Parents won't get vaccinated

[Anonymous]

I can't even talk to my mother anymore.

My 75 year old mother has turned into an insane right wing conspiracy theorist. She just recites fox/news max to back up her insane "ideas". With that she refuses to get a COVID vaccine because she "just doesn't trust vaccines". She never had issues with vaccines in the past, but she fell for the "plandemic" video and now even refuses to get a flu vaccine; something she always made it a point to get. Also told me today "I just don't think what is in these vaccines is good. No one had autusim when you were kids." There is truly no reasoning with stupidity and ignorance.

It is what it is at this point. If she catches COVID on her own accord, I will only feel so bad. However, I don't want to be the one to give it to my parents. This summer it will be 2 years since I have seen my parents because due to COVID I didn't see them all of 2020. I will be fully vaccinated as will my husband. However, our kids will not be vaccinated. We obviously can't live the rest of our lives avoiding them.

Not sure this is really a question as I don't know what the question would be. I hate that they are putting us in this situation because of their ignorance.

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of ways to see them safely but it sounds like you don't want to even do that. Which is fine but don't blame it on them not wanting to get the vaccine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of ways to see them safely but it sounds like you don't want to even do that. Which is fine but don't blame it on them not wanting to get the vaccine.

+1. Who calls their parent stupid?

[Anonymous]

People who have to deal with conspiracy loving right wing parents call them stupid.

OP, they have made their choice.
The only way I would see them is everyone masked and outside, since you probably can't trust them to keep their distance either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of ways to see them safely but it sounds like you don't want to even do that. Which is fine but don't blame it on them not wanting to get the vaccine.

+1. Who calls their parent stupid?

Somebody whose parents are acting stupid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of ways to see them safely but it sounds like you don't want to even do that. Which is fine but don't blame it on them not wanting to get the vaccine.

They live out of state so visiting is not as easy as just sitting in a park for the afternoon. If we visit we stay with them. They see my siblings and their families all the time indoors.

Now will we visit this summer and throw caution to the wind, most likely.

[Anonymous]

I would go visit them, but I wouldn't stay with them. Mainly because I would need a break every night from the right wing crazy talk.

[Anonymous]

This sucks OP. My mom got hers because she needed to for work, but my dad was refusing/dithering. I had to cancel a planned visit with them because she refused to leave him home (really?) and he had refused to get the shot.

He got it. I would play hardball.

[Anonymous]

Hmm. It's a judgment call - I would understand you taking really any of the options here (anything from "whatever" and just visiting, to putting your foot down and saying no vax, no visits).

Personally, I would say that as long as both she and my kids were unvaccinated, I would only visit under one of three conditions (one of, not all three):

1) Both families were able to fully quarantine for 7 days before the visit, with a test on day 5.
2) The visit was outdoors, distanced, and masked.
3) Community spread dropped such that in both your state, and her state (and, if you need to fly, the country as a whole) dropped to < 10 in 100k new cases per day, using the 7 day rolling average. Right now, just for a bench mark, DC/MD/VA have been floating in the 15-18 range, and the country as been around 17-18. The highest states (NJ and NY right now) are at about 40, and the lowest states (HI) are at like 5.

Sounds like option 2 is out if they're far away. If she was willing to quarantine, and you could trust her to do so, I would do option 1 even though it's a big sacrifice for your family. I mean, it's your mom! But I would be clear with her that this isn't something you can do super often, so this is probably it until cases get low.

Other than that, I'd wait and go with option 3. I would guess most, if not all, of the country will be there by late summer.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I wouldn’t say another word about it. State your plan once. NO vaccine = no kids visiting. If your parents keep bringing up the subject of vaccines, Tell them the only thing you need to know is what is their preferred hospital if they become sick.

[Anonymous]

Of course you can avoid them! That's what they get for being stupid. Tell them you don't want them infecting your children, and that you'll be able to meet when the kids get their vaccines (next year, possibly, depending on their age).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of ways to see them safely but it sounds like you don't want to even do that. Which is fine but don't blame it on them not wanting to get the vaccine.

+1. Who calls their parent stupid?

Those whose parents are stupid. Duh. Are you anti-vaccination too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Of course you can avoid them! That's what they get for being stupid. Tell them you don't want them infecting your children, and that you'll be able to meet when the kids get their vaccines (next year, possibly, depending on their age).

Yeah, I would focus on what should be the truth OP. I'm worried my kids would give it to you and it could kill you. I can't really live with that outcome, even if it's a low probability one. The end. Let's keep it real if they give it your kids, your kids are fine. So leave that out of it.

With the distance, I would either go there and stay in a hotel and meet them outside and masked OR wait until your kids are vaccinated OR until community spread is truly low.

So it's going to be a while unless you're willing to travel all that way to sit outside for an hour or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of ways to see them safely but it sounds like you don't want to even do that. Which is fine but don't blame it on them not wanting to get the vaccine.

+1. Who calls their parent stupid?

People with stupid parents. Do you think everyone got smart ones? Nope.

[Anonymous]

I would hold off on visiting until community spread is low enough that you feel safe.

I don't want my kids to get Covid, so until they can be vaccinated, I'd be wary.

This is the choice your parents are making. Same with TDAP when I had newborns. All the grandparents willing got a booster for that.

This time next year kids should be able to be vaccinated. But at some point this summer, community spread may be low enough that covid is less likely. I'd watch those numbers and then decide what you're comfortable with.

It's not the exact same risk level for everyone. Your parents need to know there's a chance you all could infect them and kill them. If they are ok with that, well ok then.