Being asked to move up a team

[Anonymous]

This is our kid’s first year in travel so we’re still learning how things work so I could use some insight here. We got word this weekend that our kid is going to get an invitation soon to move up a team within their club (not to the top team). While this would be flattering, we’re reluctant to have them change teams because the coach of their current team is very good for our kid’s particular position, and the coach of the other team does not have this particular expertise. If my kid says no, my guess is they’ll look at a player who plays this position for the next team down from our current one.

Our only reservation about not accepting an invitation (if it comes) is whether it will affect our kid’s chances at moving up next year if another player has leap frogged them for this season because our kid declined to move up (which we would explain is only because of the unique coaching opportunity the current team provides for this year, not that our kid doesn’t want to play at the highest level they can). Any thoughts? With everything being so weird with covid and the chance that there might not be regular tryouts this spring, we don’t want to mess things up for our kid long-term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is our kid’s first year in travel so we’re still learning how things work so I could use some insight here. We got word this weekend that our kid is going to get an invitation soon to move up a team within their club (not to the top team). While this would be flattering, we’re reluctant to have them change teams because the coach of their current team is very good for our kid’s particular position, and the coach of the other team does not have this particular expertise. If my kid says no, my guess is they’ll look at a player who plays this position for the next team down from our current one.

Our only reservation about not accepting an invitation (if it comes) is whether it will affect our kid’s chances at moving up next year if another player has leap frogged them for this season because our kid declined to move up (which we would explain is only because of the unique coaching opportunity the current team provides for this year, not that our kid doesn’t want to play at the highest level they can). Any thoughts? With everything being so weird with covid and the chance that there might not be regular tryouts this spring, we don’t want to mess things up for our kid long-term.

Sounds like you’re open to the idea of moving up (as you should be, IMO) but that you really like the current coach and so does your player. If the invite comes, I would express that to the club - maybe they can find some way to continue to work in some training with the current coach even after you switch to the new team, at least during some transitional period.

[Anonymous]

Is your kids a keeper? I ask this because you seem to focus on the coach's expertise with a particular position. If so, see if your club offers extra training for keepers. If not, expertise in a position probably isn't much of a thing (sure some coaches may be better with strikers and others may be able to working on tackling with defenders, but overall it isn't a big deal in the scheme of things). I think you have to let your kid decide and you have to ask them what their goals are- do they just like hanging out with their friends and soccer is just incidental? Do they want to progress? The big question for me is are you jumping from team 3 to 2 (probably worthwhile) or 5 to 4 (maybe not so worth it). If the kid wants to advance, I'd also look outside of the club- if they are good enough for the club to call them up, they may be good enough for a club with fresh eyes to put them on a top team (which is real the real difference usually occurs)

[Anonymous]

If both coaches are good, I would not put much stock in positional expertise. If the players are U9-U12, is the coach positive and allowing of players to be creative, take chances, make mistakes without fear of the coach’s reaction? That is what you should look for in a coach. If you can say yes for the higher team coach then you should have your player move up a level. Only reason I would hold a player from going up to a higher team is if the coach is poor, toxic, etc. Just my two cents, good luck.

[Anonymous]

Just do a couple training sessions

[Anonymous]

I'd be mindful that your child's current coach may change - many clubs rotate coaches after a year or two - so you may run the risk of not advancing your kid and having them also lose the preferred coach. I'd move them up and see what you can do vis a vis special training for their position.

[Anonymous]

move up and do private sessions. EVERYone wants to move up and this opportunity may not come again.

[Anonymous]

OP, did they coach say why they want to move your DC up?

If they think his current skills, talent, etc. is good and it’s better served by moving up, then at least try it. Otherwise, don’t do it. I’ve seen many kids lose their confidence and can’t keep up with the size/speed difference with older kids.

IMHO, self-confidence is one of the most underrated aspect of soccer and it can also affect a kid’s love of the game.

[Anonymous]

How old is your kid? Unless the position is keeper, if they are young, there's a chance that they will move another kid on your child's current team. My son moved up in the middle of his U13 year (former left back) after a kid who played holding midfielder on his same team was offered a spot to move up and declined. They wouldn't have chosen a striker to fill the position, but they were open to training another defensive player to do the job.

If they move another kid on your child's team up, unless it is an expansion year or the other kid does a bad job, you are right in thinking that it may affect your child's ability to move up in the future, because the spot is filled by another equally competent player.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the feedback everyone, this is incredibly helpful. Responding to some questions/comments in case it changes anyone's thinking:

DC is a GK, and the current coach is a former professional GK. Kid is already doing all of the available GK clinics/trainings, but this coach gives a lot of game-specific feedback on DC's performance that I'm not sure they would get from coach without this background (never got it with other coaches). Coach would not be moving up with the team next year, so that's not a factor. DC wants to play at the highest level they can, but is also taking the long view on that. So while moving up now has obvious appeal, she would stay with the current team if this coach would position them better for next year than moving up would.

This is U13, so no reason to expect there would be more opportunities next year unless a GK on one of the higher teams leaves the club. For logistical reasons moving to another club isn't a realistic option, so we want to maximize DC's opportunities in this club (which is a very good club, so no concerns there).

We have not gotten the official invitation yet so I haven't been able to talk to the coach about specifics. We heard about it from a parent on the other team who approached me and said they heard DC would be joining their team. My understanding is the other team's GK had a season-ending injury and they don't have a back-up, so they need someone for spring. No guarantee it will come until it comes, but I want to think through the pros and cons in case it does come and we have a short deadline to decide. DC does not know about that conversation, and won't know anything unless/until it comes.

DC played up with this team a few times in the fall and did very well (clean sheet every time and not against the weakest teams in the division), so I'm not worried about their ability to play at that level. DC came into travel later than others her age and since there weren't regular tryouts this spring, they were initially placed on the lowest team by default and then were moved up a team shortly after the start of the fall season. At the risk of bragging, DC plays far ahead of what we see from other GKs in their current team's division. DC definitely wants more of a challenge than they're getting now, so it sounds like accepting the invitation (if it comes) is the right choice.

I think I'm struggling with this in part because DC has really bonded with these teammates and I've bonded with the parents, at a time when this is one of our few social outlets and there have been other significant changes in our family. So I'm sad to think about breaking those bonds, and concerned about disrupting a stable situation for DC at a time when everything else has been everything but stable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the feedback everyone, this is incredibly helpful. Responding to some questions/comments in case it changes anyone's thinking:

DC is a GK, and the current coach is a former professional GK. Kid is already doing all of the available GK clinics/trainings, but this coach gives a lot of game-specific feedback on DC's performance that I'm not sure they would get from coach without this background (never got it with other coaches). Coach would not be moving up with the team next year, so that's not a factor. DC wants to play at the highest level they can, but is also taking the long view on that. So while moving up now has obvious appeal, she would stay with the current team if this coach would position them better for next year than moving up would.

This is U13, so no reason to expect there would be more opportunities next year unless a GK on one of the higher teams leaves the club. For logistical reasons moving to another club isn't a realistic option, so we want to maximize DC's opportunities in this club (which is a very good club, so no concerns there).

We have not gotten the official invitation yet so I haven't been able to talk to the coach about specifics. We heard about it from a parent on the other team who approached me and said they heard DC would be joining their team. My understanding is the other team's GK had a season-ending injury and they don't have a back-up, so they need someone for spring. No guarantee it will come until it comes, but I want to think through the pros and cons in case it does come and we have a short deadline to decide. DC does not know about that conversation, and won't know anything unless/until it comes.

DC played up with this team a few times in the fall and did very well (clean sheet every time and not against the weakest teams in the division), so I'm not worried about their ability to play at that level. DC came into travel later than others her age and since there weren't regular tryouts this spring, they were initially placed on the lowest team by default and then were moved up a team shortly after the start of the fall season. At the risk of bragging, DC plays far ahead of what we see from other GKs in their current team's division. DC definitely wants more of a challenge than they're getting now, so it sounds like accepting the invitation (if it comes) is the right choice.

I think I'm struggling with this in part because DC has really bonded with these teammates and I've bonded with the parents, at a time when this is one of our few social outlets and there have been other significant changes in our family. So I'm sad to think about breaking those bonds, and concerned about disrupting a stable situation for DC at a time when everything else has been everything but stable.

Don't worry about the teammates and parents. You will remain friendly with the old ones - and in about two months you'll have a whole new set of friends.

[Anonymous]

Reading that this is an injury fill in for a GK, talk to your current coach and get their input. Also ask yourself how DD would feel if she played well in the spring, maybe won a tournament or two and had a great time, then got demoted when the prior GK recovered

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading that this is an injury fill in for a GK, talk to your current coach and get their input. Also ask yourself how DD would feel if she played well in the spring, maybe won a tournament or two and had a great time, then got demoted when the prior GK recovered

+1 There is no guarantee that when other goalie is healthy again your dd will still get top spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading that this is an injury fill in for a GK, talk to your current coach and get their input. Also ask yourself how DD would feel if she played well in the spring, maybe won a tournament or two and had a great time, then got demoted when the prior GK recovered

+1 There is no guarantee that when other goalie is healthy again your dd will still get top spot.

No. But there is a guarantee that she won't get the top spot if she doesn't try. This is an opportunity. If she wants to play at a higher level, then she should seize it. No it may not work out - that's life.

Equally if she has other goals it is perfectly reasonable to turn the opportunity down. But don't turn it down because it may not work out. By that reasoning you'd never get out of bed in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading that this is an injury fill in for a GK, talk to your current coach and get their input. Also ask yourself how DD would feel if she played well in the spring, maybe won a tournament or two and had a great time, then got demoted when the prior GK recovered

+1 There is no guarantee that when other goalie is healthy again your dd will still get top spot.

No. But there is a guarantee that she won't get the top spot if she doesn't try. This is an opportunity. If she wants to play at a higher level, then she should seize it. No it may not work out - that's life.

Equally if she has other goals it is perfectly reasonable to turn the opportunity down. But don't turn it down because it may not work out. By that reasoning you'd never get out of bed in the morning.

The easiest way to move up is to move clubs. In OP’s situation, best case she moves up and takes a girl’s spot due to injury. She better hope that girl doesn’t have good friends on the team, otherwise she’s getting ostracized (especially as a keeper)