Are you talking with your children about anti-Asian racism?

[Anonymous]

Just read the disturbing story about the white kids who shouted racist insults at an Asian American boy playing soccer at Longfellow. It made me wonder, if you are a non-Asian family, are you positive that your children have not participated in racist taunts towards Asian American kids? Slanty-eyes, Ching-Chong-Chinaman comments, Kung-Flu, etc? Have you talked with your children about how it is racist?

[Anonymous]

I don't need to talk to him, he knows it is racist. He has called other kids out for stupid S like that.

[Anonymous]

If you need to talk to your kids at this age about things like that you have been doing something wrong for a VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY long time.

You raise your child from day one to respect everyone.

[Anonymous]

If I told my kids to not call anyone “Ching Chong Chinaman” they would be absolutely horrified, and say MOM!!!!

The thought would never occur to them. Not sure what’s going on with the kids who did this, but someone should be knocking on their door and talking to their parents.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been talking to my [white] kids about anti-Asian racism since the first time I heard about “robots” with “zero creativity” who “only know how to study”. Bonus points when those words are uttered by people with “in this house” lawn signs.

[Anonymous]

As the mother of a Hispanic kid, I talk about racism and discrimination against ALL minorities including Asian-Americans (especially these days).

[Anonymous]

Do you think that those boys at Longfellow had parents who knew? Or parents who assumed that their kids didn't say racist things?
Or parents who at home were secretly racist? I always wonder...

[Anonymous]

I am a mom of Asian kids and most parents are horrified after they hear that their children pulled their eyelids or called my children racist names. You can never assume that your kid doesn’t do these things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you need to talk to your kids at this age about things like that you have been doing something wrong for a VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY long time.

You raise your child from day one to respect everyone.

This.

We’ve discussed it as a family as a social topic since Jan 2020 and my teens are both discussing it in school historically and as a current event. We are a multiracial, multiethnic family (mostly AA) so these discussions are not new to us. Because of a strong military tradition, a lot of Asian women have married into my family since the 1940s so we have see how anti-Asian prejudice impacts people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a mom of Asian kids and most parents are horrified after they hear that their children pulled their eyelids or called my children racist names. You can never assume that your kid doesn’t do these things.

+1 another Asian American mom here. I’ve gently told a few parents that their children made “slanted eye” gestures to my children, and the parents were horrified. I assume that they had never actually talked with their children about the specifics of racist gesture and remarks.

[Anonymous]

I haven't had to talk to DS about not being racist because like others have mentioned, this is a conversation we've had out in the open for a long time about respect, double meanings of words that seem innocuous but can be offensive, about overt racism and micro aggressions regarding race and gender.

Unfortunately, things have come up every now and again at school (with other kids) where they have been additional teachable moments for DS.

I will say that middle school kids are racist for shock value, even non white kids. The stuff I hear about after the fact (and just yesterday in fact after I picked up DS from a lesson) its crazy to me that kids talk and behave and think this way. Even your kid. Yes you reading this. The kids yesterday, their moms would be MORTIFIED and are clueless to this behavior. Class VPs at school who think their kids walk on water moms. Its stupid how much parents don't know about their kids or what they do or say or how they think.

[Anonymous]

The references you made are things that were said in the 80's. "Chinese, japanese, look at those, dirty knees."

My kids are growing up in a very progressive city and have always had Asian friends. When trump started talking about the "chinese flu" we talked about WHY that was wrong to say and the effects it might have on people. I've checked in with my kids about checking in on their friends and their parents, and they've heard me asking their Asian friends "how are your grandparents doing? is somebody with them when they run errands?" and I make my kids walk their Asian friends home so they aren't walking alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I told my kids to not call anyone “Ching Chong Chinaman” they would be absolutely horrified, and say MOM!!!!

The thought would never occur to them. Not sure what’s going on with the kids who did this, but someone should be knocking on their door and talking to their parents.

Is that's the extent of your anti-racist talk with your kids, then they should be horrified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just read the disturbing story about the white kids who shouted racist insults at an Asian American boy playing soccer at Longfellow. It made me wonder, if you are a non-Asian family, are you positive that your children have not participated in racist taunts towards Asian American kids? Slanty-eyes, Ching-Chong-Chinaman comments, Kung-Flu, etc? Have you talked with your children about how it is racist?

Extremely positive.

The above comes from a crapy parenting period.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for this post OP.