I want to go to church, but don’t know where to start under these circumstances

[Anonymous]

I have not regularly attended church since I was 12 and my parents “quit” the evangelical church we had attended for years.
When I was married, my husband and I visited several different churches but never quite got into any of them. Ultimately even though he was raised Christian, he became more and more cynical about church in general and any goodness of humanity for that matter. Not making excuses but his attitude really permeated. He assumes ulterior motives for everything, and thinks everyone is in it “for the money” or something and never doing anything just to help. That aspect and his dark view of humanity if only one of the reasons why I could not stay with him, but I am still healing from the affect his attitudes had on me. Also my teen son has absorbed a lot of his attitudes.

I miss going to church and the community I was part of as a child. For the last several years of my life I have focused my energy on launching my career, which I needed to do in order to get out of my marriage, but also found that I feel very much called upon to do the sort of work that I am doing. But in general during this time I neglected my spiritual growth and that of my children. My kids are now addicted to screens, fairly self-centered, and are not really part of any spiritual community.

Does anyone in here have any experience with bringing preteen or young teenager to church if they have never been? This seems very hard, especially since there is so much that I myself question. I definitely believe in God but everything else I question, and have pretty much been this way even when I was very religious as a child and had accepted Jesus Christ. Also wondering where I would feel welcome as a questioner and divorced mom who is also gay. Evangelical church obviously not where I’m heading.

I’m in Western Fairfax County, in case anyone has any contacts or recommendations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not regularly attended church since I was 12 and my parents “quit” the evangelical church we had attended for years.
When I was married, my husband and I visited several different churches but never quite got into any of them. Ultimately even though he was raised Christian, he became more and more cynical about church in general and any goodness of humanity for that matter. Not making excuses but his attitude really permeated. He assumes ulterior motives for everything, and thinks everyone is in it “for the money” or something and never doing anything just to help. That aspect and his dark view of humanity if only one of the reasons why I could not stay with him, but I am still healing from the affect his attitudes had on me. Also my teen son has absorbed a lot of his attitudes.

I miss going to church and the community I was part of as a child. For the last several years of my life I have focused my energy on launching my career, which I needed to do in order to get out of my marriage, but also found that I feel very much called upon to do the sort of work that I am doing. But in general during this time I neglected my spiritual growth and that of my children. My kids are now addicted to screens, fairly self-centered, and are not really part of any spiritual community.

Does anyone in here have any experience with bringing preteen or young teenager to church if they have never been? This seems very hard, especially since there is so much that I myself question. I definitely believe in God but everything else I question, and have pretty much been this way even when I was very religious as a child and had accepted Jesus Christ. Also wondering where I would feel welcome as a questioner and divorced mom who is also gay. Evangelical church obviously not where I’m heading.

I’m in Western Fairfax County, in case anyone has any contacts or recommendations.

People will weigh in with snotty comments about "Catholic Lite" or the "frozen chosen" (ignore them), but a divorced, gay questioner would be welcome at every Episcopal Church I've ever attended. It's more "high church" than evangelical in its worship services for sure (if you want more laid back worship, sometimes that's rhe Saturday night service), but very pro social justice and lots of volunteer opportunities for families to participate in and to meet people. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You can always try a Unitarian Church. They are welcoming to everyone no matter your background.

[Anonymous]

+1 on the Episcopal Church.

I don’t know how close to you this is, but I know a few people who go to St Matthews in Sterling. It’s pretty big, so you won’t feel spotlighted as a visitor.

[Anonymous]

I also was thinking Unitarian for you and your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also was thinking Unitarian for you and your kids.

I think Unitarian is a good choice -- also some episcopal churches would work, but they vary a lot.

[Anonymous]

Unitarian and Episcopal churches are both decent recommendations, but it really depends on what you're looking for in terms of God/Jesus.

Unitarians are very social justice oriented and tend to be spiritual, but they have no set beliefs about God. I know Unitarians who were raised Christian and have kept those general beliefs, but I also know Unitarians that are practicing pagans. There's no creed you subscribe to to be Unitarian.

The Episcopal Church, on the other hand, is a Christian Church. We believe in God, we believe that Jesus is God, etc. We recite the Nicene Creed in our services to affirm that belief. Now, we're more accepting of people who interpret the creed in untraditional ways to the point that they might not really believe it, and we've had some prominent members whose personal theology pushes the boundary on what could be called "Christian." Officially though, and in terms of what you'll find in the liturgy, we're Christians. If that turns you off, then the Unitarians will give you a more broadly spiritual experience.

[Anonymous]

i would also say Episcopalian or Methodist. Restoration (Methodist in Reston) and/or Floris United Methodist would be good options. St. Anne's Episcopal (also Reston) is welcoming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i would also say Episcopalian or Methodist. Restoration (Methodist in Reston) and/or Floris United Methodist would be good options. St. Anne's Episcopal (also Reston) is welcoming.

https://restorationreston.org/
https://www.florisumc.org/
https://www.stannes-reston.org/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unitarian and Episcopal churches are both decent recommendations, but it really depends on what you're looking for in terms of God/Jesus.

Unitarians are very social justice oriented and tend to be spiritual, but they have no set beliefs about God. I know Unitarians who were raised Christian and have kept those general beliefs, but I also know Unitarians that are practicing pagans. There's no creed you subscribe to to be Unitarian.

The Episcopal Church, on the other hand, is a Christian Church. We believe in God, we believe that Jesus is God, etc. We recite the Nicene Creed in our services to affirm that belief. Now, we're more accepting of people who interpret the creed in untraditional ways to the point that they might not really believe it, and we've had some prominent members whose personal theology pushes the boundary on what could be called "Christian." Officially though, and in terms of what you'll find in the liturgy, we're Christians. If that turns you off, then the Unitarians will give you a more broadly spiritual experience.

We believe Jesus is God’s son, not that he is actually God. OP the Episcopal Church will welcome you but the ones in our area are closed for Covid right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unitarian and Episcopal churches are both decent recommendations, but it really depends on what you're looking for in terms of God/Jesus.

Unitarians are very social justice oriented and tend to be spiritual, but they have no set beliefs about God. I know Unitarians who were raised Christian and have kept those general beliefs, but I also know Unitarians that are practicing pagans. There's no creed you subscribe to to be Unitarian.

The Episcopal Church, on the other hand, is a Christian Church. We believe in God, we believe that Jesus is God, etc. We recite the Nicene Creed in our services to affirm that belief. Now, we're more accepting of people who interpret the creed in untraditional ways to the point that they might not really believe it, and we've had some prominent members whose personal theology pushes the boundary on what could be called "Christian." Officially though, and in terms of what you'll find in the liturgy, we're Christians. If that turns you off, then the Unitarians will give you a more broadly spiritual experience.

We believe Jesus is God’s son, not that he is actually God. OP the Episcopal Church will welcome you but the ones in our area are closed for Covid right now.

The divinity of Christ is a basic Christian principle that, yes, the Episcopal Church affirms. When we say the Creed, we say:
We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.

"God from God," "true God from true God." Jesus is a member of the trinity, he's God, in the vast majority of Christian traditions.

[Anonymous]

Many have online services available now. I would start by watching some of the online services until you find one you filled pulled to continue watching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unitarian and Episcopal churches are both decent recommendations, but it really depends on what you're looking for in terms of God/Jesus.

Unitarians are very social justice oriented and tend to be spiritual, but they have no set beliefs about God. I know Unitarians who were raised Christian and have kept those general beliefs, but I also know Unitarians that are practicing pagans. There's no creed you subscribe to to be Unitarian.

The Episcopal Church, on the other hand, is a Christian Church. We believe in God, we believe that Jesus is God, etc. We recite the Nicene Creed in our services to affirm that belief. Now, we're more accepting of people who interpret the creed in untraditional ways to the point that they might not really believe it, and we've had some prominent members whose personal theology pushes the boundary on what could be called "Christian." Officially though, and in terms of what you'll find in the liturgy, we're Christians. If that turns you off, then the Unitarians will give you a more broadly spiritual experience.

We believe Jesus is God’s son, not that he is actually God. OP the Episcopal Church will welcome you but the ones in our area are closed for Covid right now.

Technically, the trinity (father, son, holy ghost) is god -- all can be prayed to, along with the saints, who intercede if you're RC -- don't now about saints in the Episcopal church) but I've personally never heard of anyone praying to the holy ghost.

But as pp indicates, a lot of Episcopalians in good standing don't pay much attention to any of those details. If you like ceremony and a Christian focus, go Episcopalian rather than Unitarian. IF not, try a Unitarian congregation and see how you feel.

[Anonymous]

OP- no advice here just a message of support. I feel strongly about adding religion and spirituality into DC life. I think many people can be successful in raising children with morality without a focused religion but for us it certainly helps raise many thoughtful topics and provides a map and book ends to behaviors.

Good luck finding something that works for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- no advice here just a message of support. I feel strongly about adding religion and spirituality into DC life. I think many people can be successful in raising children with morality without a focused religion but for us it certainly helps raise many thoughtful topics and provides a map and book ends to behaviors.

Good luck finding something that works for you.

but watch out for churches that teach or imply that the only way to learn such valuable things are via that denomination, and that people who are unchurched or who adhere to certain inferior religions, are not as moral or are even hell-bound.