My husband wants to go to Seminary

[Anonymous]

My husband has recently (last 3 or so years) discovered a relationship with God and has since felt a deep restlessness in his life. He recently started talking about feeling called to seminary, though not to become a priest necessarily. I’m wondering if anyone has any suggestions on reading I can do to best support him in this journey. He has been meeting with our priest and our priest mentioned to him that he feels my husband is being called. I’m praying for discernment and guidance and feeling....nothing.

We have a wonderful life and I’m feeling a lot of unease at the idea. We have two young children and would potentially be moving for seminary and the idea of uprooting them is central to my unease. However, I am also a Christian and believe that God will lead us where he wants us to be, but I’m not sure to how to support my husband as he discerns these feelings. Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

First, I trust you folks are Episcopal, etc., not RC.

Second, the primary duty of a married man is as a husband and father. No authentic call to ministry can compromise or endanger those relationships and the duties they involve. 1 Timothy 3:1-13 provides insight on this. This does not mean an authentic call will never impose any burden on the rest of the family. It does, however, suggest that the burden is on the one seeking ordination to do so without managing his affairs so that his family is properly taken care of and their domestic relations are not impaired.

[Anonymous]

Adding: the only way to test a vocation is via affirmative action. Thinking about it, either by you or him, accomplishes nothing. The people involved in choosing and training priests for your denomination doubtless are familiar with the issues that concern you and will bring them up during the process. In my experience, God more frequently shines light on the next right step to take than on the entire path. A first step toward pursuing priesthood may or may not lead to ordination; if all involved are sincere, it should nonetheless lead to a good result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, I trust you folks are Episcopal, etc., not RC.

Second, the primary duty of a married man is as a husband and father. No authentic call to ministry can compromise or endanger those relationships and the duties they involve. 1 Timothy 3:1-13 provides insight on this. This does not mean an authentic call will never impose any burden on the rest of the family. It does, however, suggest that the burden is on the one seeking ordination to do so without managing his affairs so that his family is properly taken care of and their domestic relations are not impaired.

“WHILE managing his affairs.”

Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he’s not seeking the comfort of the seminary for other, unholy purposes? Is there any suspicion that it could to establish proximity to other similarly confused male truth seekers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he’s not seeking the comfort of the seminary for other, unholy purposes? Is there any suspicion that it could to establish proximity to other similarly confused male truth seekers?

Very sure that’s not the case. He’s experiencing a real spiritual calling. He is interested in pursuing seminary/divinity school as a means to discern what that feeling or calling is.

[Anonymous]

Unless you are RC and down the road, he wants to become a priest. The biggest issue here is income, surely?
Many priests are married. I am not sure if they have to be, but it is encouraged in the Orthodox church that I belong to.
Such drastic changes in life are almost always a result of some emotional, mental or physical upheaval.
When and why did this calling start?
If I were you, I would be worried as well! I mean, he committed to you and your family and kids, but now he wants to commit to something else?
What does that mean for your and your kids' life? Even if he is not a priest? Doesn't the life of calling mean that you put others first? But, just not your and your kids?
In this case, he is putting himself first.
Honestly, it is great that you are supportive, but regardless of priesthood or not, how religious was he before this awakening?
What caused it? If this is the first step, where will you and your kids be a few years from now when he decides something else is his calling?
I could be totally wrong and he will continue to be a great husband and a father. I think at this point you might have to decide what is best for you and the kids. You need a steady income unless you are wealthy.
If you are independently wealthy, oh, well, move for the seminary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has recently (last 3 or so years) discovered a relationship with God and has since felt a deep restlessness in his life. He recently started talking about feeling called to seminary, though not to become a priest necessarily. I’m wondering if anyone has any suggestions on reading I can do to best support him in this journey. He has been meeting with our priest and our priest mentioned to him that he feels my husband is being called. I’m praying for discernment and guidance and feeling....nothing.

We have a wonderful life and I’m feeling a lot of unease at the idea. We have two young children and would potentially be moving for seminary and the idea of uprooting them is central to my unease. However, I am also a Christian and believe that God will lead us where he wants us to be, but I’m not sure to how to support my husband as he discerns these feelings. Any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated.

An academic seminary (i.e., not evangelical) may actually cure him of his feeling of being called. Because in an academic seminary, they teach the actual history of how the Bible came to be, and how the stories are just that - stories -- and that there are no true historical sites in Israel -- just sites that "tradition" says things have happened.

Are you Catholic? I've heard that the Church is now accepting married men because of the priest shortage. If so, your husband may be surprised to find mainly gay guys at seminary. These days, the Church is having trouble attracting anything else.

Maybe your husband could become a deacon instead? i.e., - not a full priest, but a person with a lot of parish responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are RC and down the road, he wants to become a priest. The biggest issue here is income, surely?
Many priests are married. I am not sure if they have to be, but it is encouraged in the Orthodox church that I belong to.
Such drastic changes in life are almost always a result of some emotional, mental or physical upheaval.
When and why did this calling start?
If I were you, I would be worried as well! I mean, he committed to you and your family and kids, but now he wants to commit to something else?
What does that mean for your and your kids' life? Even if he is not a priest? Doesn't the life of calling mean that you put others first? But, just not your and your kids?
In this case, he is putting himself first.
Honestly, it is great that you are supportive, but regardless of priesthood or not, how religious was he before this awakening?
What caused it? If this is the first step, where will you and your kids be a few years from now when he decides something else is his calling?
I could be totally wrong and he will continue to be a great husband and a father. I think at this point you might have to decide what is best for you and the kids. You need a steady income unless you are wealthy.
If you are independently wealthy, oh, well, move for the seminary.

I understand the practicality of your advice, but it seems somewhat insensitive to base the whole decision on finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are RC and down the road, he wants to become a priest. The biggest issue here is income, surely?
Many priests are married. I am not sure if they have to be, but it is encouraged in the Orthodox church that I belong to.
Such drastic changes in life are almost always a result of some emotional, mental or physical upheaval.
When and why did this calling start?
If I were you, I would be worried as well! I mean, he committed to you and your family and kids, but now he wants to commit to something else?
What does that mean for your and your kids' life? Even if he is not a priest? Doesn't the life of calling mean that you put others first? But, just not your and your kids?
In this case, he is putting himself first.
Honestly, it is great that you are supportive, but regardless of priesthood or not, how religious was he before this awakening?
What caused it? If this is the first step, where will you and your kids be a few years from now when he decides something else is his calling?
I could be totally wrong and he will continue to be a great husband and a father. I think at this point you might have to decide what is best for you and the kids. You need a steady income unless you are wealthy.
If you are independently wealthy, oh, well, move for the seminary.

I understand the practicality of your advice, but it seems somewhat insensitive to base the whole decision on finances.

it's reality. If you guys have a family that you are supporting, does he expect to stop saving for the future and uproot everyone so that he can start all over again? Who breaks it to Larla that daddy used her 529 to explore his calling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are RC and down the road, he wants to become a priest. The biggest issue here is income, surely?
Many priests are married. I am not sure if they have to be, but it is encouraged in the Orthodox church that I belong to.
Such drastic changes in life are almost always a result of some emotional, mental or physical upheaval.
When and why did this calling start?
If I were you, I would be worried as well! I mean, he committed to you and your family and kids, but now he wants to commit to something else?
What does that mean for your and your kids' life? Even if he is not a priest? Doesn't the life of calling mean that you put others first? But, just not your and your kids?
In this case, he is putting himself first.
Honestly, it is great that you are supportive, but regardless of priesthood or not, how religious was he before this awakening?
What caused it? If this is the first step, where will you and your kids be a few years from now when he decides something else is his calling?
I could be totally wrong and he will continue to be a great husband and a father. I think at this point you might have to decide what is best for you and the kids. You need a steady income unless you are wealthy.
If you are independently wealthy, oh, well, move for the seminary.

I understand the practicality of your advice, but it seems somewhat insensitive to base the whole decision on finances.

I suppose it might if you don't have financial worries. For the rest of us, eating and a roof over our heads is a priority to anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are RC and down the road, he wants to become a priest. The biggest issue here is income, surely?
Many priests are married. I am not sure if they have to be, but it is encouraged in the Orthodox church that I belong to.
Such drastic changes in life are almost always a result of some emotional, mental or physical upheaval.
When and why did this calling start?
If I were you, I would be worried as well! I mean, he committed to you and your family and kids, but now he wants to commit to something else?
What does that mean for your and your kids' life? Even if he is not a priest? Doesn't the life of calling mean that you put others first? But, just not your and your kids?
In this case, he is putting himself first.
Honestly, it is great that you are supportive, but regardless of priesthood or not, how religious was he before this awakening?
What caused it? If this is the first step, where will you and your kids be a few years from now when he decides something else is his calling?
I could be totally wrong and he will continue to be a great husband and a father. I think at this point you might have to decide what is best for you and the kids. You need a steady income unless you are wealthy.
If you are independently wealthy, oh, well, move for the seminary.

I understand the practicality of your advice, but it seems somewhat insensitive to base the whole decision on finances.

it's reality. If you guys have a family that you are supporting, does he expect to stop saving for the future and uproot everyone so that he can start all over again? Who breaks it to Larla that daddy used her 529 to explore his calling?

Exactly! The reality fo the situation is that the God does not provide... roof and food and money to pay for heating, water, electricity. Not does prayer buy a house!

[Anonymous]

So many anti-religious posts.

OP, my cousin became a permanent Roman Catholic deacon a few years ago after a decade long journey. It was not an easy thing to do, but it didn’t bankrupt them or lead him to raid his kids’ college funds. He went part-time while working. He still works full time for the State of MD. He gets the joys and giving of his spiritual calling in his other hours and still manages to coach his DDs’ sports and date his wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you are RC and down the road, he wants to become a priest. The biggest issue here is income, surely?
Many priests are married. I am not sure if they have to be, but it is encouraged in the Orthodox church that I belong to.
Such drastic changes in life are almost always a result of some emotional, mental or physical upheaval.
When and why did this calling start?
If I were you, I would be worried as well! I mean, he committed to you and your family and kids, but now he wants to commit to something else?
What does that mean for your and your kids' life? Even if he is not a priest? Doesn't the life of calling mean that you put others first? But, just not your and your kids?
In this case, he is putting himself first.
Honestly, it is great that you are supportive, but regardless of priesthood or not, how religious was he before this awakening?
What caused it? If this is the first step, where will you and your kids be a few years from now when he decides something else is his calling?
I could be totally wrong and he will continue to be a great husband and a father. I think at this point you might have to decide what is best for you and the kids. You need a steady income unless you are wealthy.
If you are independently wealthy, oh, well, move for the seminary.

I understand the practicality of your advice, but it seems somewhat insensitive to base the whole decision on finances.

it's reality. If you guys have a family that you are supporting, does he expect to stop saving for the future and uproot everyone so that he can start all over again? Who breaks it to Larla that daddy used her 529 to explore his calling?

Exactly! The reality fo the situation is that the God does not provide... roof and food and money to pay for heating, water, electricity. Not does prayer buy a house!

+1. Even the most pious cannot possibly believe their mortgage payment will magically appear in their account if they aren't working a paying job.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Money is not a primary concern. We have plenty- not an exorbitant amount but enough to live very comfortably.

My primary concern at this stage is how to support my husband as he explores this. Any decision is likely a year or so away (based on when classes would begin) so we are using this time to prayer and discussion.