Giving your kids cash in lieu of tuition for $$ schools

[Anonymous]

I am trying to wrap my head around what would be fair and motivating yet also not allow the money to dictate if it doesn't have to.

We don't really have a budget for college. We will be able to pay for whatever it is, but we want our kids to be prudent.

DS is a junior. He asked me yesterday if he gets accepted to our competitive state school and decides to go there, would he be able to get some cash if he chose that school over a private or out of state that would cost twice as much or more.

I am inclined to do it - like give him some cash upon graduation (not the full difference), but I also don't want it to be the deciding factor if he thinks he'd like somewhere else more.

Had anyone done something like this?

[Anonymous]

hell no.

[Anonymous]

My parents told me that if I go to the school I got merit aid, instead of the full price option, I could use the extra money for grad school. That worked well for me and influenced my decision to go to the cheaper school. Took out less grad school loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hell no.

Can you elaborate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am trying to wrap my head around what would be fair and motivating yet also not allow the money to dictate if it doesn't have to.

We don't really have a budget for college. We will be able to pay for whatever it is, but we want our kids to be prudent.

DS is a junior. He asked me yesterday if he gets accepted to our competitive state school and decides to go there, would he be able to get some cash if he chose that school over a private or out of state that would cost twice as much or more.

I am inclined to do it - like give him some cash upon graduation (not the full difference), but I also don't want it to be the deciding factor if he thinks he'd like somewhere else more.

Had anyone done something like this?

Yes, I know plenty of people who did this. Plenty give cars and options as well sophmore year.

And I know Plenty of people who made their kids pay the tuition difference between the instate and OOS or expensive private. Ie kid takes out loans for the difference.

Some people I know make kids take out loans for any schools. They make grades 3.0 and above parent pays back the loans per semester.

100% I would do this, but would put it in some sort of trust or savings account. Yes we did this.

[Anonymous]

My parents did this and it was motivating and made me smarter about choosing a school. They proposed an annual college “budget” that was maybe 15 to 20 percent lower than the priciest privates. If my college expenses were under budget for a given year, I got half the difference in cash. If over budget, it was a low interest loan from them. I graduated with a small nest egg for starting out that was invaluable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hell no.

This, if we have extra it goes to grad school. You don't get the cash.

[Anonymous]

Yeah my parents made that bargain with me. I went to a prestigious state school instead of a private school. They told me they’d buy me a house/condo at the school to live in free and give me a new car. I happily took the bargain. I lived in the house for 4 year, paid all bills associated and my parents sold it for 100k more than they paid. Good deal for all

[Anonymous]

Depends on the private school he would be giving up. This is an 18 year old kid you are negotiating with whose viewpoint might be “short term”. If you are willing to spend $x and if kid picks the BEST college for what he wants to major in, sure give him the difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah my parents made that bargain with me. I went to a prestigious state school instead of a private school. They told me they’d buy me a house/condo at the school to live in free and give me a new car. I happily took the bargain. I lived in the house for 4 year, paid all bills associated and my parents sold it for 100k more than they paid. Good deal for all

That is a great idea.

[Anonymous]

OP, your kid is awfully presumptuous for asking the question. What makes him think he's in a position to negotiate with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am trying to wrap my head around what would be fair and motivating yet also not allow the money to dictate if it doesn't have to.

We don't really have a budget for college. We will be able to pay for whatever it is, but we want our kids to be prudent.

DS is a junior. He asked me yesterday if he gets accepted to our competitive state school and decides to go there, would he be able to get some cash if he chose that school over a private or out of state that would cost twice as much or more.

I am inclined to do it - like give him some cash upon graduation (not the full difference), but I also don't want it to be the deciding factor if he thinks he'd like somewhere else more.

Had anyone done something like this?

Yes, I know plenty of people who did this. Plenty give cars and options as well sophmore year.

And I know Plenty of people who made their kids pay the tuition difference between the instate and OOS or expensive private. Ie kid takes out loans for the difference.

Some people I know make kids take out loans for any schools. They make grades 3.0 and above parent pays back the loans per semester.

100% I would do this, but would put it in some sort of trust or savings account. Yes we did this.

Cant keep your story straight. First “would” then “did.”

[Anonymous]

I’d put in some contingencies about any amount of money given, but I certainly wouldn’t give access to more than a couple thousand bucks at a time. Even that might be risky. Kids get into all kinds of unexpected things when they go to college and too much money can makes those problems worse for everyone.

If the kid makes the choice to go to state school, and is practical, that’s great but I would not give the entire difference between state and private school every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am trying to wrap my head around what would be fair and motivating yet also not allow the money to dictate if it doesn't have to.

We don't really have a budget for college. We will be able to pay for whatever it is, but we want our kids to be prudent.

DS is a junior. He asked me yesterday if he gets accepted to our competitive state school and decides to go there, would he be able to get some cash if he chose that school over a private or out of state that would cost twice as much or more.

I am inclined to do it - like give him some cash upon graduation (not the full difference), but I also don't want it to be the deciding factor if he thinks he'd like somewhere else more.

Had anyone done something like this?

Yes, I know plenty of people who did this. Plenty give cars and options as well sophmore year.

And I know Plenty of people who made their kids pay the tuition difference between the instate and OOS or expensive private. Ie kid takes out loans for the difference.

Some people I know make kids take out loans for any schools. They make grades 3.0 and above parent pays back the loans per semester.

100% I would do this, but would put it in some sort of trust or savings account. Yes we did this.

Cant keep your story straight. First “would” then “did.”

The would is prescriptive. I would do this (if I were you).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your kid is awfully presumptuous for asking the question. What makes him think he's in a position to negotiate with you?

The parents are willing to pay for whatever option.