

For all of the above reasons mentioned by others, you need to talk to him.

[Anonymous]

I would suggest trying to give him a "job" to do during the game and also point out that it is hard for the kids to hear/process/execute on yelled instructions during the game.

I also have a hard time just watching quietly when my kid is playing soccer. Your DH has all this nervous energy (regardless of whether you think he should or not, his body is producing adrenaline that needs somewhere to go).

Someone suggested that he could record the game (or certain plays) - that would give him something to do besides yell. Or is there a calmer parent that he could chat with during the game - where they are sharing their observations, but not yelling at the kids.

[Anonymous]

My favorite are the dads who pace up and down the sideline like another linesman yelling at their kid wherever they happen to be on the field.