Should I pretend I NEED my husband?!

[Anonymous]

I think it is starting to really bother my husband that I don’t need him. Through the years I have become more and more independent and self-sufficient. In the beginning he was definitely the man of the house and I looked for him to help me with many things. But I’ve chosen the easier route by googling and looking on YouTube to figure things out on my own. I’ve become the queen of the castle and when he tells me I need to do such and such I respond with, “it’s been done”. His response seems a little perturbed. Should I just pretend that I need him??

[Anonymous]

It’s nice to feel wanted/needed. At least a little.

Tell him you still need him to lay the pipe.

[Anonymous]

Why is it the easier route to figure things out on your own vs. Letting him help you with things you say he has been doing since the beginning as man of the house?

[Anonymous]

Let him snake out your plumbing often and he'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

For daily tasks, all adults should be self-sufficient. But when something stressful or terrible happens, that's when you need each other for emotional support.

[Anonymous]

Good, that means you won’t be seeking alimony when you get a divorce

[Anonymous]

So you were a dumb ass before google? How does that feel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is it the easier route to figure things out on your own vs. Letting him help you with things you say he has been doing since the beginning as man of the house?

If that's the case sure. But it sounds as if her dh is telling her XYZ needs to be done, not just going and doing it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your DH is emotionally needy but most men are beyond happy if they are fed and sexually satisfied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your DH is emotionally needy but most men are beyond happy if they are fed and sexually satisfied.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good, that means you won’t be seeking alimony when you get a divorce

Nobody is getting alimony anymore, maybe for a few years if you quit working.

[Anonymous]

Being independent is just as toxic as being codependent.

Your goal is being interdependent.

But not you should not fake needing your H for help. Perhaps you are just impatient and controlling.

It's good to look inward when you have questions like this.

[Anonymous]

Why fake it? You don't technically NEED him to set the mousetrap and dispose of the mouse, but don't you WANT him to? Seriously. Find something you really like him to do. And appreciate that. Use him as your emotional support. Allow him to support you in ways that work for you. Don't fake it. That's like faking an orgasm.

[Anonymous]

Don’t fake incompetence. But I have learned that my DH actually enjoys a lot of those household tasks. He enjoys the sense of accomplishment. It’s not about being the man of the house, he just likes to figure something out and get it fixed.

He also drags his feet on some things. So we both do things around the house and just try to communicate when it’s something we want to do or when we’re procrastinating and need help. It’s not about traditional roles, it’s about balancing independence and mutual support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is starting to really bother my husband that I don’t need him. Through the years I have become more and more independent and self-sufficient. In the beginning he was definitely the man of the house and I looked for him to help me with many things. But I’ve chosen the easier route by googling and looking on YouTube to figure things out on my own. I’ve become the queen of the castle and when he tells me I need to do such and such I respond with, “it’s been done”. His response seems a little perturbed. Should I just pretend that I need him??

googling and looking on YouTube to figure things out <> queen of the castle. what are your three biggest goog/tube accomplishments?