My wife lies a lot

[Anonymous]

She is a pathological liar that lies about little stuff and exaggerates a ton. It bothered me a bit in the past but now I’m close to divorce. I’ve confronted her about it and she knows she does it, but somehow it’s a disease. She’s been doing it since she was a kid.

[Anonymous]

I wish there were an award for the best thread title. I don’t even care what this is about but it’s a pretty funny heading!

[Anonymous]

Does your wife want to stop? are there any negative consequences to her lying, like has she lost friends or a job from it?

If the answer to both is no, why would she stop?

[Anonymous]

Solution: she should take up fishing

[Anonymous]

I worked on my own tendency to lie in my 30s. It came from an authoritarian parent who was always in my hair. Telling little lies was the only way I could get some breathing room. It was the fearful response of a child. I worked with someone on my fear and my lying almost disappeared. Not saying this is why your wife does it, but there may be and cause she can work on.

[Anonymous]

I'm your wife I do it because I find it amusing and it makes things interesting. I enjoy making up stories, people, and scenarios *shrugs*

[Anonymous]

Does she have a job in sales? The ability to lie and exaggerate is a skill that can be channeled. Think of it as creative storytelling.

Unless she’s lying about things that affect the bottom line of your marriage...fidelity or finances.

FWIW my DH never outright lies to me, but he places more value in what he thinks I want to hear over the actual truth. Not a lie, but he definitely leaves out crucial details that make him look better. Likewise, he doesn’t appreciate that I like (maybe even need) to know and acknowledge the actual truth.

Needless to say I am rubbish as sales, and many other professional settings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm your wife I do it because I find it amusing and it makes things interesting. I enjoy making up stories, people, and scenarios *shrugs*

^Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm your wife I do it because I find it amusing and it makes things interesting. I enjoy making up stories, people, and scenarios *shrugs*

This is the same for my SIL. I never believe anything she tells me but I pretend to in order to keep the peace. I almost think she doesn’t care if she is believed or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked on my own tendency to lie in my 30s. It came from an authoritarian parent who was always in my hair. Telling little lies was the only way I could get some breathing room. It was the fearful response of a child. I worked with someone on my fear and my lying almost disappeared. Not saying this is why your wife does it, but there may be and cause she can work on.

DP same as me. Everything was a federal case. Husband is the same. Accidentally leave a light on or what did that cost (to thd penny). Too controlling.

I work ft and earn a lot of $$. If I want to get an $11 candle I will. To avoid a rant, will say I had it or was a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked on my own tendency to lie in my 30s. It came from an authoritarian parent who was always in my hair. Telling little lies was the only way I could get some breathing room. It was the fearful response of a child. I worked with someone on my fear and my lying almost disappeared. Not saying this is why your wife does it, but there may be and cause she can work on.

This is me too. Lying is reflexive when you grow up this way. The fact that you don't like the way your wife conducts herself and have "confronted" her will only make her disappear more into this defense mechanism. Work on creating an atmosphere of peace, acceptance, and non-intrusion for her.

[Anonymous]

Is there a question here, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm your wife I do it because I find it amusing and it makes things interesting. I enjoy making up stories, people, and scenarios *shrugs*

You badly need therapy.

[Anonymous]

Cute Story! Next?

[Anonymous]

I was raised by an extremely blunt mother, and used to be rigorously truthful with DH. His mother was the queen of little white lies told to soothe. He insists that I lie rigorously to protect his ego. It took years, but I finally capitulated in the name of peace for our children.