WWYD? Convo with acquaintance

[Anonymous]

I was having a conversation with a group talking about school and the pandemic. It was a mixed group: some with private, some public, some hybrid, some virtual, some full time.

We are public school parents. Our kids were in hybrid all year. I mentioned that I hired a tutor to come on the asynchronous days to teach my 3rd grader and fifth grader. I said I tried to teach them myself but it was too frustrating for all of us and I was worried that I’d damage our relationship by trying to play teacher too. This would be woman said, “That’s nice for you but you need to own that you are replicating class privilege. Most people don’t have hundreds of dollars to spend a week on a tutor.”

I was stunned that someone I barely know other than socially as part of a larger group would say something so rude. But that she also come lately ignored the private school parents whose schools were open full time.

I said “I know that and it’s unfortunate but it’s not my fault our school wasn’t

Someone tried to defend me by saying “you have to do what is best for your kids” and she was like “that’s what all white patents say. But when are we going to start doing what’s best for society.”

(By the way she is white but identifies as a POC because she is Jewish).

The conversation moved along to the royals and she also gave me a hard time for being “too sympathetic” to Prince Harry. I’ll definitely try to avoid her in the future. But it just felt weird to have another adult attacking me over innocuous comments. I felt like saying, “jeez lady I don’t even care that much, just making conversation.”

Would you have told her to back off?

[Anonymous]

Sorry for all the typos! I’m on my phone. I hope it’s clear what the typos were supposed to say.

[Anonymous]

No, do not try to engage, just brush it off and avoid her. Likely everyone in the group felt her comments were out of line. You don’t need to defend the decisions you make for your family - we also hired a tutor because that is what worked best for our family. I am not going to solve the world’s problems by foregoing the extra help we need and are able to afford.

[Anonymous]

I mean if I was there I would have said - yeah, I agree - I fully advocate opening in person and it’s the stupid fcps school board that didn’t do it, lol.

[Anonymous]

She sounds psycho

[Anonymous]

Lemme guess, she lives in MoCo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was having a conversation with a group talking about school and the pandemic. It was a mixed group: some with private, some public, some hybrid, some virtual, some full time.

We are public school parents. Our kids were in hybrid all year. I mentioned that I hired a tutor to come on the asynchronous days to teach my 3rd grader and fifth grader. I said I tried to teach them myself but it was too frustrating for all of us and I was worried that I’d damage our relationship by trying to play teacher too. This would be woman said, “That’s nice for you but you need to own that you are replicating class privilege. Most people don’t have hundreds of dollars to spend a week on a tutor.”

I was stunned that someone I barely know other than socially as part of a larger group would say something so rude. But that she also come lately ignored the private school parents whose schools were open full time.

I said “I know that and it’s unfortunate but it’s not my fault our school wasn’t

Someone tried to defend me by saying “you have to do what is best for your kids” and she was like “that’s what all white patents say. But when are we going to start doing what’s best for society.”

(By the way she is white but identifies as a POC because she is Jewish).

The conversation moved along to the royals and she also gave me a hard time for being “too sympathetic” to Prince Harry. I’ll definitely try to avoid her in the future. But it just felt weird to have another adult attacking me over innocuous comments. I felt like saying, “jeez lady I don’t even care that much, just making conversation.”

Would you have told her to back off?

HAHAHA! Oh that's rich! Do her kids then get to check off the POC box on college applications?

[Anonymous]

I would definitely avoid her in the future. she sounds unwell.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Where was this op?

[Anonymous]

Extremely rude of her. Everyone heard her. She's labelled as a nut already. There is no need to engage, OP.

[Anonymous]

I've seen this before, where a person will direct their anger at one person, someone whom they either hate for some reason and/or are jealous of the person. That, or they just don't respect the person for some reason and sense from the surrounding crowd they can get away with targeting. Basically, bullying.

[Anonymous]

I would have just said “That’s something we think about often. Tell me, how do YOU avoid it?”

“Identifying as” a POC because you are Jewish is not a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was having a conversation with a group talking about school and the pandemic. It was a mixed group: some with private, some public, some hybrid, some virtual, some full time.

We are public school parents. Our kids were in hybrid all year. I mentioned that I hired a tutor to come on the asynchronous days to teach my 3rd grader and fifth grader. I said I tried to teach them myself but it was too frustrating for all of us and I was worried that I’d damage our relationship by trying to play teacher too. This would be woman said, “That’s nice for you but you need to own that you are replicating class privilege. Most people don’t have hundreds of dollars to spend a week on a tutor.”

I was stunned that someone I barely know other than socially as part of a larger group would say something so rude. But that she also come lately ignored the private school parents whose schools were open full time.

I said “I know that and it’s unfortunate but it’s not my fault our school wasn’t

Someone tried to defend me by saying “you have to do what is best for your kids” and she was like “that’s what all white patents say. But when are we going to start doing what’s best for society.”

(By the way she is white but identifies as a POC because she is Jewish).

The conversation moved along to the royals and she also gave me a hard time for being “too sympathetic” to Prince Harry. I’ll definitely try to avoid her in the future. But it just felt weird to have another adult attacking me over innocuous comments. I felt like saying, “jeez lady I don’t even care that much, just making conversation.”

Would you have told her to back off?

HAHAHA! Oh that's rich! Do her kids then get to check off the POC box on college applications?

There is no box like this.

[Anonymous]

"Then they eat caviar and peanut butter sandwiches on the good Lenox"

Just roll your eyes at these people as appropriate.

[Anonymous]

This lady sounds crazy, but sadly the last couple of weeks of similar conversations have taught me that you just need to steer clear of any kind of Covid-related playground talk with other parents. Even expressing a desire to have your kids back in school or a wish to get the vaccine promptly can lead to someone being all sassy and critical.