Documenting emotional abuse

[Anonymous]

I’m becoming more concerned about my emotional safety and have been looking for the best ways to document emotional abuse from my husband. How do you gather evidence?

[Anonymous]

Just leave. Stop playing games. No one will care about emotional abuse. If its that bad, pack up your stuff and go.

[Anonymous]

Why? It has no bearing in a divorce. Just get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just leave. Stop playing games. No one will care about emotional abuse. If its that bad, pack up your stuff and go.

I don’t know where to go with our pre-teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just leave. Stop playing games. No one will care about emotional abuse. If its that bad, pack up your stuff and go.

I don’t know where to go with our pre-teen.

Start an in-home separation and figure it out. No one cares about emotional abuse. I divorced an emotional abuser. Everyone has logistics to deal with when figuring out a divorce. emotional abuse is irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Does any of this emotional abuse happen in front of others? Someone you trust to be a witness? Abusive text messages to you? Voicemail? Email? Any threats of violence that could be recorded? Maybe it gets recorded on doorbell camera or home security camera. Some states allow one party to record without the other person knowing. If you know every Friday he gets drunk after work and gets emotionally abusive and you live where a secret recording is ok, you might be able to record it your phone or on laptop camera. Or maybe you have some one stop by to witness it. Hopefully, it never comes to this but police reports for domestic disturbances also can have this. If he yells or screams you could have neighbor be on notice and have them call cops and it would show up in a police report.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just leave. Stop playing games. No one will care about emotional abuse. If its that bad, pack up your stuff and go.

I don’t know where to go with our pre-teen.

Look for community services and programs in your vicinity for abuse victims. You can also call your local courthouse/clerk for a referral to an organization with resource info.

[Anonymous]

You will likely share custody regardless. Not sure what you are hoping to accomplish. Start saving money and look for another place to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does any of this emotional abuse happen in front of others? Someone you trust to be a witness? Abusive text messages to you? Voicemail? Email? Any threats of violence that could be recorded? Maybe it gets recorded on doorbell camera or home security camera. Some states allow one party to record without the other person knowing. If you know every Friday he gets drunk after work and gets emotionally abusive and you live where a secret recording is ok, you might be able to record it your phone or on laptop camera. Or maybe you have some one stop by to witness it. Hopefully, it never comes to this but police reports for domestic disturbances also can have this. If he yells or screams you could have neighbor be on notice and have them call cops and it would show up in a police report.

No one cares about yelling or screaming.

If she wants to leave, she just needs to start a separation. There is nothing documentation of emotional abuse will do in a divorce case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will likely share custody regardless. Not sure what you are hoping to accomplish. Start saving money and look for another place to live.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does any of this emotional abuse happen in front of others? Someone you trust to be a witness? Abusive text messages to you? Voicemail? Email? Any threats of violence that could be recorded? Maybe it gets recorded on doorbell camera or home security camera. Some states allow one party to record without the other person knowing. If you know every Friday he gets drunk after work and gets emotionally abusive and you live where a secret recording is ok, you might be able to record it your phone or on laptop camera. Or maybe you have some one stop by to witness it. Hopefully, it never comes to this but police reports for domestic disturbances also can have this. If he yells or screams you could have neighbor be on notice and have them call cops and it would show up in a police report.

He doesn’t get drunk.
He’s working from home 11 hrs/ day.
He loses his temper, insults our child quite often, even out in our front yard.
He controls the money.

[Anonymous]

What do you hope to accomplish by documenting emotional abuse? It's not going to affect whether or not you can get a divorce or custody arrangements. You aren't going to get a restraining order for emotional abuse, unless he's threatening physical harm. Just figure out how to get out and go.

[Anonymous]

Get a therapist for your child. Find a job if you don’t have one. Tell him you would like to try family therapy and if he says no tell him you are planning a separation. Find a mediator. He will still likely have joint custody. Make sure he agrees to your daughter having a therapist. Good to have an objective third party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just leave. Stop playing games. No one will care about emotional abuse. If its that bad, pack up your stuff and go.

I don’t know where to go with our pre-teen.

Get an apartment and move. Simple.

[Anonymous]

OP where are you located?

In MD you could call the Family justice center in Rockville they can give you advice. Or Court Watch Montgomery they will also direct you.