Bedwetting and pull up concern

[Anonymous]

I really hope someone can tell me that I am not alone here. DD 8 still wets the bed which we deal with matter of factly with pull ups. Yesterday, she threw me for a loop and did something that I was not expecting at all. She gets ready for bed (pj's and pull up) then we have some TV time and then its off to bed. Well last night while watching TV, she decided to pee in her pull up!! I was at a loss for words and I still am. From now on I think I will limit the pull up until she goes to bed. I don't know if she has done this before and she said she hasn't when I asked her. All she said was I don't know when I asked her why. That's just laziness on her part! She does not have any problems with accidents during the day, its only at night. Someone please tell me that my daughter isn't the only one that's done that. I am quite embarrassed even to be typing this even though its anon.

[Anonymous]

Why are you embarrassed about this?

I have the distinct impression you never gave your kid directions not to do this. If you didn’t give her directions not to do this, how was she supposed to know it wasn’t to be done?

Do not shame her. The onus here is on you. Your kid didn’t pee in a pull-up for some nefarious reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you embarrassed about this?

I have the distinct impression you never gave your kid directions not to do this. If you didn’t give her directions not to do this, how was she supposed to know it wasn’t to be done?

Do not shame her. The onus here is on you. Your kid didn’t pee in a pull-up for some nefarious reason.

She never has accidents during the day. She could of just got up and went to the bathroom to go instead of just peeing in her pull up. She is too old to be wetting herself during the day when she is awake. I shouldn't have to tell her not to pee in her pull up when she is wide awake.

[Anonymous]

Please don’t freak out. Anger and bathroom issues don’t go well with each other.

Maybe you should try a week with no pull up? Make sure the bed has sheet cover, sheet, sheet cover, sheet. Then if she does have an accident you just have to pull off the top sheet and sheet cover and there’s another set underneath. My kids both trained late, so I get it, but we tried here and there to give them a chance to challenge their bodies. Sounds like it’s a good time for your daughter!

[Anonymous]

My 8 year old is down to the occasional accident, thank god, but it has been a long road. He did not like the pull ups so we didn't make him wear them. We did layer the bed, pad, sheet, pad, sheet. Since he choose not to wear a pull up, he was responsible for removing the wet stuff when he had an accident. It wasn't a big deal. If he woke up wet, he would make the change, change jammies, pee, and go back to bed.

We didn't get upset, his Pediatrician said he is healthy and that bed wetting is normal for his age. We said ok, and offered options. DS made his choice. All was well.

[Anonymous]

My son took a very long time to get out of his pull-up as well but I would put it on as the very last step before she goes to sleep - and after she goes to the bathroom one last time.

We suggested to my son that he try to go without pull-ups and did exactly what a pp suggested - put a matress protector down and be prepared to a lot of laundry. Don;t make a big deal if she wets the bed, just change the sheets and try again.

At the same time try to limit water, make sure she goes to bathroom often before bed, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t freak out. Anger and bathroom issues don’t go well with each other.

Maybe you should try a week with no pull up? Make sure the bed has sheet cover, sheet, sheet cover, sheet. Then if she does have an accident you just have to pull off the top sheet and sheet cover and there’s another set underneath. My kids both trained late, so I get it, but we tried here and there to give them a chance to challenge their bodies. Sounds like it’s a good time for your daughter!

Thanks for the tip. We have her go without pull ups every now then. She is the one that begs to go back to pull ups because she absolutely hates waking up in a wet bed in the morning. I don't have a problem if its when she is sleeping because I know its very common her age. I am at a loss for words as to why she would pee in her pull up when she was fully awake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you embarrassed about this?

I have the distinct impression you never gave your kid directions not to do this. If you didn’t give her directions not to do this, how was she supposed to know it wasn’t to be done?

Do not shame her. The onus here is on you. Your kid didn’t pee in a pull-up for some nefarious reason.

She never has accidents during the day. She could of just got up and went to the bathroom to go instead of just peeing in her pull up. She is too old to be wetting herself during the day when she is awake. I shouldn't have to tell her not to pee in her pull up when she is wide awake.

This wasn't an accident and she didn't "wet herself". She did it intentionally, but not maliciously. You put her in a diaper and didn't tell her that this way of using it is off-limits. If you don't tell her that, how is she supposed to know it? Why "shouldn't you have to tell her"? If she's using pull-ups at 8 (which many kids do), she has been using some form of diaper for her entire life. That is normal to her.

This is not rocket science. The pull-up goes on immediately before bed and not earlier. For now, you can sit your kid down at some other time of day and say: "I need to apologize for how mad I got the other night. I realized that I never told you not to do that. Now I am telling you: the pull-up is not for convenience, it is for when you are asleep. When you are awake, you need to get up and use the toilet. To help remind you, we won't put it on until bedtime."

+1 to the poster saying that anger and toileting skills do not go together. You have to get your freakout under control here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son took a very long time to get out of his pull-up as well but I would put it on as the very last step before she goes to sleep - and after she goes to the bathroom one last time.

We suggested to my son that he try to go without pull-ups and did exactly what a pp suggested - put a matress protector down and be prepared to a lot of laundry. Don;t make a big deal if she wets the bed, just change the sheets and try again.

At the same time try to limit water, make sure she goes to bathroom often before bed, etc.

That's exactly what I am going to start doing. I don't know if she has done that before and she denied it when I asked her if she had.

[Anonymous]

Agree with advice above but also: Have you tried a bedwetting alarm? I didn't think my 7- year-old was anywhere near nighttime dryness (woke every day with a sopping pullup, slept like the dead), which was fine with us (my father and brother were bedwetters until adolescence, so I wasn't unprepared for it). But it really bothered DS and he was embarrassed about wearing pullup. The pediatrician suggested we try an alarm. I was totally skeptical but within 2 weeks of starting the alarm he was reliably dry every night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with advice above but also: Have you tried a bedwetting alarm? I didn't think my 7- year-old was anywhere near nighttime dryness (woke every day with a sopping pullup, slept like the dead), which was fine with us (my father and brother were bedwetters until adolescence, so I wasn't unprepared for it). But it really bothered DS and he was embarrassed about wearing pullup. The pediatrician suggested we try an alarm. I was totally skeptical but within 2 weeks of starting the alarm he was reliably dry every night.

She sleeps like the dead too! We did try the alarm about 6 months ago and it woke up DH and I but not her. She slept right through it. A tornado can touch down outside her window and she would still now wake up. Her pull is also totally soaked in the morning as well. I never get mad over it. Yes its frustrating but I know its common. I just didn't know what to think when she peed herself when she was wide awake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you embarrassed about this?

I have the distinct impression you never gave your kid directions not to do this. If you didn’t give her directions not to do this, how was she supposed to know it wasn’t to be done?

Do not shame her. The onus here is on you. Your kid didn’t pee in a pull-up for some nefarious reason.

She never has accidents during the day. She could of just got up and went to the bathroom to go instead of just peeing in her pull up. She is too old to be wetting herself during the day when she is awake. I shouldn't have to tell her not to pee in her pull up when she is wide awake.

This wasn't an accident and she didn't "wet herself". She did it intentionally, but not maliciously. You put her in a diaper and didn't tell her that this way of using it is off-limits. If you don't tell her that, how is she supposed to know it? Why "shouldn't you have to tell her"? If she's using pull-ups at 8 (which many kids do), she has been using some form of diaper for her entire life. That is normal to her.

This is not rocket science. The pull-up goes on immediately before bed and not earlier. For now, you can sit your kid down at some other time of day and say: "I need to apologize for how mad I got the other night. I realized that I never told you not to do that. Now I am telling you: the pull-up is not for convenience, it is for when you are asleep. When you are awake, you need to get up and use the toilet. To help remind you, we won't put it on until bedtime."

Thanks. I just never thought that an 8 year old would pee in a diaper just because she was wearing one. With that being said, what would stop her from peeing in it after its on and she is already in bed? I have told her that from now on that it will be going on right before she goes to bed and AFTER she goes potty. I hope that was a one time occurrance. But from now on, she will be putting it on right before bed. She does know that they are pull ups and not diapers although they are a lot more expensive that I remember diapers were geeze.


+1 to the poster saying that anger and toileting skills do not go together. You have to get your freakout under control here.

[Anonymous]

Not op. Our DD was still bed wetting until age 6, we tried washable training pant with underwear inside etc, so she could feel the wet and wake up. Even when she did got up to bathroom she was too sleepy and would just stand there and wet her pants. We went through a lot of changing and washing then DD was finally able to wake up to go to bathroom fine. We followed 2 important advices from 2 friends regarding bed wetting: first, never wake up kids to go to bathroom during their sleep, we have to wait for kids to wake up themselves which means their body is ready to handle on their own. Second advice was definitely don’t drink milk at dinner or bedtime, only limited amount of water. DD was daytime potty trained at 2.5 yo, but we just let her wear pull up for night time since we thought it’s too early for her to be ready, DD got used to wear pull-up. Kids will need to get through some bed wetting stage then they will be nighttime potty trained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with advice above but also: Have you tried a bedwetting alarm? I didn't think my 7- year-old was anywhere near nighttime dryness (woke every day with a sopping pullup, slept like the dead), which was fine with us (my father and brother were bedwetters until adolescence, so I wasn't unprepared for it). But it really bothered DS and he was embarrassed about wearing pullup. The pediatrician suggested we try an alarm. I was totally skeptical but within 2 weeks of starting the alarm he was reliably dry every night.

She sleeps like the dead too! We did try the alarm about 6 months ago and it woke up DH and I but not her. She slept right through it. A tornado can touch down outside her window and she would still now wake up. Her pull is also totally soaked in the morning as well. I never get mad over it. Yes its frustrating but I know its common. I just didn't know what to think when she peed herself when she was wide awake.

This is the PP above. Just wanted to say that my DS was never awakened by the alarm either. When it went off, I would go in, shake him and call his name to wake him up, and get him up to change his pullup. Then back to bed. After several nights of this... the alarm stopped going off. I have no idea why this worked, but it did. Just providing encouragement that at some point you might tryit again, and that it might work even if the alarm doesn't wake him.

Re sleeping through the alarm: I have never seen anything like it. Pinned to his jammie top right under his chin, screaming loud, vibrating hard enough to shake his bed. He slept right through. FWIW, I remember my mother saying that if we ever had a fire in the middle of the night, she didn't know how she'd get my brother out of the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not op. Our DD was still bed wetting until age 6, we tried washable training pant with underwear inside etc, so she could feel the wet and wake up. Even when she did got up to bathroom she was too sleepy and would just stand there and wet her pants. We went through a lot of changing and washing then DD was finally able to wake up to go to bathroom fine. We followed 2 important advices from 2 friends regarding bed wetting: first, never wake up kids to go to bathroom during their sleep, we have to wait for kids to wake up themselves which means their body is ready to handle on their own. Second advice was definitely don’t drink milk at dinner or bedtime, only limited amount of water. DD was daytime potty trained at 2.5 yo, but we just let her wear pull up for night time since we thought it’s too early for her to be ready, DD got used to wear pull-up. Kids will need to get through some bed wetting stage then they will be nighttime potty trained.

The cloth trainers were a no go here as she would wet right through them. We have her mattress covered after having to replace it once before. I can only assume that your DD did not intentionally wet her pull up when she was awake correct? We also limit what and how much she has to drink after a certain time at night as well.