Teens are homebodies
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Anonymous
| My kids (16 and 14) are both homebodies. Neither have a lot of friends (both a bit introverted and shy) and they are content to hang out with their dad and me. While I enjoy it, I worry about their transition to college and the larger world. I know most teens are separating from their parents during this stage of life and are more focused on their peers - it’s normal and natural. Anyone else have teens like mine? |
Anonymous
| Its kind of hard to tell right now. |
Anonymous
| Yes. It really worries me too, but there's not that much we can do right now. Once things are more normal, I will be pressing them to socialize more outside of the house. |
Anonymous
| Mine are/were like that. They have a few friends but are content to spend most of their time with us. My oldest is out of school and working. He adjusted just fine but is quite content to live at home. |
Anonymous
| Are they introverted (a personality trait) or shy (an anxiety trait). If it is their anxiety that is keeping them at home, address it because you don't want it influencing their choices. If they're just introverts, let them be. |
Anonymous
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As long as they have some friends, I wouldn't worry.
My DD is also an introvert, too many friends is exhausting for her. Back to normal times, encourage them to set up time for peer hang outs. |
Anonymous
| Agree that the question is whether they are happy. They may also grow out of it, somewhat. My 17 YO DC is an introverted homebody, and I’ve worried, at times. He’s a very mature kid, intellectually, but he has always seemed to be a bit behind socially. He has friends, but hasn’t gone out a lot in the past, and has seemed fine with that. However, a week ago, he confided that he felt sad that he seemed to be missing fun that others are having. We talked about how he could change that, in very general terms. Last night, on his own volition, he organized a group outing to the movies. It’s a small thing for many, but I was so proud of him for putting himself out there. He had a great time, and gained so much confidence. I’ve learned that I can’t hold him to a schedule, and he’ll get around to things when he’s ready. |
Anonymous
| Having the exact opposite here I just have to say you should consider yourself really lucky. They will transition just fine in college. |
Anonymous
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Bumping this thread because I have 2 DDs, 15 and 13, who are also happy at home and almost never socialize outside of school. They’re happing hanging out with each other but I’m noticing that they are growing apart a bit as they get older, which is normal. I would assume this is when they would branch out to spend more time with peers but it just isn’t happening, they are just spending more time at home on their own.
I know that since they seem content I shouldn’t worry, and I don’t want to push them to do things they don’t want to do, but if anyone has advice that would be great. |
Anonymous
What are you waiting for? I don't understand this. Your kids have lost out on so much already, get them out there now. Generally+ speaking, kids this age have been back at normalcy for some time now. |
Anonymous
I’m not the PP you quoted, but just pointing out that that post was from spring 2021. I’m sure they wouldn’t write that now. |
Anonymous
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I’m an introvert with an extroverted mother who never got me. Do they have any friends? Do they ever do anything social? I needed my downtown at home. The transition yo college was fine but I hated living in a dorm because there were so many people around. I got an apartment with roommates after the first year and it was much better.
For my own kids, one teen is a lot like me. He plays a sport and sees kids there, but other than that he prefers to be home. That’s okay. He is seeing others and doing something out of the house most days per week. I am very happy to not socialize with anyone except DH and the family in evenings and on the weekend. Interacting with people all week at work is draining and I need alone time to recharge. |
Anonymous
| ^I realize this thread was bumped but the same advice applies to the new poster. |
Anonymous
| What do you mean by homebodies? If that means they are on their phones all day doing nothing, then yes that's a problem. If they are just natrually introverted and engaged then probably not too much reason to be concerned. |
Anonymous
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So I was a teen who had mainly one best friend at that age, and then just a small couple of school friends. I know that my mom worried about me. She didn't really push me though to do anything. I was socially immature, spent a lot of time reading, but was not anxious or depressed at all. I was extremely close to my best friend and not lonely. I did activities through school (not sports though bc I wasn't sporty)
I went away to college and had a couple weeks of adjustment to hanging out with what ended up being a huge friend group in college, and catching up on the social development I missed in high school. I did go a little overboard and didn't focus on school very much. I do think that I was kind of annoying and more immature than my peers as I remember getting ditched a few times my freshman year, early on. I figured it out, though. To me, it would depend on what the kids are doing when at home. Are they sitting home all day on their phone? I think that's pretty unhealthy. But if they have activities that are just more solitary (reading, art) and don't seem depressed, let them find their own way! But maybe you can encourage them to take those interests into more structured activities (like an art class, or creative writing, or do yearbook at school etc) |