I found out my crush is bisexual...

[Anonymous]

...and she likes someone else.

What was the correct response to this? I listened, empathized, and stated that kids are pretty young (11) to know if they like boys or girls or both yet, but that we can respect her choice. My son was pretty upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...and she likes someone else.

What was the correct response to this? I listened, empathized, and stated that kids are pretty young (11) to know if they like boys or girls or both yet, but that we can respect her choice. My son was pretty upset.

What wasn't the correct response was what you said. That your son's crush likes someone else is the only issue that should matter -- not the gender of the other kid. Your response should have been "I'm really sorry she likes someone else, that's really tough, but you can't control who you like." It's certainly not your place to suggest that the girl may be too young to know what she likes and what she doesn't.

And spare me the "respect her choice" bs. Your "respect" isn't needed or wanted.

[Anonymous]

if she's too young to know if she likes boys or girls, how does your son know that he wants to date this girl, or girls in general? If you think kids his age shouldn't be or aren't attracted to people, why wouldn't you tell your son that he's too young to date?

[Anonymous]

How to raise entitled men 101

[Anonymous]

You treat it the same that you would if she had a crush on another guy. I'm not sure why it has to be treated differently?

You can empathize, listen, agree that it stinks she doesn't like him too...etc etc. And then discuss how to move on from that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...and she likes someone else.

What was the correct response to this? I listened, empathized, and stated that kids are pretty young (11) to know if they like boys or girls or both yet, but that we can respect her choice. My son was pretty upset.

What wasn't the correct response was what you said. That your son's crush likes someone else is the only issue that should matter -- not the gender of the other kid. Your response should have been "I'm really sorry she likes someone else, that's really tough, but you can't control who you like." It's certainly not your place to suggest that the girl may be too young to know what she likes and what she doesn't.

And spare me the "respect her choice" bs. Your "respect" isn't needed or wanted.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if she's too young to know if she likes boys or girls, how does your son know that he wants to date this girl, or girls in general? If you think kids his age shouldn't be or aren't attracted to people, why wouldn't you tell your son that he's too young to date?

^^Logic.

[Anonymous]

He’s only 11 and she said this was just a crush, nothing about dating. Maybe it was confusing to him. I agree explaining how we can’t control who we like but can control our actions and responses could be good to include OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:...and she likes someone else.

What was the correct response to this? I listened, empathized, and stated that kids are pretty young (11) to know if they like boys or girls or both yet, but that we can respect her choice. My son was pretty upset.

What wasn't the correct response was what you said. That your son's crush likes someone else is the only issue that should matter -- not the gender of the other kid. Your response should have been "I'm really sorry she likes someone else, that's really tough, but you can't control who you like." It's certainly not your place to suggest that the girl may be too young to know what she likes and what she doesn't.

And spare me the "respect her choice" bs. Your "respect" isn't needed or wanted.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...and she likes someone else.

What was the correct response to this? I listened, empathized, and stated that kids are pretty young (11) to know if they like boys or girls or both yet, but that we can respect her choice. My son was pretty upset.

Oh brother. Elementary school kids and middle schools are being fed garbage at school about “exploring their gender” and “exploring their sexual orientation.” They view it as homework from 2nd grade on as part of their DEI-Gone-Wild curriculum.

This stuff wouldn’t even be in their minds except the schools are telling them all to act confused and select it. Which one is it? You were born that way or so confused by school talks you tried everything out.

[Anonymous]

I suggest eating ice cream ... isn’t that standard for all breakups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...and she likes someone else.

What was the correct response to this? I listened, empathized, and stated that kids are pretty young (11) to know if they like boys or girls or both yet,[b] but that we can respect her choice. My son was pretty upset.

I am genuinely interested in this line of reasoning. It makes sense, but is that something anyone would ever say regarding a hetero crush? This logic only seems to apply when a young person is expressing attraction to the same gender...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if she's too young to know if she likes boys or girls, how does your son know that he wants to date this girl, or girls in general? If you think kids his age shouldn't be or aren't attracted to people, why wouldn't you tell your son that he's too young to date?

He’s not interested in dating. So I don’t need to tell him he can’t. But he likes a girl. He was confused & disappointed. Disappointed that she likes someone else. Confused about the bisexual aspect.

[Anonymous]

Not eve try one needs to pretend that 11 yos talking about gender and sex orientation is the coolest thing ever.

Stats show that unless she goes heavily into trans internet influencers and groups, she is going through a new phase pushed by the school and will emerge heterosexual later. It’s just so woke.

[Anonymous]

Tell him that sux that his crush is not into him and that she sounds like she had a lot going on in her head so prob isn’t really for a relationship anyhow.

Also tell him that girls saying they already have a BF or are gay or bi is an easy out. Then go do your homework or kick the ball around. Or paint your nails!