Teens are homebodies

[Anonymous]

I was like this in high school; I had a few friends, but I'd go long stretches without seeing them and I spent most nights at home.

When I got to college I made a small group of closer friends (one of whom I ended up marrying), but to this day I'm still a lot like I was in high school. It hasn't held me back (well, it's definitely kept me out of certain high paying careers that I would hate but I do fine financially). I've got friends, not a ton, but enough for me. I'm happy and well adjusted and still a homebody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I was a teen who had mainly one best friend at that age, and then just a small couple of school friends. I know that my mom worried about me. She didn't really push me though to do anything. I was socially immature, spent a lot of time reading, but was not anxious or depressed at all. I was extremely close to my best friend and not lonely. I did activities through school (not sports though bc I wasn't sporty)

I went away to college and had a couple weeks of adjustment to hanging out with what ended up being a huge friend group in college, and catching up on the social development I missed in high school. I did go a little overboard and didn't focus on school very much. I do think that I was kind of annoying and more immature than my peers as I remember getting ditched a few times my freshman year, early on. I figured it out, though.

To me, it would depend on what the kids are doing when at home. Are they sitting home all day on their phone? I think that's pretty unhealthy. But if they have activities that are just more solitary (reading, art) and don't seem depressed, let them find their own way! But maybe you can encourage them to take those interests into more structured activities (like an art class, or creative writing, or do yearbook at school etc)

I agree. I was similar as a teen, didn’t have a lot of friends and was immature socially. My own DD is like this as well. She isn’t on her phone/device all day, prefers reading and hanging out with her sister over socializing with kids from school. I mostly leave her alone but of course worry as a mom. Then I remind myself that I was also like that. It wasn’t until college that I matured socially and made more lasting friendships. And met my DH.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my younger one is like that (12), I also worry. When I was a teenager, I was homebody, but it wasn’t because I “liked” it - I was new to town and a little shy and struggled to make friends. I was invisible. When I went to college, I had a normal experience with lots of friends.

I get irritated when people blow isolation off. It does cause feelings of sadness and each social interaction becomes weighed with significance, so kids become anxious. It’s a bad cycle. Unfortunately so many kids are socially isolated due to technology.

[Anonymous]

It is hard. There are no malls, not a lot of safe, affordable places for teens besides the pool or library. Maybe skating parks if they are into that scene. There are no arcades and parents do not seem keen on having teens visit other's at their home. It is tough. I have a 15 yo who will stay in the house unless I push the agenda at getting out. Black Hills has pedal boats and her and friends lives going there. Urban Air Adventure is a fun hangout. I am trying out downtown Frederick as it seems safe, has cool affordable dining options and shops. I will be around with my youngest child in case they need me but we will setup a meet up location and time. I feel my teen needs some autonomy.